“Here I Am… “: Journey of Purpose 2.0 – Day 40

Copyright Tam Black 2016 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2016
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

The world awaits my expression!  I am here to align with my purpose, participate with life, and share my Self. With each moment I spend cultivating My Own Loving Presence to be attuned with my Inner Divine Mind’s expression, the more I encounter the Perfect Spiritual Idea in my life activities. I choose to be aware! I choose to understand! I choose to know! I choose Life.



I think memories of some of my past lives are surfacing. The memories are not in my head, they are more like feelings in my body, beneath the surface; feelings that are vague and amorphous, yet are so familiar, but also not anything I can identify from this life.

They are feelings of being an initiate–someone on the path of learning to become a spiritual master. They are telling me of an ancient time, in a temple or even a pyramid. They are telling me of a time when it took an entire lifetime to advance one small step.

I’ve been here before. I’ve been on this path so many times. I’ve worked lifetime after lifetime to learn and advance myself spiritually, for the benefit of all. It’s all so familiar, waiting, not-knowing, the need for patience with the prerequisite of submitting to the process. There is melancholy and sadness, there is resignation underpinned by determination, there is quiet and stillness, and there are slow, deliberate movements; this is what I feel-sense-remember.

Here we are on the last day of the Journey and I have no answers, only melancholic “memories” guiding me. But I do feel a calm resignation to the process, with an intuitive acceptance of this is it. The Journey is the purpose; the process is the purpose.

It’s so familiar; I’ve done this before in so many ways, I can do it again…I am doing it again.

I spent so much of this Journey trying to see the expression of my purpose in my life activities, like the Guiding Thought says. On this Journey, I never (even now) felt like I could identify it “out there”, in my life activities (and of course, I know better than to look for it “out there…”). I’ve felt like there’s something wrong, that it should be different, that I should be different. Aren’t I supposed to see results?? Isn’t that what the Guiding Thought is saying, that stuff is supposed to show up in my outer world that is in alignment with my spiritual progress?? What am I supposed to see? What is supposed to show up? (That’s me from this lifetime–impatient, wanting it now, aggravated; I have lessons I am still working through!)

But no. This is exactly it. I am exactly where I should be. This feels right. Even having no answers at the end of the Journey, it’s right. I feel so certain that no answer is somehow an answer; I just have to continue; the continuing matters. I am here to be deliberate, to be determined, to be steadfast, no matter what. The process is the purpose.

What if I were to spend this lifetime taking only one small step, experiencing nothing more than resigned determination?

That would be a lifetime well spent.


***Journey of Worth begins April 15! Take the next two weeks to really be gentle with yourself (I know I am going to). Do it consciously. Treat yourself well! Appreciate yourself! Feed yourself good food…“Worth” can be a difficult Journey–who values themselves enough? This is one aspect I’ve worked on for a long time, and I have a long way to go. And, I am looking forward to it! Stay tuned in the next week or so for the debriefing of Journey of Purpose, then we’ll be ready and raring to go for Worth!