Infinite Steps to Peel the Onion -Abundance (1.5.31)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

You’ve made it to Round 4, congratulations!

We are back to using “I” as the subject of the Guiding Thoughts. If you are new to the Journeys, please see this page for information about how and why the rounds change.

Guiding Thought

Divine Love-Light is the Source of All. It is all good, all God. This Source is always seeking expression through me. My awareness of my personal identity as this Source provides me with infinite fulfillment and prosperity.

Sharing

Layers. You’ve heard about this right? …Spiritual growth is like peeling back the layers of an onion: once you get through one layer, it reveals the next layer, then the next layer, then the next, deeper and deeper. Or, maybe…

Spiritual growth is like peeling back the layers of an onion: because you may cry a lot.

Just a bit of humor there. I cry a lot…you gotta have some sense of humor about this stuff.

This is a direction that is inward…which is how I’ve always thought about the onion-analogy. You need “peel” and get through the surface-layers, before you can “peel” the layers underneath and dig deeply into core “issues” (or layers)… Here’s an example from my own life:

When I was a young adult, testing and trying relationships, I was not at all able to communicate my feelings. When someone asked me “how do you feel?”, I froze. I totally shut down. I remember in those youthful relationship experiments, this came up consistently. I would be asked “how do you feel”–and I am sure it came from a loving, caring place, but it felt like I was being asked a question which bombarded me with so much confusion and turmoil that I had no choice but to turn off.  It wasn’t like I meant to; it wasn’t like I was saying to myself, “time to cut this person off now!” My body/mind literally could not move or get past that question.

That was the very surface layer: having virtually no awareness why this was happening, not being able to do anything about it, and not understanding why it was happening.

The next layer was a small bit of self-awareness that if instead  of being asked “how do you feel?”, someone asked, “do you feel…>fill in the blank<?” I was able to acknowledge with “yes” or “no”. I still could not speak (still shut down), but at least I could identify that  I was feeling something, and what it was. This was tedious, but it was better than the previous scenario.

The third layer was, when I was in my mid-twenties, I began doing hard-core emotional work. It was the behavioral barometer that finally moved me into being able to a) self-identify a feeling and b) say the words.

Image result for behavioral barometer

Very briefly: on the right hand side of the barometer are words that correspond with emotional states. There is a process by which to link an emotional state with certain neurological patterns, which “lock” a person in that state, then release those patterns, freeing the mind/body/emotions from being locked.

The fourth layer was, after much Barometer work, I identified a specific situation when I was about 8 years old, in which I felt “unheard”, and in that moment, the pattern that got locked was, “if I’m not heard anyway, I’m just not going to talk”.  After releasing that pattern, I was able to learn to communicate my feelings–and that began peeling even further layers and releasing more emotional “stuckness”.

But that final release of that pattern, in recognizing its source, also did something else: it opened me up to positive growth. Now, I was not only continuing to peel back layers of deeper emotional stuckness, but I was also learning to express myself (the first positive layer), which opened the door to feeling heard and loved (the second positive layer), which opened the door to having more intimacy in relationships (the third positive layer), which opened up the door to even more love and intimacy.

This is how I see it:

If you would know infinity, take a step in every direction. ~ Goethe

There are infinite layers to infinite steps, all of which bring us one step closer to knowing the Source of All. The more steps we take, the more stuckness we can peel back, the more positive steps we can take forward, until we indeed are expressing Infinity through us, as our experience of fulfillment and prosperity.

What is Before You? -Abundance (1.5.19)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

Divine Abundance expresses infinitely through your own Divine Presence. When you identify with your Divine Presence, you open the floodgates and Divine Abundance flows naturally, easily, and effortlessly through you, materializing all good in your life and affairs.

Sharing

How can I have this if I don’t have that?

How can I be happy if I don’t have the man of my dreams?

How can he be the man of my dreams if he doesn’t have the sense of humor I’m looking for?

How can I be successful if I don’t have the title I want?

How can I be successful if I don’t have the house and car I’d always planned on?

How can I love myself when I don’t have the body I want?

Too often, there are pre-requisites that have been set up in our minds–criteria, if you will–that we have determined in advance are the signifiers to our happiness, our success, our self-esteem.

“I won’t be happy until this happens, that happens, and then this”.

We are always pursuing these criteria. We are not actually pursuing happiness or success or love. We are pursuing the things that we have decided are the cues (signifiers) for our happiness, success, and love.

So we miss happiness or success or love when it does not fall within our parameters.

How much are we missing!?

It’s the same with Divine Abundance. Divine Abundance is always providing us with everything we need. But we have our own criteria for what “we need”, which may or may not match up with Divine Abundance’s idea of what we need.

If anything in our experience does not match up with what we think we need, we miss it when Divine Abundance overflows for us.

It’s up to us to recognize all the good in our lives–whether that is happiness, success, self-esteem, love, or Divine Abundance.

 

Any suggestions? -Abundance (1.5.16)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

Increasing your thoughts of Love and your attitude of service dispels all fear of lack and limitation. As you serve more people with Love, money and wealth flow abundantly to you. Use money and wealth with Love and Wisdom to create a life you love through your highest vision.

Sharing

So far on this Journey, I’ve been really geared toward Love and Grace as the only real abundance that matters (see days 8 and 9).

And I believe this, really I do.

Here’s where it gets difficult for me, personally: Money pays my living expenses. Without money, I encounter a lot of discomfort in my living situation–my eating situation, in my bill-paying situation, in my shelter/clothing/transportation situation.

So, until I evolve to a point where I can materialize anything I need in a moment, I need money.

Herein lies some inner-tension for me: I am not sure how to charge money for spiritual services. These Journeys are spiritual services; they are a tool to increase spiritual awareness, to increase personal connection with the Inner Divine, and to deepen one’s relationship with your higher self. These Journeys are all laid out for you, so you can take them yourself, or just follow along (not as effective though!). I’ve made a commitment to keep the Journeys on this site free and available.

The focus of the Guiding Thought is all True, all right on, Love and an attitude of service open one to abundance; serving more people opens the flow of abundance; using money with Love and Wisdom to create a life of Love only increases abundance. There’s nothing not right about any of that.

still have a disconnect, though. To be fair, I’ve been working on this disconnect for a long…long time. In some ways all I want to do is live a non-material life–a life of Spirit. I feel like that is my true-self, my reality. Being a physical human being in some ways makes no sense to me, I don’t understand it, I care about it only to the extent that I can be spiritual in my physical form.

These Journeys have helped me a lot with that too, by the way. I have a way of really bringing the spiritual into the material on a daily basis, consistently. I can relax and just do the Journeys, and know that I am bringing the spiritual into the material…and that’s all I need to do.

I’m hoping to work out this “problem” for myself. I am hoping soon to bridge the gap between my love of service and the material usefulness of money.

Any suggestions? Does anyone else feel this tension I’m describing?

Direct Relationship -Abundance (1.5.14)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

Divine Love is infinite. Therefore, your Source and Supply are infinite. As you increase your consciousness of your Inner Divine-Love Presence as your Source and your Supply, money, wealth, and prosperity increase in your life experience.  Use that money, wealth, and prosperity to fully express your Inner Divine-Love Presence.

Sharing

This is one way I have conceived of abundance–as a merry-go-round of how abundance increases with the increase of love, service, and loving creation:

Graphic made for susanwithpearls.com
Susan Billmaier “Journey of Abundance” 2015
use only by permission

This graphic definitely captures the essential nature of all aspects of abundance, which work together to create a revolving flow: first, we must maintain loving thoughts, then serve people from that place of love; as we serve more people, money flows to us, which we then must use to support what is loving in our lives, and what increases our loving thoughts.

I feel like there is another way to conceive this flow, which arises out of today’s Guiding Thought: 

This second graphic emphasizes the relationship between Divine Love and My Inner Divine-Love Presence. That relationship is the only thing emphasized in this graphic, because in this conception, this relationship is the only thing that matters.

It’s the “seek ye first” graphic. If 100% of a person’s time, energy, attention, will, drive, focus is on Divine Love, then what will be returned (the “flow” returned), will be Love, and will strengthen and build that person’s Inner Divine-Love Presence.

You might be asking, “what about abundance…where does the money come in, where does the flow of money happen in this second graphic”?

That is the beauty in the simplicity of this second graphic. When a person focuses on Divine Love, money, wealth, prosperity take on the form of whatever is needed at the time to increase Divine Love’s Presence. This means that as a person focuses on Divine Love, everything, every moment is a tool that Divine Love uses to increase Itself in that person’s life.

A person’s consciousness is how they actually use that Divine Love–this is the way their own consciousness conceives of Divine Love. When that person uses money to increase Divine Love, that person will see a greater flow of money. If that person uses friendship to increase Divine Love, that person will see an increase in friendships. If a person recognizes Divine Love through service opportunities, they will experience more service opportunities. How each person uses the Divine Love that flows to them is how Divine Love will appear as form.

This second graphic also–very subtly–emphasizes faith and trust. Without needing to think about money, or wealth, or abundance, this second graphic presumes the return of the Divine Love, in a form that can be utilized. There is no need to think (worry) about money. Have faith that a relationship with Divine Love will bring all goodness, support, nourishment, fulfillment.

 

I Am Becoming -Abundance (1.5.13)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

Fill your mind and heart with Love, and align with the Light of Truth. Be Steadfast and focused on your own Loving Presence; live in the peace of fulfillment of your own Divine Identity.

Sharing

I wonder what’s next for me?

I wonder this on many levels.

  • What’s next for my personal growth? I’ve been going through some personal growth (inter-relational stuff) for the past 6 years, that all has been very difficult; but I think I am through it, finally–and so much the better for it! What’s next!?
  • What’s next for my spiritual progress? My spiritual advancement has grown it seems by leaps and bounds in the past two years–first my mundan, then my 40-days of fire ceremony to the Divine Mother, now another 40-days of fire ceremony to Haidakhan Babaji and the Divine Mother; I recognize myself as spiritually fulfilled–which only began after the mundan. And I am now recognizing that fulfillment in others more and more.
  • What’s next for my service projects?  What’s next for my abundance growth?  My service projects are bringing me a different kind of fulfillment–and I think they are leading me toward my next abundance growth-spurt. So much of my wondering, doubting, thinking about “when will this happen” has just dropped away–it’s no longer in my mind.
  • What’s next for my healing? I am on a really good track with my healing; I’ve been eating kitchari almost daily, and my body has been very appreciative.
  • What’s next for my learning?  I’ve come to a bit of a lull with my learning (learning fire ceremonies took a lot!), but I am anxious to see what captures my fancy next.
  • What’s next for my Love? One of my most beloved pets died about 18 months ago; then another died about a year after that. There was a void that I was not ready to fill. Then, over the summer, the Universe decided to fill it for me: a kitten was abandoned in my garage. It took about 5 weeks for him to trust me enough for me to pet him, but now (8 weeks after he first showed up), he is in the house as family. What new Love will this little guy teach me?

I am wondering these things, because I’ve already come so far. Part of the wondering is “what could be better than this”? “If I’ve gotten here, how much more amazing can I have in my life”?

I now live, most of the time, in the space of always having my mind and heart filled with Love, aligned with the Light of Truth. I falter now and again–like earlier today, when I was tired and hungry, and felt cranky…but it rarely lasts very long.

I feel like I can see through the mud of material reality. I can see (or sense) the spiritual reality that enlivens everything, that exists as everything, that calls to everyone and lifts us up to Itself.

Be steadfast and focused on your own Loving Presence; live in the peace of fulfillment of your own Divine Identity. It happens. I’m here to tell you. Stay steady, seek ye first the Kingdom, and all will be added unto you.

I’ve not arrived; I am becoming. And it’s getting really fun to watch.

 

Everything Fulfilled in a Moment. -Healing (1.4.39)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Guiding Thought

I am the Light of Love. Light saturates my mind and body, surrounding every thought, and radiating out to All. Everything radiates Light in return. Everywhere is Light. I rest in Peace, Being Light.

Reflection

Recently, I’ve been falling asleep while listening to a meditation. Part of the meditation is, “I am ready to receive Divine Love”. I wake up feeling very calm, rested, refreshed, full of peace. What are the chances there is a correlation between the meditation and how I feel when I wake up? Pretty good, I think.

It’s not a far stretch for me to read the Guiding Thought and believe it. I can feel the Light saturating my mind and body, radiating out to all. I can sense everything radiating Light in return. In this moment, reading the Guiding Thought, I feel the same way I described about when I wake up.

After I wake up, it takes a couple of hours for the feeling to wear off (give or take, depending on how quickly life pulls me out of that State). The Guiding Thought has the same effect–temporary. At least temporary for now.

The more a person becomes accustomed to feeling good–feeling what it feels like in the arms of Love, resting in Peace– the more they want it, the more they seek it, the more they find it, the more they want it… it’s a cycle of expansion of Love.

Sure, the feeling wears off (for now). But in the moment, it’s like knowing what it feels like to not need to seek or desire something, because in that moment, it’s not just something that is fulfilled…it’s everything.

And since in Truth everything is fulfilled…the cycle of expansion of Love is just leading us to the Truth of Love.

***

Om Puurnnamadah Puurnnamidam Puurnnaat Purnnamudacyate
Puurnnasya Puurnnamadaaya Puurnnamevavashissyate
Om Shaantih Shaantih Shaantih ||

OmThat (Outer World) is Purna (Full with Divine Consciousness); This (Inner World) is also Purna (Full with Divine Consciousness); From Purna comes Purna (From the Fullness of Divine Consciousness the World is manifested)
Taking Purna from PurnaPurna Indeed Remains (Because Divine Consciousness is Non-Dual and Infinite).

Om PeacePeacePeace.

At the Feet of the Father -Healing (1.4.32)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Guiding Thought

I go deep within my inner stillness, and feel Divine Mind’s presence within me. I hold out my empty hands, symbolic of leaving preconceptions behind, symbolic of seeking True answers, and I ask, “What is the essence of healing?” These words resonate within me, as though in a vast cavern.  The word essence reverberates with these thoughts, “For what do I care most deeply?”; “What is my own essence?”; “What is my Truth?”; “Where is my deepest hurt, my pain, my sorrow, that all may be healed?”

Reflection

Round four is here; the Journey is coming together! If you’ve been following along, you may see it. But hopefully you are paying more attention to your own Journey, your own connections, and your own progress than you are to my process.

Let me lay it out for you, so you can get back to thinking about how the Journey is coming together for you.

I would say that day 22 began the coalescence. It was that day that I went into my heart (Dicrysahe), and asked questions from a deeper, more focused place. Asking questions with the heart is like laser-beam energy going right to the “heart of the matter”. The insights come with the same kind of focused energy; all of a sudden, there is an answer that just makes sense.

After that, there were six days of being in this “healing fog”: unassociated stuff coming up, going out, clearing up, moving through. The fog is not what I would call fun, but it also was not deeply dramatic or intense. It was more like watching a bad movie–I just kind of sat through it, being aware of not really enjoying myself, but getting through it. And at least I had the Journey, as well as some signposts to clue me in to what was going on, so that I could have some understanding sprinkled in.

Then just three days ago, the fog lifted. Apparently enough stuff had cleared out and it was time for the next step (or layer or something).

Two days ago I wrote about being broken, rebuilding, and the strength that comes from that process.

Yesterday, I associated being broken with letting go of all the stuff that inhibits a person from following Divine Will–and that when we allow ourselves to be rebuilt in such a way that we align with Divine Will, we step into the Truth of our Selves, which is Whole, Holy, Healthy.

Yesterday, I wrote this, “But, each time I arrive at the feet of my Father, I give up more of my lower-self”

And we arrive at today…

This morning, as I was waking up, I found myself at the feet of my Father–there’s this place I “go to” in my mind, where I meet with Him; usually I have to think about it, and imagine it; this time, I was just there, without thinking, in Dicrysahe. I was laying everything at his feet, and I realized for the first time (one of those, “how did I miss this?” moments) that I have more “worldly cares” than I realized. It was like one of those magic tricks, where the magician just keeps pulling things out of a bag: “oh, and there’s this” and “oh, and here is that”…I pulled out everything–health stuff, financial stuff, job stuff, projects stuff, family stuff, worries and cares, worries and cares. And I just said, “I don’t know what to do with all this, so I am giving it to you (and literally laid it at His feet). Please take it, and use it however you need to, to benefit All. Only You can do this; only You can orchestrate how this will be used for a Loving purpose”.

Several hours later, as I was doing the dishes, I felt (again Dicrysahe) this: “Know everything is what it is supposed to be; all is going as intended; have faith“.

Did I get a True answer? Maybe.

At least for me, now, the answer to “What is the essence of healing?” is: have faith.

And I can say that I have current answers for the next questions as well (following from the past 10 days):

“For what do I care most deeply?” Truth, my relationship with God, Divine Will

“What is my own essence?” Peace, stillness

“What is my Truth?” My heart, my relationship with God.

“Where is my deepest hurt, my pain, my sorrow, that all may be healed?” Find it, lay it at the feet of the Father, be free!