Yours in the Work -Healing (1.4.26)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Guiding Thought

As we unite in consciousness with our own Loving Presence, we unite with Divine Mind. Divine Mind is Infinite Being—it is now, here, always. We exist in Divine Mind, as It does in us, united forever—One. It leads us to Itself through our consciousness of our Self: our consciousness of Self, as Infinite Being, is Oneness with Divine Mind, is our Peace, is our wholeness, is our Unity with All.

Reflection

I feel like something is wrong with me.

Even just acknowledging that is difficult.

It’s just one area of my life. It has to do with accomplishment: what I thinkshould be doing vs. what I am doing.

There are several projects that I am working on. I think that I should be giving priority to (let’s just call it) project A, but I spend a whole lot of time on project C (or B or D…), which means I don’t “get around to” working on project A.

It’s not that I am lazy, or unproductive. I’m just being productive on something other than project A, that is less meaningful (or so I think).

Project A has been on my plate a long time and has lots of components and things to work on, things to work out. It’s both a bit complicated and time consuming…neither of which is generally prohibitive for me. I like working out complex ideas, and I don’t mind taking the time to do so. In fact, project B is also complicated and time consuming…So, why now, are these factors a point of resistance for project A?

I just can’t seem to get my sh** together to  work on project A. I have no motivation. I have no investment. I can’t see the purpose, the long-term. I wonder, “if I do project A, is that not just feeding and rewarding my lower-self, my ego?” Then that becomes prohibitive.

Yet on the other hand…project A is incredibly important in a big picture kind of way. So I wonder, “am I afraid of the impact? am I afraid of how big this is? am I afraid of success? of failure?”

I honestly don’t know.

The other day, I wrote about alignment. Project A was on my mind during that writing. Something is out of alignment. Or so I think. Maybe I just think something is out of alignment, and in reality everything is exactly as it should be.

That describes my entire mental conflict: “I think something is going on, and I feel wrong“….”but maybe it’s not what I think”. And I don’t know which it is. 

If something is going on and there is a reason that I feel wrong…then all I need to do is take the steps in the direction of feeling right, which means (pretty simply) working on project A.

And if things are exactly as they should be, then I should just relax. I’ve let this get too far. My mind spins. …and now I feel like something is wrong.

OK. All of this is context for the point I really want to make. There are two big ideas at play and these ideas are relevant to the project A situation and to this Journey. They are:

  1. Thought is creative
  2. What you seek you find

(1) Thought is creative both in imaginative (future) content (what informs your mind to work out as “reality”) and in attitude (how you approach content as it comes to you). This is why the daily Guiding Thoughts matter. They give imaginative content that your mind can then align with (create) in your experience, and they offer a framework through which to interpret experiences you are already having. The ultimate goal is to have congruence between the vision and the reality, so that the content you imagine is the content you experience.

Thus, it has concerned me that I have a new thought popping up recently that says, “something is wrong with me”. That is not content I want to either imagine or experience.

(2) What we seek on the Journeys, generally speaking, is Unity, Oneness, Peace through seeking the Truth of our Selves. We can find it precisely because Unity, Oneness, and Peace are the Truth of who we are. Again, this is a role of the Guiding Thoughts–they point you toward the direction that the You of you already knows exists, and It knows you are looking for It, so once you give five minutes a day to looking for It, It can help you find It so much faster and easier. The Journeys guide you to the only real direction there is, and in doing so make it easier for you to both seek and find the Truth of You.

But when someone has thoughts like, “what is wrong with me?” Guess what? A part of that creative mind takes that literally, and starts looking for what is wrong. And make no mistake…if you look for something –whether you mean to or not– you will find it.

And this is why I’ve shared this with you. This project A situation directly opposes the goal of the Journeys on these two points…and I need to change. I need to figure this out. I need get aligned, become congruent, root out the “wrongs”, do whatever it takes to free myself of these thought patterns, the inconsistency, the whatever this is.

Thanks for being here,

Thanks for your support,

Yours in the work,

swp

 

 

Leveling Off –Worth (1.3.8)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

I am worth the effort it requires to move my mind into Love. I am worth the time of waiting, in patience, for Knowing to arrive. Every moment, every second that I open to simply being willing for Love to enter is a moment offered to Eternity; a moment offered to healing, a moment offered to Unity.

Love simply settles slowly, quietly, gently, beyond sense-perception. So I must wait in patience and take the effort to move my mind to join the quiet stillness of Love. Here I rest. Here is Peace. Here is all I want and need.

Reflection

I had a bit of a breakthrough today.

Three weeks ago today, I decided to really work at changing my thoughts around a particular situation. I could recognize the thoughts that were perpetuating that situation, and could feel when I would think those thoughts that I would begin a slow descent into territory I did not want to be in–the territory of anger, hoplessness, despair, grief. So I made a commitment to change those thoughts, whenever I recognized them as they came up.

Here are some of the thoughts that were the downward spiral (which I call “distortions”):

  • “I have no respect for you”
  • “You don’t know what you’re doing”
  • “You make bad decisions”
  • “No one likes you”
  • “You’re not worthy of this”
  • “You’re controlling and manipulative”

It’s hard to tell if I was having distorted thoughts about myself, or someone else, isn’t it? That’s one of the points of a really good reason to change thoughts like this. Even if they are directed toward someone else, they are also really about you (or me, in this case).

Here are the thoughts I decided to change these to:

  • “I am willing to look upon the light and be saved”
  • “Grievance is not my will; I will there be light”
  • The prayer to the Holy Spirit, that I mentioned in the Afterword to Journey of Purpose.

Over the past three weeks, as my thoughts have turned downward and I have felt any inkling of the above thoughts, I have quickly recognized them, and thought “I will there be light”, or any or all of the above thoughts to keep my mind in the light.

Stress and duress cause the brain to go into a sort of shell-shock. Under stress, it’s hard to think; it’s hard to remember the choices that I’ve made regarding changing my thoughts. But in this regard, there is a lesson in, those movies where James Bond, or the like, are under torture-stress, and they can keep their head about them. It’s all in the training. In this sense, what I’ve been doing for the past three weeks has been to train my brain to respond to a certain stress in a certain way.

I had a test today. I was confronted head-on with the stimulant to those downward thoughts, and they flared up and up, dragging me down, and down…that is, until my training kicked in, until I realized what I was doing (spiraling downward), and that this was exactly the situation that I had been in training to overcome.

I started changing my thoughts. “I will there be light. I will there be light. I will there be light”. “Grievance is not my will. Grievance is not my will…” “I am my I AM presence and I am One with the I AM presence of all humanity” (I’ve been working with this thought a lot, too, just not specifically regarding this situation).

And I succeeded. I changed my thoughts, and my perception shifted. I can’t say that I could feel a difference; I don’t know what, if anything, I accomplished on the spiritual level. But I know it was a success that in the moment of stress, in the moment of confrontation, I was able to pull myself out of a certain downward spiral, and at least level off.