Crappity crap crap crap. -Healing (1.4.23)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for
Guiding Thought

We rely on our own Loving Presence to lead and guide us toward the meaning of healing. Seeking the meaning of healing frames all our activity and gives context to all our interactions. Though we may encounter disturbances throughout our daily activity, we lay them at the feet of our own Loving Presence and continue to ask, “What is healing”? Our own Loving Presence directs us as we listen in the stillness.


Cleansing. Purging. Clearing. Letting go. Shifting. Transmuting.

Seeking the meaning of healing frames all our activity and gives context to all our interactions is currently very very true for me.

It seems everything recently is coming up for healing. Anxiety. Trust-issues. Faith-issues. Feeling betrayed issues. Anger at myself for a particular passivity in my past. Feeling responsible, and thinking of times when I was irresponsible. Unworthy stuff. “What am I supposed to do” stuff. Anger at others for not living up to my expectations (even after I lowered my expectations). Fear of disappointment that someone else will not live up to my expectations. Inadequacy. Feeling like “I’m not doing it right”…and more!

I said to Tam earlier today, after urgently insisting that something had to be done now“I’ve got a stick up my ass today and I don’t know why”. It’s important to be able to communicate to some degree about the crap going on, so that there is no mis-communication or risk of mis-perception. I sort of knew why I was in a funk…read the above paragraph. But that was too much to deal with and have a stick up my ass. Fortunately, Tam and I understand each other when these things happen (whew).

feel like I’ve been letting go of a lot of unseen/unknown energies. Maybe karma. Maybe energetic stuff that has been trapped in my energy body. Maybe Ancestral stuff–I just re-posted an article on ancestral healing –whoa, I hadn’t even thought of that, until the article crossed my path…but it makes so much sense (and now I really want to do these meditations). Maybe just crap that has been hiding in deeper nooks and crannies.

Whatever you think in all levels of mind will determine all the various energies you draw into your systems and bodies. The darkness in your unknown mind still draws darkness to you. Therefore go into all the darknesses of your minds and release and transform it all into its inherent Light, Color, Sound, and Love. Then only will you be blessed with Internal Peace, Happiness, and ever-expanding stability. ~Joseph Barry Martin

It’s up to me to find those darknesses and clear them. It’s up to me to want to heal more deeply…and more deeply…and more deeply…until there is no more darkness.

Part of how I think about healing is exactly about A) the interconnectedness of All, and B) that there are deeper and deeper layers (nooks and crannies) to heal.

I am never healing just myself. Nothing that comes up is ever “just mine”. Everything everyone does is connected to All. Leigh says it really well in the ancestral healing article:

In a big wave of realization I felt the clearing I’ve been doing reaching down through the ancestral lines and then flowing back to heal people I don’t even know but am related to in the present…In the notion of one big web of energy, these family ties show how deeply we really are connected.  So imagine working on clearing your ancestral lineages of fear and negative beliefs and then that your clearing is energetically impacting millions of others.  Imagine a whole bunch of us doing this clearing can help to heal fear for millions upon millions of people.

We’ve got our work cut out for us. Thank you for the healing work that you contribute to All. I have so much love and appreciation for you, out there, on this path, on your own path, doing the work. ❤


Remedying a Cleansing Reaction: Journey of Peace 2017– Day 02

Copyright Tam Black 2017
for susanwithpearls

Guiding Thought

Knowing myself as Peace fortifies my inner awareness of the unity within. Through gratitude for the Life I Am, I connect with harmony. Through harmony, I am restored and strengthened, and am thus able to carry my Inner Peace to all of life’s activity surrounding me.


First, let me say, that even though I have been doing these Journeys for several years, and a lot of the early doubt, skepticism, and fear don’t show up so much, I still feel the effects of my own resistance to expanding my consciousness.

It’s like a cleansing reaction: when toxic stuff has come in (to the body/mind/emotions), when those toxins are released, they cause toxic symptoms. Even though the toxins are releasing, it can look/feel like dis-ease. It is a skill of awareness of your own body/mind/emotions to know if your response (mental/physical/emotional) is one of release, or of a toxin digging in deeper.

I had a toxic release last night. I felt non-specific panic, anxiety, and fear, about nothing in particular. I know it was a release, and not a digging in deeper, because a) I am pretty self aware b) I’ve been doing the Journeys long enough that I know they “trigger” my stuff c) it was non-specific and about nothing in particular. All I could think was, “Yup, the Journey has begun”.

This is also a sign of growing pains, so I consider it very beneficial. Essentially, what happens is these Guiding Thoughts challenge the lower mind, and ask it to consider new ideas, new concepts…maybe even grow, and evolve. The lower mind can feel attacked with these new ideas; it can feel inadequate or unsafe: what if I’m not good enough? What if these new ideas take over? What if I disappear, die? 

The lower mind responds through these fears, which for me came out as non-specific panic, anxiety, and fear.

Recognition, awareness, and patience to get through it without being pulled into the feelings are key:

  • If you think you are having a cleansing reaction, breathe (having someone who loves you to tell you “breathe!” really helps).
  • Observe the feelings: where do you experience a corresponding discomfort in your body? Ask yourself specifically, “What is this?” Name it, if you can; that takes some of it’s power away. “I feel trapped.” “I feel threatened.” “I feel disconnected.”
  • Ask yourself what other feelings are related to this feeling. Often, feelings act in layers. For example, feeling betrayed is often connected to feeling let down, not-heard, bitter, seething, etc. Uncover as many of those as you can.
  • Ask yourself, “Where did this come from?” Go back as far as you can, even to the very, very first time you ever felt the feeling you are feeling–even into your childhood. This, too, takes some of the power away: this may be my past, not my present. If it is my past, it does not exist now.
  • Remind yourself of the truth of who you are: I am not this feeling. I am perfect, whole, and complete. This feeling passes through me; I can watch it flow in and out. I experience this feeling, but I do not need to identify with it. Love and only Love is the Truth of who I am.
  • Then, love your feeling. Transform the feeling into harmony with Love (see yesterday’s Guiding Thought). Eventually, the feeling will harmonize with your Love, and you will be restored and strengthened, and you will come full circle to Know your inner Peace.