AscensionChange (Purpose 1.2.28)

Copyright Tam Black 2016
Designed for

Guiding Thought

Today we erase all we think we know of the Inner Divine Mind. We are changing. We are changed. All is new. With a blank slate of pure luminescence, we wait, simply feeling the inner glow.


We want this! We invite this! We welcome this!

We allow ourselves to change, to become more attuned to our Self, more aligned with our Self, and more congruent with our Highest Purpose. As we wait and watch, our Highest Purpose appears as activity, as people, and circumstances. We breathe, we smile, and we live.


Whenever I have done this Guiding Thought before, I have thought of it in the context of emotional change and transformation, like sorting through lower emotions, and transmuting them into higher emotions with love or forgiveness.

Today, I feel like the change and transformation is physical.

Since day 17, concepts like healing, resurrection, transfiguration, miracles have been seeping their flavor into my mental stew.

I choose to believe that Jesus resurrected. The hypothesis that I think is most correct is that he was able to bring so much Divine Light and Love into and through his body that he could heal, walk on water, command elements, raise the dead, and raise himself from the dead (aka resurrect or ascend).

Jesus was not, however, the first person in the bible to ascend. Elijah also ascended. We have more than one model for “ways to do it”.

I also choose to believe Jesus’ words, “all of this, and more than this, shall you also do”. I’ve believed this since I was a kid, and I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to achieve it. After all, I don’t want to be the one to make Jesus into a liar, ya know?

I’m not there yet. but–and now we come back to the relevance of this in relation to the Guiding Thought–today I physically felt the pure luminescence and the inner glow. I felt it. I felt the light anchoring itself in my physical body.

I also felt attuned to and aligned with my Self.

There are some days when, in meditation, I get into that zone where what I am meditating on/with becomes the Reality of me. It’s like I become my Self, while I am also myself…but myself can now see how much it is really more my Self, and myself has an identity shift that endures past the meditation.

Also, I feel the light, the energy, as my body. I could see/feel the energy shifting/changing my cells, my muscles, even my DNA.

I do want this! invite this! welcome this!  It’s so much more fun than emotional change.

Journey of Creation–Why Journey of Creation

Here we go again! Are you ready? 40 days of committed seeking, asking, and finding! Let’s go.

Today we begin Journey of Creation. Take this time to think and feel about what the word creation means to you, and why you might like to learn more about creation in your own life. Think about what you think it is, as well as what you think it is not. Think about times in your life when you have created something (or someone, for those of you who have biological children). Creation may apply to situations, relationships, or interactions, not just things. What do you have in your life right now that you have created for yourself? What other thoughts come to mind? Let me know, I am interested in hearing your perspective. Do this exercise yourself, before you read my thoughts on the matter!

Why a Journey of Creation

There are two big reasons I am doing Journey of Creation, and several little reasons.

The first big reason is this: I want to get better at intentional creation. I want to be aware of what it takes to think about something, move toward it, and see actual results of receiving it in my life. I want to understand my role in the creation process. I want to become more confident in knowing how my thoughts/actions produce results.

I have done this. I am a pretty good creator, actually. I want to get better. Here are three examples of “things” I have intentionally created for myself:

  1. In 1985-86 I spent a year as an exchange student in Denmark. Before I left, I did everything I could for a 17 year old in rural Ohio (pre-computer age) to learn about the culture, the people, and the language. I was determined to immerse myself fully in the culture. My goal, which I was very conscious of, was: “I want to be Danish; I want to be indistinguishable from a native Dane”. After about 8 months I would find myself in conversation (in Danish) with someone, and in the course of the discussion, they would figure out I was not from Denmark and would say, “Wait, what? You’re not Danish”? Goal accomplished.
  2. In 1991 I spent the summer working for the USDA Forest Service, building trails in the Sierra National Forest. At the end of the season, after more hiking than I had ever done in my life, I twisted my knee and could barely walk. I was very thankful this happened at the end of the season. I was determined to heal my knee over the winter, so that I could go back to work the next summer. I spent almost every day of the winter-season giving my knee Reiki, and thinking about the hikes I would take, and riding my mountain bike. I went back and hiked and rode my ass off…in addition to working! Best summer ever.
  3. In 2003 I went back to school for a PhD. Why? Because I wanted a PhD., simple as that. I jumped through the mandatory hoops, got myself past my qualifying exams, chose a dissertation topic, and started writing a 250 page manuscript on Ernst Cassirer’s thought. As I was going through my studies and my writing, I would think, “how am I going to do this”? “Who am I to get a PhD”? About 15 years earlier, I had read Barbara Marciniak’s Bringers of the Dawn. I remembered her saying in her introduction that she was “told” (guided) to visualize the cover of her book, and then visualize flipping through the pages. So I did that. I also remember thinking, “if this really happens, it’s all You” (to God), and totally giving it up as I was doing it.  I visualized my dissertation completed; I visualized the letter P.H.D after my name; I visualized everyone loving my work. Now here I am, Susan Billmaier, Ph.D. Whoda thunk?

Here are some questions I ask myself regarding these “creations” (and these questions are some of the little reasons I am doing Journey of Creation):

  1. What’s the difference between creation and goal setting?
  2. What’s the difference between creation and attractiing or magnetizing?
  3. Was I responsible for these (above) “creations”? How do I know?
  4. Would they have happened anyway, whether I wanted/intended them or not? (I think, probably not…)

The second big reason I am doing Journey of Creation is this:

More than anything, I want to live in union with God (Christ consciousness, my I AM Self, the Holy Spirit…whatever you call “it”). More than anything.

I’ve been working on it a long, long time.

Living in union with God means dissolving and/or transforming the “little me”, the ego, the part of me that stubbornly wants to insist that I can do it without anyone else (or God), and turning over command to my Holy/Christ Self to orchestrate my life.

I believe that when I stand aside and turn over command of my life to my Christ Self, that is when real, True creation happens. That’s what I want: real, True creation. I want that which comes forth from the heart of God to Love and Serve all Life, with the highest benefit to all, to come through me, with me, as me.

In this scenario, creation would be more accurately termed co-creation, in which I and God are working together, and that I would be in a position to be fully aware of working in union with my Christ Self. This then refers back to big reason #1: I want to be aware, to understand, and to know what it takes to co-create with God.

It might be fun to change water to wine on occasion too.

And that brings up another question:

  1. If I turn over command to my Christ Self, how do set goals? Do set goals? How does this work, exactly…being myself and not orchestrating my own life? I mean, Jesus knew what he was doing when he changed water to wine. He intended; he chose; he accomplished. What does he know, what did he do, that I can learn? (Remember, Jesus said, “All this, and more than this shall you also do”. So, it’s not an impossible idea to think that I can learn what Jesus knew.)

I will start digging in to all this the day after tomorrow! Are you curious?







“Watershed”: Journey of the Heart 2.0 – Day 38

Journey of the Heart - Day 38 Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls
Journey of the Heart – Day 38
Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls

Guiding Thought

Love-as-light streams from my heart to your heart!

We are connected by Love; we are One in Love.

I imagine this stream of love-as-light connecting with everyone in time and space.

I imagine receiving this stream of love-as-light as it returns to me from everyone in time and space. This is enough. We are One.

-Play the Guiding Thought here (loops automatically).
Journey of the Heart audio created by Brad Vanlandingham for Susanwithpearls-



It was when I got about a third of the way through this picture that I realized how relevant it is to the Guiding Thought. Minus the first line, if you replace “love” with “water” the Guiding Thought makes good sense:

We are connected by Water; we are One in Water.

I imagine this stream of water-as-light connecting with everyone in time and space.

I imagine receiving this stream of water-as-light as it returns to me from everyone in time and space. This is enough. We are One.

Water connects us. There’s water in the air and in our bodies. Water recycles all over the planet, interacting with everyone. They say we breathe particles that were part of Jesus or Buddha; we probably drink water that was too.

There’s so much about how we are “all the same underneath” throughout time and cultures; words spoken by philosophers, writers, even fighters.

38 bruce lee

Watersheds on mountains are places where water flows naturally, coming together to form streams, then rivers, then the rivers flow to larger bodies of water, which flow to larger bodies of water, until the water reaches the ocean. Along the way, some of the water evaporates, makes clouds, travels by air and wind to fall hundreds or thousands of miles away and starts all over.

In the meantime, we are drinking this water, bathing in it, using it to cook and clean. Water touches all of us, at least in privileged countries.

This is a moment where words don’t really describe this feeling about water, but I understand in a new way how sacred water is, how beautiful the water cycle is, how it really does connect us internally and externally. Water is like fluid light all over the planet.