Feelin’ It (Heart- 1.1.9)

Journey of the Heart – Day 09
©Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls

Guiding Thought

Gratitude strikes my heart like a bell, resounding love through my being. Gratitude opens my heart to Love’s purity, my very own essence! I experience such deep gratitude for my heart, my essence, my ALL of Life!

Play the Guiding Thought here (loops automatically). Journey of the Heart audio created by Brad Vanlandingham for Susanwithpearls:

Sharing

There was something rhythmic and steady about drawing repetitive lines while listening to the Guiding Thought. I felt my mind let go so that the words were able to quite literally resound through my body, carrying with them the feeling behind the words. By the time I was finishing the picture, I felt gratitude that was in my body, visceral and organic. I’ve never experienced that before.

Cool.

Circus Wheel (Heart-1.1.3)

Journey of the Heart – Day 03
©Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls

Guiding Thought

Following the guidance of my heart, I experience life anew! As I express love, I experience love everywhere. I find new ways to love. I recognize new depths and nuances of love. I am patient. I am kind. I am wise. I respond to life with love, as love.

Play the Guiding Thought here (loops automatically). Journey of the Heart audio created by Brad Vanlandingham for Susanwithpearls:

Sharing

“Yes, yes, that’s true”. I felt assured in my contemplation.

It’s one thing to read the Guiding Thought and feel disconnected from the words or their meanings. Sometimes that happens. the words are like the lyrics to a song that I don’t understand, so I hum the melody, as gibberish runs through my mind.

It’s quite another to read the Guiding Thought and not only feel connected to it, but feel like it applies. These are the best kind of affirmation: when I agree with the thing that I am affirming, when there are no dissenting voices sabotaging and undermining the statements of truth.

So, today, I received connection, affirmation, and assurance. With deep gratitude, I accept this gift from my heart! (Always a good idea to acknowledge, accept, and give thanks…this lets your heart know you want its gifts, and you take it seriously).

“So There! Take That, Skeptical Mind!”: Journey of Purpose 2.0 – Day 31

Copyright Tam Black 2016 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2016
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

There is a Perfect Spiritual Idea of Perfect Fulfillment. My Inner Divine Presence Knows every form, experience, situation, event, circumstance, condition, relationship, and sequence that fulfills my desires. When I am diligent about maintaining my focus of desire on the loving benefit and fulfillment of all sentient beings, Divine Substance–which is the source of Spiritual Idea’s manifestation–flows through me and externalizes in my experience. Divine Presence appears as the perfect fulfillment of every single form, experience, situation, event, circumstance, condition, relationship, and sequence that I could possibly desire.

 

Sharing

Welcome to Round 4!

See this page for information on the rounds and an explanation on how the Guiding Thoughts change for this round.

There are only 10 days left. We’ve done so much these past 30 days; do you realize how far you’ve come? Can you feel it? After all, it’s not everyone who can think in terms of Oneness and expansion for 30 days in a row (and by the time we’re finished…40!). It’s not everyone who can think about blessing all 7.125 billion people on the planet. It’s not everyone who is actively involved in uplifting themselves and all of humanity. Give yourself a pat on the back…or a hug!

Speaking of hugs…I spontaneously gave myself a hug this morning. Before I knew what I was doing, or why I was doing it, I had my arms around myself, telling myself, “I love you”. It was kind of weird because it was so out of the blue, and for no reason. Who does that???

It seems to me that this is evidence. One of my obstructions recently has been the impatience, the wanting to see results. I think, “Oh, yeah…show me…show me ‘perfect fulfillment of form, experience, in situations and events’…show me.”

I am aware there is difference between what I think I want and what the Perfect Spiritual Idea is. If I really KNEW the Perfect Spiritual Idea as my life, there would be no impatience, no wanting it a particular way; there would be just peace and going with the flow…so I do not KNOW it, really. I keep looking for It. I keep wanting to see that perfection in my life, which means I do not think my life is perfect, that I do not trust that things are exactly how they should be. And all of this is a clue to how I need to evolve, what I need to heal, things I need to work on: Trust, acceptance, relaxing (sound familiar?).

But then, out of the blue, I hug myself! And it’s real. I’m not just standing in front of the mirror telling myself “you are strong, you are beautiful, you are smart” to try to make myself believe it. The hug is because I AM strong and beautiful and smart and kind and loving and worthy of SO much love.

It was like a moment where there was no looking for it. There was simply being the expression of my Self as the Perfect Spiritual Idea of myself! What more evidence could there be?

But, dang my skeptical mind! I am actually hearing part of my brain saying that doesn’t mean anything. It’s not real. It’s not really evidence. There is nothing there; you still need to see something in the circumstances of your life–until that happens, I don’t believe it.

It’s amazing to me how patterns of self-sabotage work. Even when I consciously acknowledge the evidence, a part of me can be denying it at the same time. DILIGENCE. This is why I need to be diligent in confronting and denying the nay-saying part of my head.

I AM LOVE. I AM AWESOME. I AM WORTHY and WONDERFUL. I LOVE MYSELF. So there!

 

A Journey of the Heart 2.0: Afterword

I thought when I started Journey of the Heart, that when the heart opened it would open to love, joy, celebration, awe, and creativity–the things that I identify as “positive”. But I have discovered that when the heart opens, it also opens to those things that need love, i.e. those things that feel alone, lonely, hurt, distressed, ignored, neglected, painful, and suffering.

Sometimes what I experience is painful, or difficult. Sometimes there is something that happens–someone does something, says something, or something turns out in a way I did not expect, and I feel hurt and sad.

Recently though, there are times…when I just feel my heart open and I feel a pain that comes from nowhere and has no apparent cause.

It’s as though there is just something within that needs comfort and understanding, something suffering that wants to be held and loved. I don’t feel like it’s “me”, it’s just something.

This morning when this happened, I thought about the Four Noble Truths (basic teachings of Buddha Dharma):

The Truth of Suffering (Suffering exists)

The Truth of the Cause of Suffering (Suffering has a cause)

The Truth of the End of Suffering (Since suffering has a cause, we can find it and eliminate it)

The Truth of the Path leading to the End of Suffering (Buddha Dharma teaches how to find the cause of suffering and eliminate it)

At the same time I thought about the Four Noble Truths, this thought was immediately juxtaposed with those Truths:

I feel One with the Source of the Law of Life

It was as though the ideas were overlaid, inseparable, but how? What does this mean?

My first thought about this was, “Life encompasses everything–even suffering; suffering is part of life itself.” Then I thought, “Suffering can be eliminated, so life can also encompass the possibility of there being no suffering.”… “So, how can life exist both with suffering and without suffering?”… “Life is the unity of everything, including every possible possibility, which means the possibility of two opposites existing at the same time.”

WHAT???

I decided my brain was too small at the moment to continue the line of thought; however, as with such types of brain teasers, my mind felt a little bit bigger for it.

I changed the direction of my thoughts and thought more about the elimination of suffering. One of my favorite stories about the elimination of suffering is the story of how Green Tara came to be:

Tara is the mother of all Buddhas. One Buddha is Avelokiteshvara (also known as Guanyin). Avelokiteshvara/Guanyin is the great God/Goddess of compassionate action, and is often depicted with hundreds of arms. The arms depict action here! Action there! Action everywhere! This depiction is much the same as cartoons (think of Wile E. Coyote) which use many legs or arms to depict speeds or multiple actions.

Avelokiteshvara spent eons in compassionate action, helping people and souls find peace and freedom.

After eons of compassionate action, Avelokiteshvara paused a moment to look around, to see humankind’s progress, how much he had helped.

In looking around, he saw endless suffering, as though his eons of aid were for naught.

In his despair, a tear fell.

From the tear, Tara (Avelokiteshvara’s mother) manifested herself as Green Tara, who said to him, “Despair not! I will help you!”

Sometimes I feel despair with the state of the world. Sometimes I look around and see the cruelty, the ignorance, how we humans treat each other, animals, and the planet, and I feel so terribly sad.

There is an end to suffering. There is. The best I can do is strive for it, open my heart, learn, “be the change”, do the best I can to be the best person I can.

I would rather put my efforts toward assisting Avelokiteshvara and Green Tara, than making more suffering in the world.

“Light Dance”: Journey of the Heart 2.0 – Day 40

Journey of the Heart - Day 40 Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls
Journey of the Heart – Day 40
Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls

Guiding Thought

My heart-love establishes my inner-peace.

Solidly grounded in my own inner-peace, I approach all of life with love, compassion, and wisdom.

I live as my Self, shining with the beauty of the Love I AM.

-Play the Guiding Thought here (loops automatically).
Journey of the Heart audio created by Brad Vanlandingham for Susanwithpearls-

 

Sharing

Day 40! Let’s celebrate! Seriously! It’s a day for flowers and lights and dancing. Be free! Sing! Shake your body! Wave your arms…kiss the one you love…hug your pet!

I feel relieved. I feel happy. I feel like I am ready to jump into the next Journey. I am ready to re-commit to you, to us, to this process, to what’s next.

I think I have just decided on the *NEW* song for ending a Journey. It is appropriately joyful and sorrowful all at the same time. It expresses thankfulness for the past and what has transpired; thankfulness for friends, family, and all those who we love. It speaks of depths and mysteries, weathering life in all its forms; it resonates with endings and success and moving forward again! How appropriate.

Here you go (lyrics at bottom of post):

I am so grateful to everyone who has been with me on this Journey. I love that you are here. I love that we are doing this.

I’d also especially like to thank Brad Vanlandingham for recording such beautiful Guiding Thoughts for all of us to utilize as we connect with our hearts, while simply listening to his smooth voice.

I want you to know your own inner joy. I want you to know your freedom, feel your release. I want us to move forward together in good will, in warm-hearted kindness, in tolerance and patience and acceptance. I want us to be successful in the best ways possible, with peace and joy and love!

So. Let’s do it!

I’ll be writing an afterword post about Journey of the Heart in the next 7-10 days then Journey of Purpose will begin February 22…and it will be another day for celebration!

 

 

“Journey’s End” By: Clannad, from the album Macalla:

Blue waves are rolling

Visions in my mind

Of a strange voice calling

Journey’s at an end, journey’s at an end

(Journey’s at an end, journey’s at an end)

 

Hear the anchor sinking

Voices ringing clear

Farewell from my kindred

And friends I love so dear, and friends I love so dear

(Journey’s at an end, journey’s at an end)

 

Lost streams are fading

They sweep across the vale

And with oceans of meadows

To bring me back again, to bring me back again

(Journey’s at an end, journey’s at an end)

 

Long have I traveled

In storm, in the sun, in the rain

And it’s homeward singing

Journey’s at an end, journey’s at an end

(Journey’s at an end, journey’s at an end)

(Journey’s at an end, journey’s at an end)

 

 

 

 

 

“Faceless (but not nameless) Angel”: Journey of the Heart 2.0 – Day 39

Journey of the Heart - Day 39 Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls
Journey of the Heart – Day 39
Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls

Guiding Thought

Gratitude strikes my heart like a bell, resounding love through my being.

Gratitude opens my heart to Love’s purity, my very own essence!

I experience such deep gratitude for my heart, my essence, my ALL of Life!

-Play the Guiding Thought here (loops automatically).
Journey of the Heart audio created by Brad Vanlandingham for Susanwithpearls-

 

Sharing

I was reminded today that Journey of the Heart is supposed to be out of my mind. I was remarking about feeling “off”, feeling like I’ve been having an out of body experience during this Journey, and my dear, wise friend said, “No, just out of mind”.

It’s amazing to me, how learning new things, shifting into something new, can feel so wrong. I mean, it makes sense. I am a very mental person; it absolutely makes sense that I feel “off” being with my heart as much as I have been for the past 38 days. I am comfortable in my head, but being in my heart pulls me in ways that are simply unfamiliar. Unfamiliar can feel uncomfortable. But there’s nothing wrong, it just feels weird—but I admit, I’ve been inclined to label it as “wrong”.

I catch myself from labeling it as “wrong”, and stop, and remind myself…this is an example of little lettings-go. This is the slow, gentle process of detaching from myself.

How do I identify? Who do I think I am? A lot of my identity is wrapped up in myself as an intellectual, thinking person. And what happens when I lower the importance of that part of myself and privilege my heart? The discomfort I feel has to do with a readjustment of my self-identity, removing emphasis from my mind, giving emphasis to my heart and feelings. My mind rebels with discomfort; but the process is slow enough that I can deal with the little rebellions each day and keep going.

What’s neat is, the letting go and discomfort has been rewarded in ways that make it worthwhile. The work I’ve done, and my heart expanding has (apparently) opened me to new energies. I do several energetic healing modalities—Reiki, Rebirthing, and Jharra. Mostly, I use them for myself as “meditation” or relaxation techniques, but I also give them to friends and family. I was giving a friend Jharra, before any session I always invoke “Highest Divine Love and Light” and invite representative beings to aid and assist the session. As I was doing this, I felt this huge “rubber stamp” come down on the screen of my mind and it left the stamp “Raphael”. I thought, OoooooK… and went on with the session.

The next day in another session, the same thing happened. At the end of the session, I said to my friend, “WHO is Raphael!?” … “He’s an Archangel” … “What does he do or represent?” And I had to Google him. Apparently, it’s very much in his (outgoing) personality to announce himself in this way, and he is an Angel of Healing (Raphael means, “it is God who heals”). All of this made sense in the context.

Since then, I’ve been just thinking about Raphael, and inviting him to be more a part of my life. This is all new to me. And I like it. And I’m grateful.

“Watershed”: Journey of the Heart 2.0 – Day 38

Journey of the Heart - Day 38 Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls
Journey of the Heart – Day 38
Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls

Guiding Thought

Love-as-light streams from my heart to your heart!

We are connected by Love; we are One in Love.

I imagine this stream of love-as-light connecting with everyone in time and space.

I imagine receiving this stream of love-as-light as it returns to me from everyone in time and space. This is enough. We are One.

-Play the Guiding Thought here (loops automatically).
Journey of the Heart audio created by Brad Vanlandingham for Susanwithpearls-

 

Sharing

It was when I got about a third of the way through this picture that I realized how relevant it is to the Guiding Thought. Minus the first line, if you replace “love” with “water” the Guiding Thought makes good sense:

We are connected by Water; we are One in Water.

I imagine this stream of water-as-light connecting with everyone in time and space.

I imagine receiving this stream of water-as-light as it returns to me from everyone in time and space. This is enough. We are One.

Water connects us. There’s water in the air and in our bodies. Water recycles all over the planet, interacting with everyone. They say we breathe particles that were part of Jesus or Buddha; we probably drink water that was too.

There’s so much about how we are “all the same underneath” throughout time and cultures; words spoken by philosophers, writers, even fighters.

38 bruce lee

Watersheds on mountains are places where water flows naturally, coming together to form streams, then rivers, then the rivers flow to larger bodies of water, which flow to larger bodies of water, until the water reaches the ocean. Along the way, some of the water evaporates, makes clouds, travels by air and wind to fall hundreds or thousands of miles away and starts all over.

In the meantime, we are drinking this water, bathing in it, using it to cook and clean. Water touches all of us, at least in privileged countries.

This is a moment where words don’t really describe this feeling about water, but I understand in a new way how sacred water is, how beautiful the water cycle is, how it really does connect us internally and externally. Water is like fluid light all over the planet.