National Grouch Day -Fulfillment (1.6.26)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

Why would we choose to limit ourselves? To limit reality? All reality is ours and ours to give. In giving and sharing, Joy increases, expanding Love, expanding our experience of LIFE!

This day, first Journey of Fulfillment, 2014
This day, second Journey of Fulfillment, 2016
One year ago–
Peace, Claim It!: Journey of Peace 2017– Day 23

Sharing

Did you know that today is National Grouch Day?  Inspired by the Grouch of Grouches, this is a day to celebrate that little bit (or lot) of grouch within. Image result for national grouch day

I am not a grouchy person. At all. When I woke up this morning I did not know it was National Grouch day, but I was totally in tune with it, oddly enough. When I got to work, I confessed to several people that I felt “grouchy”–and I used that word specifically, rejecting “cranky” for it. What was funny to me, was that (and this was still all before I learned it is actually National Grouch day) the people I confessed my grouchiness to, replied in kindThey felt grouchy too!

What was even funnier is that once we started admitting it, we were laughing about it–which is very un-grouchy. It was almost like allowing ourselves to embrace the grouch moved us past the grouch.

I don’t think this would have worked if I were more-often a grouch. If that were the case, I would have been serious about being a grouch. But the way it came out today was more, “can you believe it,  I (of all people) feel grouchy, haaaaaaa”! And we laughed. That’s the kicker, not only did my grouchiness get turned upside down, it was able to turn several other people’s grouchiness upside down.

In an odd twist, I feel like this is the perfect fit for today’s Journey.  I didn’t “limit myself” to “only happy thoughts”; I didn’t suppress the impulse to feel, even if it was the “grouch” in me.  But this very acceptance (and sharing it) expanded joy, and increased my and other people’s experience of life in a positive way.

If you haven’t yet today, embrace your inner grouch! Love your inner grouch! Be your inner grouch! …and laugh and laugh and laugh.

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Ways to support this work:

  1. Hire me as your Spiritual Coach, you may sign up for a personalized Journey with me Click here for more information. Or I offer 1-on-1 spiritual coaching sessions. This is non-religion specific, and open to everyone, even atheists, though of course we would call something like “self-analysis coach” for a self-identified atheist.
  2. Indulge in one of my healing services: Jharra, Reiki, Fire Ceremony (see withpearls.com for more information).
  3. Send me a monetary gift via paypal: paypal.me/SusanBillmaier (please note “gift” in the transaction).
  4. Tell a friend about this site, the coaching or healing services.
  5. Invite me to interview on a podcast or for an article.

All proceeds go toward increasing love, light, and a consciousness of Oneness in the world. Thank you for your contribution that benefits All.

These Journeys are always available on this site at no charge. I also provide Jharra, Reiki, and Fire Ceremonies at no-charge to those who ask.

Extension of Reality -Fulfillment (1.6.6)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

Why would I choose to limit my Self? To limit my reality? All of reality is mine, and mine to give! In giving and sharing, my joy increases, expanding my Love, expanding Life!

Sharing

The first sentence today is both rhetorical and impossible.

It’s rhetorical because the obvious answer/response is: I wouldn’t choose to limit myself. 

It’s impossible because your Self cannot be limited by you, by anyone.

This goes back to the discussion on day four and difference between “you” and “You”–your lower (personality) self, and your Higher (Divine) Self.

“You” (your lower, personality self), can try to limit your Self. And it can succeed in your experience of It, but not in the reality of It. You experience your Higher Self through the filters your lower self has put into place. Your lower self dictates its own experience of your Higher Self, and since it is both the developer, architect, and construction worker, it also puts into place the idea that it (your lower self) is the reality of you. Then it believes what it has made.

Once you begin to make decisions that recognize the reality of You (i.e. once you begin to wake up to the Truth of your Self), you begin to see where the lower self has made decisions about your experience of the Reality of your Higher Self without you even knowing it. This is “how” you can think that you can limit yourself.

The Truth is: All of reality is yours, and is You. That is…Real reality, not the so-called reality that your lower self has developed and constructed as its own kingdom that it rules.

The way you prove the reality of your Self is by giving and sharing it. You cannot give something you do not have. You have everything in Reality. You can give everything in reality without sacrifice to either your self or your Self (but your self can feel threatened  by lack and limitation, scarcity and not-having enough).

When you give and share from Reality, your joy increases, and expands your Love, expanding Life! This is because you are sharing what is Real, what is Constructive, what is created in Love, with Love, by Love, for Love.

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Ways to support this work:

  1. Hire me as your Spiritual Coach, you may sign up for a personalized Journey with me Click here for more information. Or I offer 1-on-1 spiritual coaching sessions. This is non-religion specific, and open to everyone, even atheists, though of course we would call something like “self-analysis coach” for a self-identified atheist.
  2. Indulge in one of my healing services: Jharra, Reiki, Fire Ceremony (see withpearls.com for more information).
  3. Send me a monetary gift via paypal: paypal.me/SusanBillmaier (please note “gift” in the transaction).
  4. Tell a friend about this site, the coaching or healing services.
  5. Invite me to interview on a podcast or for an article.

All proceeds go toward increasing love, light, and a consciousness of Oneness in the world. Thank you for your contribution that benefits All.

These Journeys are always available on this site at no charge. I also provide Jharra, Reiki, and Fire Ceremonies at no-charge to those who ask.

Infinite Steps to Peel the Onion -Abundance (1.5.31)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

You’ve made it to Round 4, congratulations!

We are back to using “I” as the subject of the Guiding Thoughts. If you are new to the Journeys, please see this page for information about how and why the rounds change.

Guiding Thought

Divine Love-Light is the Source of All. It is all good, all God. This Source is always seeking expression through me. My awareness of my personal identity as this Source provides me with infinite fulfillment and prosperity.

Sharing

Layers. You’ve heard about this right? …Spiritual growth is like peeling back the layers of an onion: once you get through one layer, it reveals the next layer, then the next layer, then the next, deeper and deeper. Or, maybe…

Spiritual growth is like peeling back the layers of an onion: because you may cry a lot.

Just a bit of humor there. I cry a lot…you gotta have some sense of humor about this stuff.

This is a direction that is inward…which is how I’ve always thought about the onion-analogy. You need “peel” and get through the surface-layers, before you can “peel” the layers underneath and dig deeply into core “issues” (or layers)… Here’s an example from my own life:

When I was a young adult, testing and trying relationships, I was not at all able to communicate my feelings. When someone asked me “how do you feel?”, I froze. I totally shut down. I remember in those youthful relationship experiments, this came up consistently. I would be asked “how do you feel”–and I am sure it came from a loving, caring place, but it felt like I was being asked a question which bombarded me with so much confusion and turmoil that I had no choice but to turn off.  It wasn’t like I meant to; it wasn’t like I was saying to myself, “time to cut this person off now!” My body/mind literally could not move or get past that question.

That was the very surface layer: having virtually no awareness why this was happening, not being able to do anything about it, and not understanding why it was happening.

The next layer was a small bit of self-awareness that if instead  of being asked “how do you feel?”, someone asked, “do you feel…>fill in the blank<?” I was able to acknowledge with “yes” or “no”. I still could not speak (still shut down), but at least I could identify that  I was feeling something, and what it was. This was tedious, but it was better than the previous scenario.

The third layer was, when I was in my mid-twenties, I began doing hard-core emotional work. It was the behavioral barometer that finally moved me into being able to a) self-identify a feeling and b) say the words.

Image result for behavioral barometer

Very briefly: on the right hand side of the barometer are words that correspond with emotional states. There is a process by which to link an emotional state with certain neurological patterns, which “lock” a person in that state, then release those patterns, freeing the mind/body/emotions from being locked.

The fourth layer was, after much Barometer work, I identified a specific situation when I was about 8 years old, in which I felt “unheard”, and in that moment, the pattern that got locked was, “if I’m not heard anyway, I’m just not going to talk”.  After releasing that pattern, I was able to learn to communicate my feelings–and that began peeling even further layers and releasing more emotional “stuckness”.

But that final release of that pattern, in recognizing its source, also did something else: it opened me up to positive growth. Now, I was not only continuing to peel back layers of deeper emotional stuckness, but I was also learning to express myself (the first positive layer), which opened the door to feeling heard and loved (the second positive layer), which opened the door to having more intimacy in relationships (the third positive layer), which opened up the door to even more love and intimacy.

This is how I see it:

If you would know infinity, take a step in every direction. ~ Goethe

There are infinite layers to infinite steps, all of which bring us one step closer to knowing the Source of All. The more steps we take, the more stuckness we can peel back, the more positive steps we can take forward, until we indeed are expressing Infinity through us, as our experience of fulfillment and prosperity.

I Am Becoming -Abundance (1.5.13)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

Fill your mind and heart with Love, and align with the Light of Truth. Be Steadfast and focused on your own Loving Presence; live in the peace of fulfillment of your own Divine Identity.

Sharing

I wonder what’s next for me?

I wonder this on many levels.

  • What’s next for my personal growth? I’ve been going through some personal growth (inter-relational stuff) for the past 6 years, that all has been very difficult; but I think I am through it, finally–and so much the better for it! What’s next!?
  • What’s next for my spiritual progress? My spiritual advancement has grown it seems by leaps and bounds in the past two years–first my mundan, then my 40-days of fire ceremony to the Divine Mother, now another 40-days of fire ceremony to Haidakhan Babaji and the Divine Mother; I recognize myself as spiritually fulfilled–which only began after the mundan. And I am now recognizing that fulfillment in others more and more.
  • What’s next for my service projects?  What’s next for my abundance growth?  My service projects are bringing me a different kind of fulfillment–and I think they are leading me toward my next abundance growth-spurt. So much of my wondering, doubting, thinking about “when will this happen” has just dropped away–it’s no longer in my mind.
  • What’s next for my healing? I am on a really good track with my healing; I’ve been eating kitchari almost daily, and my body has been very appreciative.
  • What’s next for my learning?  I’ve come to a bit of a lull with my learning (learning fire ceremonies took a lot!), but I am anxious to see what captures my fancy next.
  • What’s next for my Love? One of my most beloved pets died about 18 months ago; then another died about a year after that. There was a void that I was not ready to fill. Then, over the summer, the Universe decided to fill it for me: a kitten was abandoned in my garage. It took about 5 weeks for him to trust me enough for me to pet him, but now (8 weeks after he first showed up), he is in the house as family. What new Love will this little guy teach me?

I am wondering these things, because I’ve already come so far. Part of the wondering is “what could be better than this”? “If I’ve gotten here, how much more amazing can I have in my life”?

I now live, most of the time, in the space of always having my mind and heart filled with Love, aligned with the Light of Truth. I falter now and again–like earlier today, when I was tired and hungry, and felt cranky…but it rarely lasts very long.

I feel like I can see through the mud of material reality. I can see (or sense) the spiritual reality that enlivens everything, that exists as everything, that calls to everyone and lifts us up to Itself.

Be steadfast and focused on your own Loving Presence; live in the peace of fulfillment of your own Divine Identity. It happens. I’m here to tell you. Stay steady, seek ye first the Kingdom, and all will be added unto you.

I’ve not arrived; I am becoming. And it’s getting really fun to watch.

 

Dicrysahe -Healing (1.4.22)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Guiding Thought

We go deep within our inner stillness, and feel Divine Mind’s presence within. We hold out our empty hands, symbolic of leaving preconceptions behind; symbolic of seeking True answers, and ask, “What is the essence of healing?” These words resonate within us, as though in a vast cavern.  The word essence reverberates with these thoughts, “For what do we care most deeply?”; “What is our  essence?”; “What is our Truth?”; “Where is our deepest hurt, pain, and sorrow, that all may be healed?”

Reflection

Mantras are most powerful when energetically spoken silently within your Diamond Crystal Sacred Heart. ~Joseph Barry Martin

Meditation teachers generally say there are three ways to repeat mantras:

  1. Out loud (known as Vaikhari Japa). This way accustoms a person to the pronunciation and tones, and serves to calm the mind. In this method, the sound becomes externalized. For many people, especially beginners, this makes it easier to focus on the sound and its energy.
  2. Whispered inaudibly, with the breath merely passing over the lips (known as Upamsu Japa). The sound remains internal, yet the brain and body are engaged in the motion of making words. This requires a bit more concentration and focus, since there is no actual sound to bring the brain back when it starts to wander. The mind must be responsible for the brain, and keep it focused.
  3. Silently (known as Manasika Japa). This is generally understood as a mental practice; the mantra is simply repeated silently, which is said to require much focus, attention, and concentration.

Please note that this summary is not advocating that one way is “more powerful” than another way. You will find writings that say the first is most powerful, and the third the least powerful (as in the Chaitanya Bhagavata story, which says Vaikhari is 100 times superior to Manasika), and you will find writings that say Manasika is more powerful than Vaikhari (as in the Hari-bhakti-vilasa). I suggest you try them for yourself, and see what works for you, depending on your own goals and intentions. (Also, another form of japa that is not relevant here, but worth mentioning is Likhita Japa. This is when a person writes a mantra repeatedly.)

I have tried all three.  Personally, I like Manasika Japa the best. When I am doing japa, I focus my attention between my eyebrows, where I hold a picture of the energetic representation of the mantra. So, for example, if I am doing Om Namah Shivaya japa, I hold a picture of either Shiva or Babaji at my forehead; if I am doing Om hang Hanumate Rudratmakaye hung phat mantra, I have a picture of Hanuman in my imagination between my eyebrows.

This morning, I was reading a book by Joseph Barry Martin and came across the quote at the top. Today, while doing my japa, I changed my style. Instead of using my mind/brain to imagine an energetic representation while focusing on the words, I moved my focus to my heart area and concentrated on “hearing” the energy through my heart.

It was intense. I would like to officially add a fourth method of doing japa. I call it Dicrysahe- Diamond Crystal Sacred Heart 😉  -and it means feeling the energy of the words through the heart.

Why does this matter for the Journey today?

  1. Because when doing japa via Dicrysahe, I found there to be this resonance (as though in a vast cavern). It felt literally like a magnified pulse emanating from my chest.
  2. It felt like it was a very direct experience of the sound, without the sound. After all, sound is simply vibration; if I can feel the vibration in my body instead of hearing it, it’s the same energy but a different experience of it–visceral and without a brain-interpretation.
  3. I felt like I had a new grasp of my inner stillness, and could feel Divine Mind’s presence within. I admit, I have a hard time with stillness (until now…). Stillness, traditionally means something like “calming the monkey mind”. In order to get to stillness, one must pass through the mind, which is always in chaos–that’s why there’s meditation–to calm the mind and get to stillness. But Dicrysahe completely bypasses the mind. Instead of having a battle in the brain between what to focus on (the chaotic thoughts, or the calming ones), Dicrysahe changes fields, where no battle exists, because there is no mind, because everything happens in the heart.
  4. When I did the Guiding Thought with Dicrysahethere was a similar more direct experience of the Guiding Thought. It was more difficult than with a mantra, because with a mantra there is repetition of sound and syllables, and with the Guiding Thought I really had to focus on the energy, rather than the words. But it felt solid and pervading.

This is all new. Pretty cool, huh? Try it. Let me know what you think.

 

 

Energy Transference on Not Pie Day -Healing (1.4.15)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Guiding Thought

Your own Loving Presence is your personal connection with Divine Mind. Attuned to your own Loving Presence, you Know yourself as Whole and Holy. As you feel your Inner Unity, you know: this is all you want; you have found all you seek.

Reflection

I have been doing my spiritual practices with great enthusiasm. At the beginning of the Journey, I committed to doing some “extra” things to take care of myself physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Something is happening. I don’t know what, but people saw it today, and commented on it.

I went to Trader Joe’s for a few staples (that’s a standard pantry item, not a small metal thing that holds paper together). Now, I love Trader Joe’s. My regular TJ’s is near where I go to my j-o-b. There, lot’s of TJ “mates” know me by name, and I always get hugs when I go there. I once had a conversation with one of the mates there, who noted that “TJ employees are all empathic; that’s why they are so attentive to the customer, and why people like coming to TJ’s”–the staff is always paying attention on an emotional-(dare I say spiritual?) level. It’s at least one of the reasons I like going there; the hugs are also a reason, as is the free small samples of coffee, not to mention the standard pantry items I get every week or so.

Today, I did not go to my regular TJ’s. But I still got a hug! (more on that in a minute). Three very interesting energy exchanges happened in the span of about 5 minutes.

You know energy exchanges? Some of you do. It’s when there is a transference of energy between people. This is always happening…always. But most people are not aware of it. Think of yourself as a firefly, flying around flashing a certain pattern of light. When that light is observed by a “mate” (ok, there’s a pun here, since TJ’s calls their employees “mates” LOL) that lighting bug flashes back in a way that is seen and understood by the first firefly. Most people (as fireflies) miss the lighting-up of other people. They never see the energy to have real communication.

I had three people who recognized my lighting-up (to continue the metaphor). And each one had their own reaction to it.

The first time it happened, I was looking at the pies, yum! I had been thinking about pie earlier today, and here was an opportunity to fulfill my desire and have pie, yum! As I was looking, a woman approached me, touched my elbow and said, “resist! resist!” I looked up from my pie reverie and made direct eye-contact, in which we saw each other (do you know what I mean? If not, that’s for another day…so if you’d like more, drop me a note). In that moment of seeing, I said with complete openness, “…but I was just thinking about pie (yum!)”. She said, “resist the sugar!” but at that point, I could tell my directness and openness (my presence) had taken her a bit aback, almost startled her–most people do not respond in a way that is real or human these days. She walked away very quickly, without saying anything more. I did not get pie, by the way; there was only apple and blueberry, and I did not have a taste for either of those.

The second time, a mere moment later, I was at the cash register, and the gentleman ringing up my order said, “so what’s going on with you, what is in your life, what’s happening?” This kind of inquiry is odd, even from a TJ’s mate. I wasn’t quite sure what he was addressing, or what was on his mind…this was more than a normal check out greeting. So I told him that I was off work, loving being off work, and enjoying life! He said, “yeah–it shows, you are radiating, glowing. I’m liking the vibe”. LOLOL. Who knew!? I thought this interaction validated my other friend-mate’s observation that TJ employees are empathic.

The third exchange was on my way out the door, when I saw a familiar face who had transferred to this store, from my regular store. I stopped, touched his shoulder, greeted him with a big smile and gave him a hug. It was mere seconds. I apologized to the woman in line for interrupting her transaction, and she said, “that’s ok, my stuff will just melt”. She wasn’t joking…this was the comment she came up with observing that exchange. I decided that this too was a legitimate reaction to observing this (apparent) “radiance”. Most people don’t get it and don’t want it. Energy scares a lot of people who are not used to it, and they fall into comfortable patterns–and most people’s comfortable patterns are skeptical, “negative”, “victim”, etc. Goodness knows, I don’t always know what to do with other people’s energy, and I can be thrown “off” sometimes.

My point with all this?

Unity. Wholeness. Whether they know it or not, people can “see” or “feel” energy, and they respond to it. You are doing it right now. We are having an energy exchange. I love you! Do you see? Everything matters. All your thoughts, words, actions radiate out–whatever they are. What do you radiate? How do people respond to you? How do you respond to people?

 

What a Day! -Healing (1.4.3)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Guiding Thought

I rely on my own Loving Presence to lead and guide me toward the meaning of healing. Seeking the meaning of healing frames all my activity and gives context to all my interactions. Though I may encounter disturbances throughout my daily activity, I lay them at the feet of my own Loving Presence and continue to ask, “What is healing”? My own Loving Presence directs me as I listen in the stillness.

Reflection

All I know right now is that “healing” means keeping my commitment to healing. I don’t have any expectations, any goals, any desires for “an outcome”, anything I want to heal.

I have no need to “feel better”, no corrections that I want made, nothing to ask for.

And yet, healing does frame all my activity and gives context to all my interactions. How can this be? How can I have no thoughts or expectations about healing, and yet find it everywhere, and in everything?

I am not sure I have the answer to that question right now. I can’t explain it.

What I can tell you is that as I maintain my attention on healing, every moment is filled with gratitude. Looking back over my day, I was grateful for everything.

This gratitude was not the kind of gratitude that I had to think about; it was not as though I was taking a silent moment to intentionally give thanks for everything. It was more like a subtle joy and appreciation that permeated everything–every action, every interaction, every experience.

Let me repeat that: it permeated everything.

Looking back over my day, there was not one single moment that did not have this buzz, or hum, or vibration of joyful gratitude. I was just happy to be where I was. All day.

It is so subtle. If I hadn’t been looking for something called healing, I may have missed it.

And now I am grateful for the impetus of looking.

What a day.