Confidence. (Purpose 1.2.34)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

My Inner Divine Mind is always expressing itself in all ways through my own Loving Presence. This is Its True Nature, thus this is my True Nature. I turn to my Inner Divine Mind as the Source of my happiness, my purpose and my fulfillment. I allow It to flow through my Own Loving Presence and appear as all my activity, as every visible form and experience I desire.

Sharing

During Journey of the Heart–which is designed to by-pass the thinking brain, and get to deeper more-subconscious communication with Self–I came up with some pretty wild designs and drawings that I could not replicate today if I tried. I was definitely in tune with that deeper part of myself, and it was flowing through me and into the pictures. But could I interpret them either then or now? Nope. Do I know what they mean, what they were expressing, what they were “saying”, or teaching? Nope.

But I could feel it. I could feel something moving within me, something shifting, changing. I’m different, but I would not be able to put it into words, or explain it, or tell you what has changed, or what about me is different.

I don’t know if those effects of that Journey has maintained momentum through this Journey, or if this Journey is having the same effect, but the feeling is the same.

I’m changing. I’m different. I just feel it. I know it. Unlike Journey of the heart, I do have some words to explain it today.

I feel more confident. I feel like I am able to trust my Self and myself more than I did 6 months ago, a year ago. This confidence feels like inner strength. I feel like I can reach into my inner strength and be supplied; I feel more accepting; I genuinely  like-love practically everybody, and I want to share this strength/confidence with them through the like-love (so I talk to them about “normal” things, but it feels like I am loving them as we talk).

Is this what the Guiding Thought is getting at?

(I think it might be)

 

Re-ordering (Purpose 1.2.32)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

My Own Loving Presence is my Self. I turn my attention inward and become aware of my Own Loving Presence. With my focused awareness, my own Loving Presence fills me, grows brighter, and grows warmer. I claim my Self with these words:

I AM My Own Loving Presence. My Loving Presence is the Self of myself. I love my Self!

I want to give my Self everything it desires–and my Self wants the same for me. What do I desire, but total Peace, Freedom, Love, and Harmony? These are the infinite and eternal qualities of my Self! I am now aware of the inner activity of my Own Loving Presence and I invite it to express itself through me and externalize in my life as circumstances, people, forms, and events that fulfill my desires.

Sharing

Lots of things in my life lately–since the beginning of 2018–have not gone “as planned”.

  • A project that I had intended to complete last month is still barely off the ground
  • I started my tax-information gathering back in November; it’s still not done
  • Weather has made in-person meetings suddenly into video-conferences
  • I put some devotional practices together, that (again weather-related) were interrupted.

I start things, they take longer to complete than expected; things come up and get in the way; things come up for other people involved, and cause delays. This seems to be happening for me in many areas.

I’ve also been a lot more non-specifically emotional these past few months. I told a friend that I felt like I was grieving for humanity. I’ll have moments of sadness and tears that have no identifiable cause. I’ll have moments of tears, and sometimes don’t even know the emotion associated with them.

A friend came over this past weekend and did a fire ceremony with me and we talked about how, during such ceremonies, people can become “a mess” and “fall apart”. When I do the fire ceremonies by myself, I fall apart regularly–tears and tears!

“Crying: the best way to wash your face”.

My friend said, “Let yourself fall apart” (“oh, I do!”); “it’s the release of ego–let it go!”

These things–things not going as planned, and tears–seem to be happening more regularly, and more frequently. I’ve been getting used to the tears for a few years now, so that’s “nothing” to me anymore. I just weep, let it out, don’t try to stop them, don’t think too hard about it, then in just a few minutes it’s over and I get on with whatever I was doing.

But the things not going as planned…that’s newer, and I’m not yet adjusted to it. I’m glad I’ve noticed it. Now, when things don’t go as planned, I can just think, “oh, here we go, this is that again” and not worry about it or think too hard.

Especially because when things don’t go as planned, they have been going just fine.

With these Journeys, we reach higher. We ask for more. We connect with the Self of ourselves, which wants to bring us everything we desire, in its highest perfected state. Sometimes that means letting go of ego, in order to receive total Peace, Freedom, Love, and Harmonysometimes that means allowing our Divine Self to literally re-order our lives in a way that brings us our deepest/highest desires.

 

 

Preparation (Purpose 1.2.22)

Happy St. Paddy’s day! My sister had a DNA test done last year, and found out that we have 11% Irish-Scotch-Welsh (we previously had no clue…). For the first time in my life, I am celebrating the day with a heartfelt affinity for my heritage!

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

Our own Loving Presence is our Self. We turn our attention inward and become aware of our own Loving Presence. With focused awareness, our own Loving Presence fills us, grows brighter, and grows warmer. We claim our Self with these words:

I AM my own Loving Presence. My Loving Presence is the Self of myself. I love my Self!

We want to give our Self everything it desires–and our Self wants the same for us. What do we desire, but total Peace, Freedom, Love, and Harmony? These are the infinite and eternal qualities of the Self! We are now aware of the inner activity of our own Loving Presence and we invite It to express Itself through us and externalize in our lives as circumstances, people, forms, and events that fulfill our desires.

Sharing

Checking in: How are you doing these days? How is life treating you? How are you treating you? Are you being gentle with yourself? Any level of self awareness and self exploration takes courage and stamina. Go easy. There’s a lot going on in the world and within you. You are doing great.

Perhaps not feeling like myself is really feeling more like my Self.

Yesterday, I wrote about the gradual process of expansion-assimilation (or acclimation)-expansion. This is how that process has looked, in a graphic:

Copyright Susan Billmaier 2016
Created for susanwithpearls.com

When the process is experienced as gradual, there is time between expansions for acclimation through baby steps. The little self has time to adjust to it’s new standing or relationship with the newly-expanded Self. When I would go through the turmoil, tension, stress, or freaking out, I knew that it was just part of the process, and eventually, the balancing and evening-out would happen naturally.

Recently, I’ve not been so sure that “gradual” applies much now. Here’s what it seems like it’s felt like for the past few months:

Notice it’s a little bit different than before. Not only are there no baby steps and no acclimation, but there is also no “freak out”; it’s just expand, notice something’s happening, expand. There is also no preparation for the next expansion.

I woke up this morning “feeling like myself”, as the saying goes. It’s not that I have noticed not feeling like myself. But this morning I woke up and it felt like a fog I didn’t know was there had lifted.

I now think it was not a fog, but the rapid expansions I’ve been going through without time to assimilate to or prepare for the new Self.

I believe I am being blessed with a currently-rare moment of time for acclimation, and assimilation. Time to feel, and know myself as this new and expanded Self.

So, you know what that means?

I better prepare. More expansion is coming!