How to Be Light -Fulfillment (1.6.10)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for

Guiding Thought

I am light. My body is light. I am free. I know my fulfillment: I feel it rise within me, expand out from me.


Do you know this feeling? Have you felt your light-body? Have you felt it rise within you, and expand out from you? Did you feel it as you were contemplating the Guiding Thought?

Can you see yourself living a higher existence? Look around yourself now. Imagine yourself, your environment, your home, your yard, everything in your awareness right now, existing in light, in a higher state of being. Don’t work too hard at it. Thinking it is enough, imagining it the best you can. You can’t do it wrong. Your intention and attention take you there, whether you “see” something or not.

Imagine how often you smile in this state. Imagine the peace you feel. Imagine the good will you have toward everyone you meet, every animal, everything.

Why worry? All is as it should be. All is well.

This exists. Go there frequently, daily, several times a day.

Soon it will come to you, and you will find yourself in the line at the grocery store smiling, looking around with love and good will, and you will know.

This is as it should be, because this is what is, this is what you are. And you will be in the world, yet not of it.

Love to you. Thank you for being here on this journey of journeys.


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  1. Hire me as your Spiritual Coach, you may sign up for a personalized Journey with me Click here for more information. Or I offer 1-on-1 spiritual coaching sessions. This is non-religion specific, and open to everyone, even atheists, though of course we would call something like “self-analysis coach” for a self-identified atheist.
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These Journeys are always available on this site at no charge. I also provide Jharra, Reiki, and Fire Ceremonies at no-charge to those who ask.

Join the Sun and Sky -Healing (1.4.29)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for
Guiding Thought

We are the Light of Love. Light saturates our minds and bodies, surrounding every thought, and radiating out to All. Everything radiates Light in return. Everywhere is Light. We rest in Peace, Being Light.


Oh happy day. Thank you, thank you for this Guiding Thought!

Enough of the muck. Enough of the heavy pants weighing me down. Everywhere is Light!

I picture this to mean both visually and weight-wise, Light like a helium balloon, floating!

I needed this today, this Lightness

I’ve been going through some “stuff” the past few days, not “bad” stuff–I’ve really felt basically fine, but there has been just the slightest dip, like driving on a country road in the wee hours of the morning, with a slight chill in the air… the sun is rising, so the sky is beautiful, and the light is beginning to shine forth… then the road takes a turn and goes down a slight incline (a depression, if you will), and in that slightly lower altitude, a fog has settled. Still driving along, the sun is still rising, even burning away the fog as the car moves through the depression, but for that moment… there’s a change in the air, the slightest bit of realizing the sun is not so warm or bright in the fog, but that it’s still up ahead. Then the road takes an upward movement, upwardly inclined, again joining the sun and sky.

With my face to the sun, the light literally saturates my mind and body.

Yes. Thank you.


Dropping Patterns, Clearing Karma -Healing (1.4.28)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for
Guiding Thought

Today we decide to be aware of our Whole and Holy Self working within us, expressing through us. As we move through the affairs of our lives, with open minds and empty hands, we look first to our Whole and Holy Self for guidance. Our only decision today is to be aware of our Whole and Holy Self—all other decisions arise out of this, in conjunction with our Self.


Remember, obstacles are part of change and change is the law of nature. If you react, then the obstacle becomes larger. If you observe, pure observation, then the obstacle passes, as quickly as it was created.

As for serious problems. Consider these problems as opportunities for growth. Change is not easy. The ego rejects change, yet change is the law, change is the real. Obstacles to the higher path are many. That is why few arrive. If obstacles are non-existent then the ego will create them. Understand? Your ego is creating obstacles. Maya creating maya.

~Haidakhan Baba

I’ve been falling apart the past couple of days. At least as far as the Journey is going–my deep introspection, and working out my stuff.

I’ve been thinking a lot about karma lately, because I have been experiencing stuff that does not have an immediate cause. It’s just kind of coming up. 

I’ve had a lot of really good reminders to keep me on track, though. First (obviously), the Guiding Thoughts. I’ve been pretty focused to day on my Whole/Holy Self, so that has been keeping my feet on the path, and preventing my mind from straying (my mind has done a lot of straying over the past 48 hours).

Second, a friend of mine was describing another friend, who has been on the path of the Higher Self for about 40 years (about 15 years longer than I have). This person, apparently is able to just shift out of an emotional pattern/habit in a second. She is, literally, able to simply drop whatever the pattern/habit is that comes up for her, and walk away from it. wow.

I often think about people who are “further along” than I am, and I admire what they are able to do, that I can’t yet do. I feel very inspired, because I know how far I’ve come in 25 years. Looking to them assures me that I will go even further in the next 25 years. This work compounds, after all. Once you have the momentum, just a tiny effort keeps that momentum, and you can use more energy to clearing away even more and more.

Clearing away. Oh, yeah! That’s the point I wanted to make about karma. Karma gets cleared away. It really does. There are actual things a person can do to evaporate karma. I’ve sort of known this for a while– doing bathing, breathing, fasting, praying, mantra…all that stuff does it. But finally, I think, I’ve gotten to a point where I’ve done so much (and added more) stuff that is clearing, that I can feel (and see) it moving out. This is still new, but it’s an actual experience, something I can watch as I am going through it and releasing it. And I gotta tell you, it’s really cool. Now I want to dive in to this as an experiment and see what more I can do to have tangible experiences of clearing karma. Stay tuned…

Third, the above quote by Haidakhan Baba was a wake-up reminder, especially the last line: Your ego is creating obstacles. Maya creating maya. I knew this at one point, it seems like a long, long time ago. I remember specifically having a conversation with my dear BuddhaBrad who said this exact thing to me, in Buddha terms. It was basically, “The mind does not like things to be easy. The mind likes to struggle. So, when things are going along smoothly, the mind says, ‘wait a minute…something’s wrong; this is too easy. I need to jump in here and perceive a problem somewhere just so I can be comfortable again'”.

This goes right along with the karma thing. While releasing some karma, we also create it. All action has a re-action. That is basically the law of karma. Being free of karma means No action. But as long as we have a body, and are not transcended beings, we are acting, and creating re-actions. This means mentally, emotionally, physically.

This is why it’s in our best interest a) to take “good”, “positive” actions, so that the re-action is “good”, “positive”. b) Do the best we can to observe actions as they happen, rather than re-acting. When we simply observe, we break the pattern. Think of actions as a ping-pong being hit back and forth across a table. We are the players, the ball, and the observer. If we become only the observer, and stop being at least one of the players, the ball stops going back and forth.



Re-ordering (Purpose 1.2.32)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for

Guiding Thought

My Own Loving Presence is my Self. I turn my attention inward and become aware of my Own Loving Presence. With my focused awareness, my own Loving Presence fills me, grows brighter, and grows warmer. I claim my Self with these words:

I AM My Own Loving Presence. My Loving Presence is the Self of myself. I love my Self!

I want to give my Self everything it desires–and my Self wants the same for me. What do I desire, but total Peace, Freedom, Love, and Harmony? These are the infinite and eternal qualities of my Self! I am now aware of the inner activity of my Own Loving Presence and I invite it to express itself through me and externalize in my life as circumstances, people, forms, and events that fulfill my desires.


Lots of things in my life lately–since the beginning of 2018–have not gone “as planned”.

  • A project that I had intended to complete last month is still barely off the ground
  • I started my tax-information gathering back in November; it’s still not done
  • Weather has made in-person meetings suddenly into video-conferences
  • I put some devotional practices together, that (again weather-related) were interrupted.

I start things, they take longer to complete than expected; things come up and get in the way; things come up for other people involved, and cause delays. This seems to be happening for me in many areas.

I’ve also been a lot more non-specifically emotional these past few months. I told a friend that I felt like I was grieving for humanity. I’ll have moments of sadness and tears that have no identifiable cause. I’ll have moments of tears, and sometimes don’t even know the emotion associated with them.

A friend came over this past weekend and did a fire ceremony with me and we talked about how, during such ceremonies, people can become “a mess” and “fall apart”. When I do the fire ceremonies by myself, I fall apart regularly–tears and tears!

“Crying: the best way to wash your face”.

My friend said, “Let yourself fall apart” (“oh, I do!”); “it’s the release of ego–let it go!”

These things–things not going as planned, and tears–seem to be happening more regularly, and more frequently. I’ve been getting used to the tears for a few years now, so that’s “nothing” to me anymore. I just weep, let it out, don’t try to stop them, don’t think too hard about it, then in just a few minutes it’s over and I get on with whatever I was doing.

But the things not going as planned…that’s newer, and I’m not yet adjusted to it. I’m glad I’ve noticed it. Now, when things don’t go as planned, I can just think, “oh, here we go, this is that again” and not worry about it or think too hard.

Especially because when things don’t go as planned, they have been going just fine.

With these Journeys, we reach higher. We ask for more. We connect with the Self of ourselves, which wants to bring us everything we desire, in its highest perfected state. Sometimes that means letting go of ego, in order to receive total Peace, Freedom, Love, and Harmonysometimes that means allowing our Divine Self to literally re-order our lives in a way that brings us our deepest/highest desires.



Journey of Abundance – Day 01

Guiding Thought

Divine Love-Light is the Source of All. It is all good, all God. This Source is always seeking expression through me. My awareness of my personal identity as this Source provides me with infinite fulfillment and prosperity.


I almost feel like I have a split personality at the moment. I drove to work in an hour of morning traffic, dealt with 8 hours of being on the job, drove home, also in heavy traffic; then when I got home I lit a fire in my back yard fire pit and began the Journey.

Hearing the birds, feeling the sun, watching the wind in the trees, allowing the fire to drain me of the responsibilities of the day, it’s hard to believe that I spend so much time barraged by such superficial, meaningless activity for 8-10 hours of my day at work. I should say, rather, “superficial and meaningless” relative to these quiet moments in touch with something deeper.

The time “on the job” is me, just as this is me…but the distance between the two feels wide. Here, now, all that (the job), seems surreal.

It took me several moments, several readings of the Guiding Thought to even begin to feel it. And when I did, I understood with new clarity: “This is all I want. This is all I seek.”

I seek the quiet moments in communion with God, with my Self, with nature. That is enough. I am enough.

I understand why monks live in silence or in caves. I understand why some choose renunciation. There are so many distractions in the world!

Yet…Divine Love-Light is the Source of All—it is all good, all God. That job-life is as much a part of Divine activity as sitting with the fire.

Or… is it?

I say over and over that these journeys are intended to bring the spiritual to the material… but that does not mean that I am bound to, or imprisoned and at the mercy of a relatively superficial, meaningless material world. That cannot be.

Equally, these Journeys are intended to bring the material to the spiritual. There are higher ways to live and be in the world, ways that lift material experience into Divine Love-Light.

I just really “got this” in a new way. You see, I work really hard at the first aspect, doing my darndest to embody the qualities of love, compassion, kindness, etc.—bringing the spiritual to the material. But it is also about lifting the material up. Instead of just thinking/feeling that I have to simply endure the material with spiritual qualities, it is also my responsibility to change the material so that it is more congruent with the spiritual.

I see this on a cultural scale too. There are greater movements toward ethical business, human rights, planetary, and animal justice. As a species, we are learning to make our material conditions better for all.

If I were to picture my ”split personality” that I described above, I would say that the two “personalities” are beginning to unite, to find the place where the Truth of my Self, my union and communion with God resounds in my life activity, and my life activity is the easy and natural expression of that union.

"I would say that the two “personalities” are beginning to unite...and my life activity is the easy and natural expression of that union. " -Susan Billmaier Ph,D.
“I would say that the two “personalities” are beginning to unite…and my life activity is the easy and natural expression of that union. “
– Susan Billmaier Ph.D.

Welcome to day one! I am glad you are here.


Each day, you will find the new day’s Journey here, and through Twitter (@susanwithpearls) and Facebook (susanwithpearls).