On the Playing Field –Journey of Beauty 02.10.11

Guiding Thought

How do you act with Beauty? How do you bring Beauty to mundane tasks or actions? Is Beauty created, when you bring Beauty to a project? How do you embody Beauty?

Reflection / Contemplation

I am taken to a new place today with Beauty, that of agency.

By definition, at least from a philosophical perspective, agency is our ability to make choices. The term agency has been popping up in some of my recent readings over the last year or so.  It had been a very long time since I had heard this word, agency, and here it is.  I rather like it.

The last time around, with these particular Guiding Thoughts, I attended to the agency of mind with attention and intention. We make choices all the time as to where and how we direct our energies. Today’s guiding thoughts are all about getting off the sidelines of observing and receiving Beauty and into the game itself: act, bring, create, embody. All of these words are action words, words of doing.

The intersection of agency and Beauty was on my massage table today with a client. In the midst of my attention (focus) and intention (to relieve muscle tension) was my creative interaction with tissues that lay beneath my hands, but also in my engagement with another human being. For some short time within my work space I was able focus on what Beauty was in that space. I don’t think I can fully describe it just yet, but it was more than manual work, a client, payment, etc. I had a hand (literally and figuratively) in creating Beauty.

I must admit that it was only a momentary awareness of being on the playfield of Beauty today. Now, how to stay on this playfield of Beauty for a longer period, especially when there are the mundane tasks of laundry and dishes that call? I guess I will know more tonight, when I review my day.

Guest Contributor Lita Artis







Journey of Beauty is now available as a free book.
You no longer need to wait for the Guiding Thoughts to be posted here daily–you may move at your own pace. This link will take you to the document in Dropbox; you may download it from there.

I accept donations and gifts via paypal: paypal.me/SusanBillmaier Thank you for the energy exchange!

Here is the schedule:

Apr 18 Preliminary day Introduction: Why A Journey of Beauty (02.10.0)
Apr 19 Preliminary day Commitment and Dedication (02.10.00)
Apr 20 – 29 Days 01-10 Round One (02.10.01-10)
Apr 30 – May 9 Days 11-20 Round Two (02.10.11-20)
May 10 – 19 Days 21-30 Round Three (02.10.21-30)
May 20 – 29 Days 31-40 Round Four (02.10.31-40)
May 30 – June 8 Reflection days Gently care, de-fuse, and write one day of reflection on the Journey (02.10.41)

There is Only the Path that is Right for You –Journey of Courage 02.09.14

Guiding Thought

You are safe in Divine Love’s assurance. Have the courage to face the ignorance and illusions within yourself and root them out. Allow the Light of Love to enter your mind and heart. Divine Love shines within you destroying anything false, transforming you from within.

Contemplation / Reflection

Sometimes I wonder if, spiritually, I’m on “The Path” at all.  It feels like I’m operating in my own, isolated little world. I don’t attend church services. While I do meditate and recite mantras, I don’t “practice” with any sense of discipline. Often, when I read books of a spiritual nature, my eyes glaze and I find myself dozing off.  How can I consider myself a spiritual student/being at all?  Then, I find myself sitting in an airport, with “spare” time before my flight. I’m talking in earnest with a woman who, instead of reporting to the hospital for a life-altering and possibly life-threatening surgery, has opted to purchase a one-way ticket to Hawaii.  Based on what she shares, she’s courageous, scared and clearly not getting the spiritual and emotional support she craves from family and friends. In about 30 minutes we share smiles, tears, hugs and phone numbers.  Oh, and did I mention, all this time, I’m at the WRONG GATE for my flight due to a gate change?!  Sometimes, I think I’m not “doing it right”, that there’s a particular teaching or practice or ritual that’s required. Then Divine Love sits me down next to someone who needs to speak as much as I need to listen, and I feel reassured that I am, in fact, in the right place at the right time. The belief that I am not on the right path is, perhaps, the falsehood that needs to be transformed.


Guest Contributor Mary Wallace






Journey of Courage is now available as a free book.
You no longer need to wait for the Guiding Thoughts to be posted here daily–you may move at your own pace. This link will take you to the document in Dropbox; you may download it from there.

Become a Guest Contributor
If you think you might possibly like to be a guest contributor at some point for a future Journey (taking your next courageous step!), as Mary is doing now, please email me: susan@withpearls.com. We can talk. Smooth. Easy. No pressure. Just take that step and we’ll see how it goes from there.

Assurance –Journey of Courage 02.09.04

Guiding Thought

I am safe in Divine Love’s assurance. I have the courage to face the ignorance and illusions within me and root them out. I allow the Light of Love to enter my mind and heart. Divine Love shines within me destroying anything false, transforming me from within.

Contemplation / Reflection

Three years ago I went through breast cancer surgery, chemo and radiation.  My husband and a friend from Wisconsin sat in the hospital through the surgical procedure.  Several friends kept me company through each and every chemo treatment. Sometimes they would sit with me for hours just quietly holding a foot or a hand, with very little conversation. It was an amazing, almost overwhelming demonstration of “Divine Love’s assurance”. The hospital chaplain made a point of standing by my side at each chemo session, saying a special blessing for my well-being.  Another friend visited from Hawaii and accompanied me to every radiance (I prefer that term to radiation) session. He just sat in the waiting room quietly praying for my healing.  I am, indeed safe in Divine Love’s assurance.  When, through my own ignorance and illusions,  I think of myself as unloving and unlovable, when I think I am unworthy of receiving such loving support,  I need only to recall the amazing outpouring of Divine Love that surrounded and embraced me through that difficult time.  The love I received from these angelic souls brought moving tears of joy and love through me. I witness how storms, floods, fires, or an epic event like 911 bring out Divine Love’s assurance. I see how strangers in a community come together in love and support of one another.  I stand at the foot of our massive mountains, walk a beach beside the immense and powerful ocean, or sit in quiet meditation. No, I’m not perfect physically or emotionally. None of us is or we’d have no need to be here on this lovely garden planet at this time.  But the perfection of Divine Love dwells in us all and so, perhaps we are, each of us, perfect after all.  We need only the simple courage to be still and know.

Guest Contributor Mary Wallace





Journey of Courage is now available as a free book.
You no longer need to wait for the Guiding Thoughts to be posted here daily–you may move at your own pace. This link will take you to the document in Dropbox; you may download it from there.

Become a Guest Contributor
If you think you might possibly like to be a guest contributor at some point for a future Journey (taking your next courageous step!), as Mary is doing now, please email me: susan@withpearls.com. We can talk. Smooth. Easy. No pressure. Just take that step and we’ll see how it goes from there.

Get your feet wet:
Susanwithpearls has a new playspace. There is a whole ‘nother Journey of Courage happening here: https://journeys.withpearls.com/?affiliateId=bae2-0acc&discountId=172f-8ff7
This is new and different, so anything goes at this point. It would be a good time/place to test your own waters. Come in anonymously. Post a few days to the community. See how it feels. It is free, but you will have to sign up to access it.


The Voice for God -Healing (1.4.33)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Guiding Thought

I rely on my own Loving Presence to lead and guide me toward the meaning of healing. Seeking the meaning of healing frames all my activity and gives context to all my interactions. Though I may encounter disturbances throughout my daily activity, I lay them at the feet of my own Loving Presence and continue to ask, “What is healing”? My own Loving Presence directs me as I listen in the stillness.


Healing is not creating; it is reparation. The Holy Spirit promotes healing by looking beyond it to what the children of God were before healing was needed, and will be when they have been healed…The Holy Spirit is in you in a very literal sense. His is the Voice that calls you back to where you were before, and will be again. It is possible even in this world to hear only that Voice and no other. It takes effort and great willingness to learn. (A Course in Miracles, Chapter 5)

Here is what stands out to me today, both in the Guiding Thought, and in the Course in Miracles quote (which came up for me earlier today, out of the blue):

When a person seeks for healing, the seeking need not be blind, haphazard, arbitrary, or random. There are guides who know and can guide one to healing.

…but, “It takes effort and great willingness to learn”, which may be why healing seems like looking for a needle in a haystack. Most people a) don’t know where to turn for True help (one’s own Loving Presence and/or the Holy Spirit) and b) don’t want to make the effort. (Let me just note, that I am not conflating “Loving Presence” with “Holy Spirit”; however, I would assert that a person’s Loving Presence is the inner channel–a person’s personal radio-station, let’s say–to tune into the Holy Spirit.)

In other words, we don’t know what we are doing when it comes to healing. We try this, we try that; we listen to this guru, try that affirmation, take these pills, go on that retreat, buy this product, then that product, then the next product…because we don’t know what to do, so we have to try it all until “something works”. And here and there, something does work…we heal a bit, or feel a bit better, or get more energy, or relieve some pain.

This is why healing seems random and arbitrary, and sometimes is temporary. We are looking without a guide who Knows. Sure, some gurus, physicians, healers, can tap into Divine Source and give us really good information (which is then up to us to put into action); sometimes there are people who can help us connect with the Holy Spirit; but we have to find them, and in the meantime, the rest is trial and error. (See this page and this page for things that I find to “work” and that I use regularly to heal body-mind-soul…and to connect with God).

Until we go to the source of healing, the Voice of the Holy Spirit, and turn to God, we are relying on incomplete or inaccurate information; sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. God–the Holy Spirit–always works. We just have to make the effort.

With this, I now have an even better understanding for why we begin each round of this Journey with really hammering home that healing needs to be approached “forgetting” everything we think we know, with empty hands, and as a blank slate.

We have to drop everything so that there is only the Holy Spirit’s Voice.

Choose your attachments carefully -Healing (1.4.12)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

Go deep within your inner stillness, and feel Divine Mind’s presence within. Hold out your empty hands, symbolic of leaving preconceptions behind, symbolic of seeking True answers, and ask, “What is the essence of healing?” Let these words resonate within you, as though in a vast cavern.  The word essence reverberates with these thoughts, “For what do you care most deeply?” “What is your own essence?”; “What is your Truth?”; “Where is your deepest hurt, your pain, your sorrow, that all may be healed?”


Here’s what I see today:

The essence of Life is movement and change.

Sickness comes either when we try to “pluck” a thing out of its constant motion, and freeze it to make it permanent or when we attach ourselves to the things we perceive and experience.

First, the body is the “thing” we most often “freeze”. Sickness in the body arises because we have frozen thoughts or feelings that try to convince us that if we hold on to them, the body will be reliable for us as a permanent thing.

Healing the body comes in three parts. 1) Recognizing and releasing those thoughts and emotions that we have frozen in order to maintain the reliability of the body 2)  Allowing Life Itself to flow in and through the body–keeping the flow of Life energy at all times (being attuned with the constancy of change, Truly “going with the flow”) 3) Being both a participant in and an observer to the flow of Life.

Second, my essence, at its core participates in the movement and change, but from a point of stillness. Movement happens around my essence, but it does not affect that core.

You’ve heard the phrase, “we are spiritual beings having a human experience”. Just so. Our Spirit–our essence–is unchangeable, unmovable.

When we attach to Our Spirit-Self and observe from Its place of Its Truth (unchangeable, unmovable),  the perception of movement ceases, and is replaced with the experience of being Spirit.

From this, healing can be approached in these two ways: 1) Learn to observe from that point of our Spirit-Self, where we are the observer to the movement, being truly our Spirit, but having a human experience or 2) we can experience the flow, the movement, the change, but not be attached to it. As anything arises–thoughts, emotions, interactions, just let them go and move on.




Commitment and Dedication- Healing (1.4.00)

by Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls


Because I choose to be loving and gentle with myself…

Because I wish to increase my connection with the Holy Spirit, and to live and act from and with Its intelligence…

Because I want to engage passionately in life and with my work of Divine Service…

Because I want to remember my Self, and be the Joy of Being…

I commit to reading and contemplating the Guiding Thoughts for a minimum of 5 minutes each day, for 40 days, then write about my learning, my evolution, my inner thoughts.


This Journey of Healing is dedicated to you. The world and everyone in it needs so much love, healing, gentleness, and care. For this Journey, you are in my thoughts and prayers each day. Each day, I invoke the Light of Love for you on your journey, for your healing, whatever that may mean to you, in alignment with your Divine Purpose, and for the Highest Good of All.

Are you ready to start? Tomorrow we begin! 😀





Why- Healing (1.4.0)

Welcome to Journey of Healing! I am glad you are here. Are you ready to spend 40 days immersing your consciousness in thoughts of healing? 

I know 40 days sounds like a lot. And I suppose it is. But think about it: 40 days of nurturing and caring for yourself, being gentle with yourself, overlooking mistakes, giving yourself some slack (not being so hard on yourself), and generally being Truly nice to yourself, learning to be your Self. Now, doesn’t that bring about a grateful sigh? Oh yes.

To begin, the first step is to think about what this Journey means to you. Why do you want to do it? Is it about healing the body? Healing the mind? Moving body/mind into greater alignment with Soul? Whatever that is for you, take a minute to write it down.

As for me…

I was going to write a long expose about Oneness and Unity, and about how “True Healing” is really leaving behind perception, so that Oneness and Unity can be experienced beyond perception

I was going to write a bit about the need for Faith, and how the previous Journey increased my faith in Faith, and how that was brought about through some serious letting go and releasing…

I was going to write about how healing is connected to forgiveness, how the world needs SO MUCH healing and forgiveness, and it’s up to us

I was going to write about how it takes as much time and energy to invoke healing for the 7.5 billion people on the planet, as it does to invoke healing for just one’s self, or for just one other person, so, why not always invoke healing for everyone?

There was so much I was going to write about why I am doing this Journey, and what it means to me.

But then flippantly, I inserted that silly face above (which is a good representation for how I generally feel starting every Journey–a mix of “oh my God, am I insane?” and “OH YES, I am ready for this!”– and wrote a completely unplanned paragraph.

When I finished that paragraph, I knew. That’s it.

This is why I am doing Journey of Healing:

40 days of nurturing and caring for myself, being gentle with myself, overlooking mistakes, giving myself some slack (not being so hard on myself (really, I need this)), and generally being Truly nice to (and patient with) myself, learning to be my Self.

Simple. No big hopes, dreams, or goals. No pressure. No expectations. Just nurturing and caring for myself and being gentle with myself…

I really can feel a grateful sigh ripple through my whole body and being.

Whatever your reasons for spending 40 days focused on healing, I am glad you are here. I always invoke your healing, as I am doing these Journeys, so your intentions–whatever they are (given to Divine Light, for Divine Purpose, for the benefit of All) will be empowered.

We are all in this together. Every effort matters. Thank you for your contribution.


I just had to laugh: Journey of Freedom 2017–Day 25

Copyright Tam Black 2015
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

How can we live apart from God? God is indivisible. God is our Source and the Life within us. Our Oneness with All through God was established at our births, at the creation of our being. The realization of this Truth is the foundation of our freedom.


I attended a webinar today. This was the very first slide:

I just had to laugh! More specifically, I just had to laugh at myself. 

I get all caught up in the metaphysics of everything, and I forget (sometimes) the practical implications. Freedom is really a practical concept, as this slide shows:

  • Do you have good health? (If not, how free are you?)
  • Are you satisfied (If not, what are you a slave to? What are you chasing? What do you want that you don’t yet have, causing you dissatisfaction?)
  • Do you have enough money? (There is freedom in having enough money! If nothing else, there is freedom in not having to think about maneuvering, manipulating, or conserving money!)
  • Do you have enough time? (If you don’t have enough money, chances are you don’t have enough time–perhaps you spend your time trying to get more money. There is real value in having time, in letting your mind and body relax.)
  • Can you recognize opportunities? (I can tell you that probably, if you are not satisfied, if you don’t have enough money, or you don’t have enough time, you are too stressed out to be able to recognize an opportunity, because you are too busy trying to get what you don’t have.)

I get it. Thank goodness I have good health, I am satisfied, have enough money, have spare time, and can recognize opportunities!

But isn’t is funny that what I failed to recognize for the past 24 days was the very practical nature of these things for the topic of freedom? It’s ok…you can laugh at me, too.

The rest of the webinar was about growing and evolving in order to have greater stability and self-determination in health and income, in order to achieve a new level of freedom (isn’t that what this Journey is about, too?).

That’s kind of exciting to me. Prosperity and ability to make healthy decisions are incredibly important to me, and incredibly vital to a physical (combined with the metaphysical) expression of freedom. I felt very productive and motivated as a result.

If you’re curious…this is a company that promotes whole, concentrated, herbal foods based on 5,000 years of Chinese herbal medicine. If you are curious about your own health, or interested in helping other people to learn about their health, I provide an assessment tool here, and I’d be happy to talk to you (no fee…really, it’s just fun).

A “Free Your Mind” Moment: Journey of Freedom 2017–Day 17

Copyright Tam Black 2015
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

Allow your physical body to experience itself fully as Light and Love. Your physical body embodies Light; you are an expanded body of Light and Sound. Move as Light, perceive as Light, behave as Light. You are everywhere—permeating, expanding, unifying, and healing. All things are possible.


For the first time in a while, I felt that surge of energy-understanding while contemplating the Guiding Thought. It’s that wave of understanding that is beyond both words and emotions, beyond mind, beyond the body, yet experienced by both the mind and body.

In order to get to the place beyond mind though, I (paradoxically) had to engage my mind. My mind had to follow instructions: Allow your physical body to experience itself fully as Light and Love.

My mind balked a little bit, “How is my body going to experience itself fully as Light and Love—bah!”

But then my mind did what it was told and allowed my body to begin feeling.

Every moment of the contemplation from that point on went something like this:

Mind: this can’t work. The body is material, not light…

Feeling of energy surge that the mind can’t ignore.

Mind: the body can’t expand, bah!

Feeling of expansion

Mind: How does light move, anyway!? (but what if it could?)

Feeling of movement through the body.

Mind (with the energy surge still happening): The body can’t behave like light! (but what if it could?)

Mind: Maybe this is what transfiguration is about?

Mind: Maybe this is how healing happens…

Mind: What if it is possible? (while reading, “All things are possible”).

It was almost as though the mind could not contradict or deny what it was recognizing as a physical experience. It did not want to believe it; it wanted to remain skeptical and doubtful, yet there was this energy it could not explain. In the end, it had to concede…at least a little bit.

With that energy there also came confirmation that something was happening beyond the mind—like wind blowing the trees off in the distance while an observer stands where it’s perfectly calm. There is no denying that something is moving those trees, but the person just isn’t experiencing it from the vantage point where they are. But something is happening.

My mind was able to recognize and admit to something it could not explain or experience. That’s important: my mind was able to…!

I felt like this was a “free your mind” moment. The mind is trapped by its own definitions of experience. When there is an experience that defies one of its definitions, it must either rationalize it away (potentially creating internal conflicts or confusion), or re-think that definition to account for the new experience.

I am so proud of my mind–it expanded! Big day today, on a very subtle level!

Journey of Creation – Afterword

Tomorrow we begin Journey of Freedom! But first…a bit of an assessment regarding Journey of Creation.

  1. How do I feel, now that I have done an intense, 40-day study of creation?
  2. What do I think I have accomplished?
  3. What do I like about what I did / what would I change next time around?

Let’s just take these one at a time, shall we? (and I encourage you to answer these, or similar questions for yourself about your recent Journey of Creation).

  • How do I feel, now that I have done an intense, 40-day study of creation?

I definitely feel a sense of accomplishment with this Journey.

I think there may be a level of “self-fulfilling prophecy” that occurs with the Journeys, generally speaking. When I am on a Journey, I am aware that I am doing something to bring more >fill in the blank…Creation, Healing, Abundance, Fulfillment, etc.< into my life, and so I then do something which actually fulfills this.

For this Journey, the self fulfilling was a combination of Journey of Beauty, and Journey of Creation: I did things that created more beauty in my life. I painted my fence (beautiful!), made a new gate (beautiful!), painted my bathroom (beautiful!),  cleaned off my porch (beautiful!), started adding nutrient intense foods in my daily menu (health is beautiful!), loved and cultivated my (beautiful) tomatoes… For each of these, both Journey of Beauty and Journey of Creation were in the forefront of my mind.

  • What do I think I have accomplished?

I think was answered to some degree above. However, what I note above represents only the physical aspect of what I accomplished. There is always a deeper level on these Journeys (in case you hadn’t noticed).

So, what did I accomplish within myself?

On day 13, I said this:

With the first repetition, I was immediately drawn in by the double meaning of the first sentence: Choose only to create with Perfect Love. The first meaning is that I focus on my own vibration or energy, and do my best to lift myself to a vibration or energy of Perfect Love, then from that place interact with my world, designing and building with Perfect Love.

I rarely actually remember what I write, on a day-to-day basis. Despite the fact that I wrote this, it was not something I thought about beyond that day.

And yet…

In the past two weeks, you know what I have been focusing on? Lifting my vibration or energy to that of Perfect Love.

In fact, my affirmation or reminder to myself has been, “Raise my vibration. Trust God.” My responsibility is to keep my energy in a vibration of Joy, Love, Gratitude, etc. That’s sometimes all I can do. And if I do it, the best I can, then I just have to trust God with the rest. One day I received an email with some news about a situation, which I had hoped would turn out differently (“better for me”). I found myself feeling sad, questioning, doubtful, insecure, disappointed, among other things. Then my reminder popped into my head, “Raise your vibration. Trust God.” My reminder pointed out to me that I can’t say I trust God, then get disappointed when things don’t go how I want them to–that’s not trusting God. I was able to put the news aside, focus on raising my vibration (and I have to say, it was not easy; I ended up focusing on a task that took a lot of physical/mental energy, which I dedicated to the Divine), then let it go. My sad/disappointed/doubting/insecure has not returned.

  • What do I like about what I did / what would I change next time around?

I like how focused I was on this Journey.

I like that I did the self-fulfilling prophecy thing, and that I incorporated (whether intentionally or not), very physical things that corresponded with the Journey. In fact, this is something I am going to remember to strive for with every Journey.

I like that the connection between Creation and Beauty was so clear and easy. Beauty continues to remain in my awareness; I am so happy and grateful I decided to create a Journey of Beauty.

And that reminds me: Journey of Creation was created during Journey of  Creation. That is an accomplishment all on its own!

  • What would I change next time around?

Since this was the very first-ever Journey of Creation, I do think there is room for improvement, as far as how I approach it.

One thing I will change logistically, is I will have the Guiding Thoughts printed out, or otherwise easily accessible for myself (like on Kindle, or Google Play books), so that I can review them and write about them more easily before I get online to write.

I think, perhaps next time, I will have some projects in mind before I begin which will focus the Journey. However… I may not. I really like the serendipitous nature of these Journeys, when things just show up that are absolutely right, perfect, and totally aligned with the Journey, without any foresight.

Thank you all, so very much for being on your own Journey, whether or not you utilize the Journeys I provide. Your life, your mind, and your evolution are important to all of us–we’re all in this together; as one is lifted, all are lifted. You bless me, when you approach your own life with intention and striving for being a better person. Thank you.

Journey of Freedom begins tomorrow! Begin to think about what freedom means to you. In what areas of your life do you feel free? In what areas of your life would you like to experience more freedom? What is your ideal–if you could picture yourself as completely and totally free…what does that look like for you? Tomorrow, we’ll write about these things…then we’ll begin to explore your inner depths! I look forward to trekking with you.

I love you,