“Making Sense-Stew”: Journey of Purpose 2.0 – Day 27

Copyright Tam Black 2016 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2016
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

Of ourselves we are nothing, yet in union with Inner Divine Mind, through our Own Loving Presence, we are everything and have everything. As we infuse our consciousness with Knowledge of our Inner Divine Mind, our activity expresses this Union and we experience life. We breathe in this life. We smile with Joy and Gratitude, and affirm: “We LIVE.”

 

Sharing

I have something stewing. I can feel it. My inner mind is really chewing on something. I am a little reluctant to share it, though, because it’s vague and incoherent in my own head–what sense will you make of it? Of course, I have to share it now, right? Good luck with this, let me know if you can help with the sense-making.

Here are my pieces (ingredients, if you will) at this point:

  1. Faith: my crisis, as I’ve mentioned, was about faith. How do I know if I have faith? What is faith? How does faith show itself in my life? How do I know if what I am doing is doing anything? How do I know what matters? Do you ever ask yourself questions like this? I feel faithless. I feel faithless because I don’t know what faith is, how to identify it, or how it behaves in my life. My crisis had a lot to do with, “I do so much! Where is it getting me?” It feels a bit paradoxical, because of the whole, we are everything and have everything. How do I lack faith and accept that I am and have everything?
  2. Furthermore, at the time of my crisis, my dear one at home reminded me of the verse from Luke 17:“And the Lord said, ‘if ye had faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye might say unto this sycamine tree, Be thou plucked up by the root, and be thou planted in the sea; and it should obey you.’”

So, this means, of course, that I have faith less than a mustard seed, but I’m working on it.

  1. Then another Bible verse came up, this from time Matthew 21:

18 In the morning, as Jesus was returning to the city, he became hungry. 19 Seeing a fig tree by the roadside, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. He told it, “May fruit never come from you again!” And immediately the fig tree dried up. 20 When the disciples saw this, they were amazed. “How did the fig tree dry up so quickly?” they asked. 21 Jesus answered them, “I tell all of you[n] with certainty, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only will you be able to do what has been done to the fig tree, but you will also say to this mountain, ‘Be removed and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. 22 You will receive whatever you ask for in prayer, if you believe.”

Jesus was hungry, and when the fig tree didn’t have any fruit, He shriveled the fig tree, then told his disciples, “You can do this, too, and you can throw mountains into the sea, if you want. Just have faith.”

  1. Then I got confused. What is Jesus doing using the power of faith to shrivel a fig tree because he’s hungry? Isn’t that “bad” to kill the tree because it didn’t have what he wanted, when he wanted it? How is that loving and kind? Isn’t this misuse of “power”, of faith??
  2. Then the line from A Course in Miracles popped in my head, “Christ-control can take over everything that does not matter, and Christ-guidance can direct everything that does, if you so choose”. This reminded me that there are things that do not matter. There is a strain of teaching within A Course in Miracles that shows us how the mind mis-creates. In this (relative) reality, we experience these mis-creations through fear, stress, or doubt (which is all simply showing us that these experiences are not real, i.e. that they are mis-creations). The thing (form/circumstance/experience) that you have mis-created does not matter: Who you ARE is not affected by the mis-creation, you are still LOVE. Period. But the fact that you have mis-created indicates that you are not creating with your Christ-mind–and that is what God/Jesus wants us to learn. And too, vice versa: when you create with your Christ-mind, in Union with It, then the outer-effects also do not matter, because their Source is ultimately the Christ-mind.
  3. So, then I had to decide that Jesus shriveling the fig tree did not matter, because clearly, he used his Christ-mind. Right?
  4. This brought up a whole bunch of letting go, of not worrying about mis-creating. I do that a lot, you know. I “don’t want to create, because what if I do it wrong”. That’s one of my hang-ups. The example of Jesus and the fig tree tells me don’t worry about the outcome of mis-creations. Worry about using and working in union with my Christ-mind.
  5. Finally, I am not sure where/how this fits, but one morning, recently, I was doing something (I don’t even remember what it was, but it had to do with healing), and I got one of those, message/voices in my head. It was kind of chuckling at me, and it said, “you still think you’re doing something”. And there was a little bit of an “smh” with the chuckle. It was good-natured and humorous. I think it was Rafael, because from what I understand, he’s the “most sociable” Archangel. And he likes people and will interact. The message felt playful and light, and like he was just pointing it out to me… nope, not you, only God heals. Get over yourself. Get this. Learn.

And so…I learn. And, honestly, I can feel it–I am learning. I am getting it. It’s not together, the stew’s not done; it has a way to go. But…really…we are so amazing. We are everything and have everything. Get THAT in faith, and feel your Self.

“Stew and Stewing”: Journey of Purpose 2.0 – Day 24

Copyright Tam Black 2016 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2016
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

Our Inner Divine Mind is always expressing itself in all ways through our Own Loving Presence. This is its True Nature, thus this is our True Nature. We turn to our Inner Divine Mind as the Source of our happiness, purpose, and fulfillment. We allow it to flow through our Own Loving Presence and appear as all our activity, as every visible form and experience we could desire.

 

Sharing

This is one of those Journeys in which I can feel myself really figuring something out. It feels a lot like when I was writing my dissertation. There is always a part of my brain that is chewing on the problem, the question, the argument, or just how to say what I know I want to say. I call it “stewing”, which is like putting a bunch of stuff into a pot (or into the brain), and letting it all cook together for hours; eventually it’s just done, and all of the different flavors merge into a new, complete dish. I have a friend who’s a writer, who calls this process “brooding”, but it’s the same basic process: sitting with something and letting those subconscious or super-conscious parts of you work on/through it. When I am stewing, I can be mowing the lawn, doing the dishes, cleaning the bathtub, walking the dog…any activity, and I can feel the stewing; I can feel something within me working. Sometimes stewing is more productive than sitting at a keyboard with writer’s block.

I know this is about faith and belief…but I got a new piece of the picture last night: intention. I am not saying I know how it fits, I’m just saying it’s part of what I am learning.

Intention seems to be the conscious expression of faith and belief. Conscious in this matter is very important. Why do I do what I do? Why do I do these Journeys? Why do I pray? Why do I do mantra, or sit with fire, or take baths, or bless water, or do any of the things that I LOVE to do, and that I do NATURALLY?

I do these things because I don’t feel “right” if I am not doing them.

But more than that!

When I do these things, I feel loving and kind, caring and compassionate, giving and sharing–I want to make the world a better place; I want to be the kind of person I want to interact with. Even when I am alone when I do my practices I feel these things.

I do them because (and here I surprised myself when I “heard” this answer) I believe they help not just me but that they help other people. My feelings of loving kindness, caring compassion, and giving-sharing are a gift to the world…simply feeling them.

The answer to the question about why I do these things is also the answer to what my intention is. My intention is to be kind and loving, caring and compassionate; my intention is to be the best person I can be.

Somehow intention is the bridge between action and faith or belief. Intention is the conscious use of an action toward a desired end.  As I act intentionally and I consciously connect my actions with the desired outcome, my faith in using my intention toward the desired outcome increases.

 

“The Thing behind The Thing”: Journey of Purpose 2.0 – Day 23

Copyright Tam Black 2016 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2016
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

We are now fully conscious of our Own Loving Presence which seeks expression through us. Our Own Loving Presence Knows our hearts and Knows our happiness. It Knows how to fulfill our hearts and bring us joy by placing us in right situations, with right people, at right times where we may fully express our purpose. We submit our minds and hearts, all our thoughts, words, and actions to our Own Loving Presence to be lifted to our highest vision and plan for our lives.

 

Sharing

The undercurrent of this Journey is definitely faith (in a similar way that surrender has been an undercurrent). How do I trust that my Own Loving Presence Knows my heart, and Knows my happiness? How do I have faith in that? What do I do to feel faith? How do I experience faith? What is “supposed” to happen if I have faith? If nothing “happens” does that mean I don’t have faith?

Maybe undercurrent isn’t quite the right word, although there is an undercurrent of working out issues of faith in this Journey. What else could I call it, instead of “undercurrent”?

Influencing factor?

Underpinning?

The thing behind the thing?

Even if I don’t know the right name, I can describe it: For this Journey, faith is the uncertainty (funny juxtaposition there!) I am working through in order to have a better understanding of my purpose. Or: I am working on understanding my own faith, in order to believe in my purpose (or to believe that I have a purpose). It’s what I need to understand, to get through, to figure out in my own head and heart, in order to fully embrace my Divine purpose.

Then, behind understanding faith I need to understand my own belief, and behind that I need to understand patience, and behind that I need to come to terms with trust…then I need to take all of that and put it  back into Divine Truth. Here’s how it looks; you know how much I like my schematic representations:

Copyright Susan Billmaier 2016 Created for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Susan Billmaier 2016
Created for susanwithpearls.com

Who’s in charge? Divine Truth!

How do we show it? Faith and Belief!

>That’s about all the cheerleader I can muster today<

But seriously…The gold triangle represents the funnel of the Divine into us through our Loving Presence. It Knows. It Knows our hearts; it Knows our happiness. The blue boxes represent our “submission” to It; they represent our responsibility to It, so that It can bring us our highest plan for our lives.

The blue boxes are levels/layers of how I understand. Consciousness is composed of awareness, understanding, and Knowing. I am learning to understand my own faith, belief, patience, and trust in the context of my Divine Purpose. Do you see? The context brings out different elements, different facets, of how I have learned about faith, patience, belief, and trust–how I currently understand. I could also learn about faith, belief, patience, and trust in the context of my healing or acceptance or forgiveness or worthiness, and I would understand differently. Where there are stumbling blocks (or freak-outs) are the places that need to be coaxed into a higher understanding.

Once elevated to be truly One with Divine Mind, with Divine Truth, all those “behind the” concepts would become One:

Copyright Susan Billmaier 2016 Created for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Susan Billmaier 2016
Created for susanwithpearls.com