The Love you ARE–Journey of Gratitude 2017, day 21

Welcome to Round 3! How are you doing? Still with me? –The other day I walked up to a counter and said a very standard, “Hello, how are you?” to the woman at the computer. She said, “I woke up this morning; it’s a great day.” With that standard American greeting, I thought, “That’s it!” Be grateful for life. It’s that simple. Be grateful for LIFE! –We change things up again for this round. If you’re new here, see this page, under “Four Rounds” to see what’s going on.


Copyright Tam Black 2015 Designed for
Copyright Tam Black 2015
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Guiding Thought

We remember our Self and recognize the Love within, the Love we Are. We see this Love as all we are and all there is, the reality of you, the reality of we, and the reality that is the Life of All. We honor this Love and this Life, and offer our gratitude for Its Being. What Joy there is in Being!


You know what I just realized? This Guiding Thought picks up at the previous Guiding Thought. Or, at least, they are integrated.

Love is always with you. We remember our Self and recognize the Love within, the Love we Are.

If we are Love, of course Love is always with us!

Focus your whole Self on being entirely with Love. We see this Love as all we are and all there is, the reality of you, the reality of we, and the reality that is the Life of All.

Your whole self, entirely with Love… is all you are, all there is, the reality of you, the reality of Life!

I came upon this understanding, because I was a fixated yesterday on the last line of yesterday’s Thought: Being with Love, as Love is with you. I thought about it all night, working on trying to feel how to be with Love, as Love is with me.

and I repeat: If we are Love, then Love is always with us.

Then, why does it seem hard? If I AM LOVE, why does it feel like I have to work at being with Love as Love is with me? Does that make any sense?

Isn’t that the point? I Shouldn’t have to work at it, if I AM LOVE.

That must be what I am learning… and more!


Sweet Honey says it best– Journey of Gratitude 2017, day 08

“God is so ordinary, no one notices”. I love that quote. I strive to be an ordinary expression of Highest Love. “I am nothing, and everything”.  I want to be nothing……. and everything. I can’t be everything unless I am willing to be nothing.


Copyright Tam Black 2015 Designed for
Copyright Tam Black 2015
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Guiding Thought

I seek only to Love in Unity. Love is Pure in Oneness. Let me Love All, including myself, in Oneness, that I may Know gratitude as the result of Being Whole in Love.


I have a role and a purpose, whatever it is. We all do, of course.

Everyone is necessary, just as we are. We all contribute something different and unique, just as we are.

Yet, we are Unified, as different and unique as we are. It’s the combination of all of us that is the Oneness. Love unifies.

As One Breath, One Voice, One Heartbeat, and One Energy, Vibration, and Consciousness of Pure Divine Love I proceed. 

We all, everyone of us…have to come home, as we are, as who we are.


“Closer I am”: Journey of Fulfillment 2.0 – Day 37

Copyright Tam Black 2014 Designed for
Copyright Tam Black 2014
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Guiding Thought

My joy unifies! Accepting my own joy—acknowledging it, sharing it, and expressing it—heals myself and others. To be wholly joyful means to be wholly love…means to be wholly my Self.


What do you love? What brings you joy? What is it that you need to accept within yourself that will allow you to express that quality/characteristic that brings you joy? Or are you doing it already? What is unique and original within you? What do you do with that?  Who are you?

In a way, today’s Guiding Thought is really about honesty. It’s about being deeply, truly, honestly your Self. It’s about releasing anything that prevents you from expressing your Self. It’s about the simple pleasure of knowing who you are (acknowledging), and sharing that part of you that only you contribute to the whole.

How close are you? How close are you to your Self? How much Truth do you tell yourself? How much Truth do you live?

For me, it feels like I have spent a lifetime uncovering, discovering, and striving to live as my real Self (that’s probably because I have…).   It started when I was around 9, with Plato’s quote of the Oracle at Delphi, “Know Thyself”. It progressed to Shakespeare’ s “This above all, to thine own self be true, and it must follow as the night the day, thou canst then not be false to any man.” One of my favorite books as a pre-teen was The Real Me by Betty Miles; in college I studied identity politics, authenticity, and alienation (among other things); after college I (basically, for all intents and purposes) “dropped out” of society to “find myself” (I know, it’s cliché, but that’s what I did—it worked!).

And here I am, doing Journeys, which I LOVE, which are unique to me, which I share, which bring me great joy.

And still I feel like I have so far to go, so much to learn about myself, so much to discover, so much to share.

The bucket is never full. Every drop matters, but the bucket is never full. There is always more to do! More to learn! More to share! Despite how far I go, how far I feel I have come, I look ahead and see how far I have yet to go.

Even though this might sound a bit defeatist, it’s not! It’s inspiring! It’s motivating!

To experience your Self as infinite, take an inner- step in every direction! How long will that take? FOREVER. Is it worth it? Absolutely.

“What is Fulfillment? Part II”: Journey of Fulfillment 2.0 – Day 14

Copyright Tam Black 2014 Designed for
Copyright Tam Black 2014
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Guiding Thought

Your Self wills only to extend itself. Extending, sharing, creating as Divine Love, through Divine Mind, is your sole purpose. Your Self knows its fullness in Divine Love and wills only to liberate you to fulfill your purpose and release your Joy.


Please take a look at yesterday’s post, as the precursor to today.

Here is the idea I am working with today: How do we find the form of fulfillment that is the perfect expression of Divine Love? How do we live in such a way that is the perfect expression of Divine Love? And how do we know that we live in just such a way?

This is where I get hung up, sometimes…Am I doing what best expresses Divine Love, and how do I know?

This, to me, represents the classic age-old question of spiritual versus material dichotomy, which basically says you can be either spiritual and deny the material, or you can be material, which inherently denies the spiritual. (I am not saying this is actually the case; I am saying this is a long-standing formulation of it.)

In other words, If I am spiritual, doing the work of Divine Love, living through Divine Will, how do I incorporate the need/want for material goods? Aren’t material goals counter to spirituality? And if I put aside material goals, in order to live a spiritual life, does that mean I will be poor and destitute?

Sometimes I think I’ve had way too many lives as a monk in the woods, or in a cave to be able to understand it being OK to have, need, and use material things to live.

If I were a monk in a cave, it would be easy: deny the material things. Be spiritual. No conflict. No problem. Rely on God. Be fulfilled.

But I live in 21st century American Society. I have to figure out what it means to be fulfilled in Love while being surrounded by materialism, how to use money and material goods but not be “consumed” by them, to be in the world, yet not of it, to contribute to the world fully in a way that really matters. You know what I mean?

I feel conflict with this. How do I want anything (material goods, money, etc.) without betraying my essence? What is the balance between material achievement and spiritual work? How can I create my life so that it can still be devoted to God, while living in a material society? How do I balance the time that I need to work to make money with the time I want to devote to God for spiritual practices?

I am working this out. It feels big. It feels like I have been working on this one thing for a long time. Thanks for being my sounding board. I look forward, already, to What is Fulfillment, Part III.


“Silence is a Luxury”: Journey of Fulfillment 2.0 – Day 08

Copyright Tam Black 2014 Designed for
Copyright Tam Black 2014
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Guiding Thought

My motivation is my choice. My intention is my choice. My will is my choice. In Peace, I listen within for guidance so that my actions are motivated by joy, my intentions are love, and my will is simply to share Joy and Love.


When I first sat down to do this today and read through the Guiding Thought, I thought, “What the hell does this even mean?” I had to walk away, literally, and come back to it. Now I am back and I understand.

The purpose of meditation, or any spiritual practice, is to enter the joy and bliss of the Divine, to connect with your Self of Love, and to re-align yourself with your True Center.

Most often, meditation and spiritual practices are done is silence. In silence there are no distractions, except of your own mind; in silence it’s easier to listen, to hear the voice within.

Encountering the world adds distractions, adds noise that drowns the voice within, adds people and conversations and sense-stimuli that detracts from connecting with the Self of Love, which tramples on the bliss found within the silence.

Why do I meditate and do spiritual practices? To connect with my Self of Love, to re-align with my True Center.  My motivation is my choice. My intention is my choice. My will is my choice. I do the practices with the motivation of connecting with my Self, with the intention of connecting with my Self, and with the will to do so. This is my choice.

But here’s the thing: I have to love the peace that I find when I meditate enough to want to bring it into my daily activity. I have to love my Self enough to want to bring it into daily activity. I have to want to remain in the state of joy and bliss so much that the world cannot pull it from me.

I must take my motivation, my intention, and my choice this extra step. Thus, I meditate to connect with my Self, to experience the Divine and to bring that into all my daily activityThis is my choice.

Yeah. I have a way to go for that, how about you? But I am working on it. And now, I am even more aware of a deeper level of motivation, intention, and will.

I want to live as my highest Self, in love, peace, and joy. Meditation and spiritual practices gets me there, it’s up to me to choose to carry the experience from meditation into the world.

“There’s a Reason for this Sunshine Day”: Journey of Abundance 2.0 – Day 16

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Copyright Tam Black 2016
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Guiding Thought

Increasing your thoughts of Love and your attitude of service dispels all fear of lack and limitation. As you serve more people with Love, money and wealth flow abundantly to you. Use money and wealth with Love and Wisdom to create a life you love through your highest vision.


There’s something to be said for having a heat index of 106 and no air conditioning–iced tea, cold packs from the freezer, and nothing, absolutely nothing, urgent enough for me to sweat over (literally and figuratively). This has been a weekend when it has been okay to do nothing, except enjoy doing nothing.

I’ve forgotten how relaxing it is, when my brain agrees with doing nothing, and I am not always thinking, “I need to do this…then I need to do that.” This is what giving myself permission to relax feels like.

Part of relaxing entailed spending a good bit of time with my inner child, coloring the Guiding Thought. My brain was fine with relaxing, I didn’t want to engage it, if I didn’t have to.

What struck me while coloring is that there is a balance between serving (i.e. doing) and allowing. There is not a direct connection between these in the Guiding Thought, but I think it’s inherent that if you serve more people with Love, you then must allow the flow to come to you. If you don’t allow it, the flow is there, you’ve just shut the gates.

I was surprised that my picture today depicts every line of the Guiding Thought. My Love is increasing…I am serving more people (doing work that I love, I might add), all of which exists in a natural flow of wealth and abundance (the green/blue wavy lines), then I stroll along happily, creating a life according to my highest vision.

Remember, if you are coloring, it is not about the accuracy of the drawing, the preciseness of your images, getting all the details correct, or any of those things your adult brain might be telling you. It’s about playfully communicating with you inner-child, your Spirit, your sub-conscious, your most sincere, honest depth of YOU. Your Inner Self knows what you need an want. Let it communicate with you in this open, playful, fun way. Just let yourself flow.



Feel the flow:

“Peace be with you”: Journey of Abundance 2.0 – Day 15

Copyright Tam Black 2016 Designed for
Copyright Tam Black 2016
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Guiding Thought

Your Inner Divine Love Presence Knows what you need or desire before you do. It is constantly providing you with ideas, material goods, situations, and interactions to fulfill all your needs and desires. Relax! and allow the Presence Within to supply you with everything you need.


Today was a day for relaxing! A day for trust! A day for feeling good! A day for joy and satisfaction and simply being. I hope you have had a peaceful, relaxing day full of that natural communication with Self/Spirit, which simply carries you buoyantly through your day, through your life.

As you know, there are ways to communicate with Self/Spirit that are not verbal or mental. I have been so relaxed and in the peace of the moment all day that I wanted to continue it through the doing of the Journey—contemplation (thinking) would have taken me out of the flow.

Since I have the option of communicating with Self/Spirit through my coloring, I chose that today.

In my picture, I am relaxed with all my needs fulfilled. I am in a beautiful place, surrounded by beauty, with the perfect head/back rest, showered with sunlight. I am so thankful for this. I feel so much gratitude for all my needs being met, for feeling so at peace, so comfortable, surrounded by beauty…all I can do is thank God, thank Spirit, thank Self/soul/the Divine/the ALL that IS that surrounds me and contributes to my being. The blue from my heart is this thankfulness. I can’t tell you how calm and peaceful and right it all feels.

I wish for you an amazing, peaceful, trusting, relaxing day. If you didn’t have one as I did today, I wish it for you right now, or tomorrow, or when it is right and perfect for you (every day!!). Peace be with you, now and always.


“Let Love Do What Love Does”: Journey of Healing 2.0 – Day 22

Copyright Tam Black 2016 Designed for
Copyright Tam Black 2016
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Guiding Thought

We go deep within our inner stillness, and feel Divine Mind’s presence within. We hold out our empty hands, symbolic of leaving preconceptions behind; symbolic of seeking True answers, and ask, “What is the essence of healing?” These words resonate within us, as though in a vast cavern.  The word essence reverberates with these thoughts, “For what do we care most deeply?”; “What is our  essence?”; “What is our Truth?”; “Where is our deepest hurt, pain, and sorrow, that all may be healed?”


I questioned myself today. For just a moment, I thought, “what if I am the sneaky/guilty/plotting person that that person thinks I am?” It took just a second to shake my confidence, to rattle my cage, to make me question myself. I haven’t quite recovered.

Yet, in that moment, I also saw an opportunity for healing.

At this point in my life, I know in my heart, in my mind that I am a good person. I am kind. I am loving. I care; I give care. I am generous. I want to be truly helpful, and I truly want to do and be what is best for All. It took a long time for me to really accept myself this way. But now, I know, and most of the time I don’t pay attention when people project or blame or call me names.

But today it got to me. Today, I saw darkness within, where someone else was projecting their darkness. Instead of my light of knowledge burning through their misrepresentation, I saw the darkness. It was momentary, fleeting, but it was there, and in that moment I could not breathe. The projection was not real, nor was the darkness.

Darkness simply needs to know itself as what it truly is: light and love–it just doesn’t know any better than to live as darkness.

I haven’t quite recovered. But I am healing.

The darkness that I saw in that fleeting moment is a place within myself that needs my love, a place that is vulnerable, a place that is insecure, uncertain, and weak. It does not trust Love, so it tries to take control. That very control is what makes it insecure, uncertain, and weak. If it would just let Love do what Love does, it would know itself as the greatest power in, through, and above the earth! But no, it wants its own way, even when its own way is the very thing that makes it weak and vulnerable.

I picture this darkness scared, curled up in a corner, shielding its face, trying to hide while being utterly exposed. How can I not feel sorry for it? Have some compassion for it? It looks neglected, dirty, uncared for, but most of all frightened. Darkness does not need blame or condemnation; it needs my love and understanding.

I know this image is answering this question: “Where is our deepest hurt, pain, and sorrow, that all may be healed?” I may not know the specifics of this pain, but I am being shown something deep within that needs healing.

I am able to say to it: “For what do we care most deeply?”; “What is our essence?”; “What is our Truth?” Because it is me, I am it, we are One. If I am to discover what I care for, or what my essence is, or what my Truth is, this dirty frightened darkness is part of the answer. All parts must be unified, all hurts exposed and brought to light. I must love all of myself, lift all of myself.

A Journey of Fulfillment: Afterword

I use terms like “simmering” and “stewing” a lot when referring to my thinking process. To me, they thoroughly sum up what is going on in my head: in cooking, simmering and stewing take items and cook them down, condensing them, allowing the flavors to blend, so that the final product is full of complexity and nuances of combinations of flavors integrated together. The finished dish is more than each individual ingredient, the flavors contributing separately, but coming together to form something completely different.

40-day Consciousness Journeys work in a similar way on my consciousness. There is input (each of the guiding thoughts), that has an individual impact or “flavor”, which then interacts with all of the other input. When simmered, they mix together to achieve a nuanced complexity that is absent from the individual pieces and only present after some time of co-mingling.

This is why I wait at least a week before trying to put it all together. And even now, I don’t think I am done cooking.

I’m not kidding about the subtleties and nuances, either. More than anything, I just feel different. More than any other Journey, so far, I feel like this one has worked mostly within my subconscious and energetic bodies—those areas that are just below the surface, where I can sense a shift and change, but not put words or identifiers to it.

If I had to guess, I would say the shift has grown out of the whole conversation with myself on day 16 in which I realized I needed to relax.

Relax. As in: let go, stop trying to control, predict, designate, pre-conceive. Relax. As in: Have faith, feel your higher purpose, work with your Self, rather than with yourself. Relax. As in: Trust. Trust what is; trust love; trust that the infinite intelligence at work from the microcosm to the macrocosm supports the perfection of my little life.

I have had some astounding realizations and interactions this past week—all a product of relaxing (as I have interpreted them).

First, I had a conversation with friend in which I said these words (which I had not pre-thought), “It’s about the Law of Attraction…but most people conceive the Law of Attraction to be, ‘I want THIS; manifest NOW!’ Instead, I want not to pre-determine what the ‘this’ is—I want to attract whatever is, whatever is highest, whatever divine is and simply allow THAT to manifest.”

Then, while doing some online research, I found a book and some mantras that I had never come across before. I started listening to the mantras right away, intending to just let them seep in slowly. One just blasted me, though. It says,

“As with all things in the Universes,

True Joy can only come from Deep Self-Realization;

Awareness and Love of the Other

Can only come from Deep reflective Self-Love.

And the Essence of All Living

Comes when one lets go of one’s life, needs, goals, and path.”

That last line was like a bugle waking me up, saying: “You need to just forget about what you think your path is. You don’t know.” In addition, the second line resonated with the beginning of what I had written at the beginning of the Journey: I intended True Joy, the Joy that is beyond the physical/mental/emotional, a Joy that is real and everlasting. I felt like this book and these mantras were helping me to shift into what I really want. I felt assured I was on the right path (whatever that is).

Then, while doing Si va na ta, I realized I do not do anything for the sake of itself. Nothing is “an end unto itself.” In other words, everything I do means something in addition to what it is. I don’t just do stuff. Everything has a meaning, a purpose that I bring to it, usually with full awareness. In fact, I try to bring as much as I can to every action; I bring as many layers as I can—mental (japa/mantra), emotional (awareness), physical (the action whatever it may be), spiritual (tuning in to the energy). I tried (yesterday) to just do stuff without bringing meaning and purpose to it. I tried just doing the dishes for the sake of doing the dishes, rather than as an act of service; I tried painting without having mantras running through my head; I tried interacting with people without bringing caring, giving, sharing to the interaction.

My day felt all wrong, I felt impatient, frustrated… until I let myself be myself again, until I relaxed into my Self.  It was what I have talked about before, about needing to compare/contrast actions and attitudes to see what works, what feels right, and then making a new choice—for me, making a choice for evolving into something better.

When I let myself be my Self again, that is, when I chose to allow myself to be caring, giving, sharing, involved, attentive, loving, etc. I again got a “message of re-assurance” (although, I do not know if there was a direct cause-effect relationship here).

A stranger, who I just started talking with, talked about the history of Christianity and about reading scripture in the original Greek and Hebrew. He said, “When you read it in its original language, you have to throw out everything American Christianity teaches.” I found out he is working on his Master’s Degree in History of Religions; he talked about how one little grammatical mark can change an entire meaning, and many translations did not take that into account, and therefore were faulty translations. He talked about Jesus preaching against the Pharisees and the Sadducees; he talked about trusting God, walking in Faith, knowing he was always exactly where he needed to be.

Out of the blue, this wonderful conversation happened. It was an interaction of connection, sharing, expanding, growth, and enthusiasm for being in the Divine Flow. And it was a message for me to trust, to have faith, to be open to Love, to continue to follow the voice that only my third ear hears.

In the past week, all of the ingredients of my Fulfillment Stew condensed into a few interactions and realizations. Trust my Divine Self. Trust that I am on the right path. Meet life with Love, openness, trust, listening, and acceptance. And most of all, relax.

The stew is in the pot. I think it still needs to simmer…for months, perhaps years. But when it’s done, it will be oh so Filling!




Waking Up to Life (Again and Again). A Journey of Fulfillment: Day 40

Copyright Tam Black 2014 Designed for
Copyright Tam Black 2014
Designed for

I am light. My body is light. I am free. I know my fulfillment: I feel it rise within me, expand out from me.



I was thinking about the metaphor of waking up as it applies to spiritual consciousness, this morning as I was waking up in my physical body.

We all know what it means to wake from sleep. We can talk about waking up in terms of being “jolted awake,” about being “rudely awakened,” about being “half awake (or half asleep),” or “barely awake.”

We know what it feels like to wake up well-rested or wake up restlessly.

Some of us wake up slowly, and barely feel alert after 24 ounces of our favorite caffeinated beverage; sometimes we bounce out of bed, rejuvenated with no other inducement than the joy of life.

Sometimes we wake up, but want to go right back to sleep. Sometimes we lie there in a half-dream state, neither asleep nor awake for lengths of time.

Sometimes we are awakened by someone else, a noise outside, by an alarm, a pet, a bug, by being too cold, being too hot, having a pain in our shoulder or hip, by having too many worries.

Sometimes we just wake up with no stimulus, no apparent reason.

But the point is…unless we are dead, we ultimately wake up. So too, it is, with our spiritual consciousness. All of the language applied to a physical waking up can be applied to the waking up of spiritual consciousness.

Everyone is just waking up, and doing it in different ways, at different speeds, with different methods, different prompts, agitators, stimuli—some internal and invited, some external and unwelcome.

I like to think that every stimulus enters into our consciousness for the purpose of our inner awakening and ultimately for the awakening of All into spiritual consciousness—a consciousness of Love and Unity.

Sometimes a spiritual prompt can come as a jolt (like a near death experience) or an unexpected (perhaps unwelcome) surprise (an illness, the loss of a job, an unexpected pregnancy). Sometimes they are slow and steady, like relationships—especially relationships with parents and family. Sometimes they are aspects of experience that ebb and flow, like learning how to be responsible with money, learning to take care of another person, learning about health and well-being.

We do not, however, experience life in nice, neat little compartments. It’s not like I leave my health and well-being while I take care of money, nor am I suddenly out of a relationship just because I have entered the office where I work. Every moment, ALL aspects of life experience are with us. We may experience circumstances in linear time, but in our minds, everything is there every moment—the house, the relationships, the parents, the money, the health; those things don’t just go away when we are someplace else.

Similarly, spiritual consciousness does not just go away after I have done my little contemplation/meditation.

Waking up means bringing the meditation—the feeling of Fulfillment—into life experiences. Expanding spiritual consciousness is very practical. It means maintaining an attitude of Love, Peace, and Unity (or Forgiveness and Healing, where I am not yet awakened to Love, Peace, and Unity) into relationships, situations, and circumstances. It means being aware of the effects of my thoughts on situations that are not immediately happening (they don’t just go away). It means bringing an attitude of awakening to every situation, allowing it to work on me, to give me the gift of waking me up—even if it is a rude awakening.

I am at the end of this 40-day Journey, and I feel like I am only just now waking up. That’s what happens sometimes. Each 40-day Journey lifts me, but then it’s up to me to integrate the effects. With each integration, I start anew, waking up a little bit more…then I start over.

Thank you for joining me. I’ll be taking about a 7 day break while I do some thinking/integrating, and will be publishing some final thoughts on the journey in about a week. Feel free to email me or comment with your discoveries, insights, or experiences on this journey. I’d love to hear from you.

May you be Joyfully Fulfilled while you continue to awaken!