Gratitude strikes my heart like a bell, resounding love through my being. Gratitude opens my heart to Love’s purity, my very own essence! I experience such deep gratitude for my heart, my essence, my ALL of Life!
Play the Guiding Thought here (loops automatically). Journey of the Heart audio created by Brad Vanlandingham for Susanwithpearls:
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There was something rhythmic and steady about drawing repetitive lines while listening to the Guiding Thought. I felt my mind let go so that the words were able to quite literally resound through my body, carrying with them the feeling behind the words. By the time I was finishing the picture, I felt gratitude that was in my body, visceral and organic. I’ve never experienced that before.
Following the guidance of my heart, I experience life anew! As I express love, I experience love everywhere. I find new ways to love. I recognize new depths and nuances of love. I am patient. I am kind. I am wise. I respond to life with love, as love.
Play the Guiding Thought here (loops automatically). Journey of the Heart audio created by Brad Vanlandingham for Susanwithpearls:
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“Yes, yes, that’s true”. I felt assured in my contemplation.
It’s one thing to read the Guiding Thought and feel disconnected from the words or their meanings. Sometimes that happens. the words are like the lyrics to a song that I don’t understand, so I hum the melody, as gibberish runs through my mind.
It’s quite another to read the Guiding Thought and not only feel connected to it, but feel like it applies. These are the best kind of affirmation: when I agree with the thing that I am affirming, when there are no dissenting voices sabotaging and undermining the statements of truth.
So, today, I received connection, affirmation, and assurance. With deep gratitude, I accept this gift from my heart! (Always a good idea to acknowledge, accept, and give thanks…this lets your heart know you want its gifts, and you take it seriously).
Copyright Tam Black 2016 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Guiding Thought
There is a Perfect Spiritual Idea of Perfect Fulfillment. My Inner Divine Presence Knows every form, experience, situation, event, circumstance, condition, relationship, and sequence that fulfills my desires. When I am diligent about maintaining my focus of desire on the loving benefit and fulfillment of all sentient beings, Divine Substance–which is the source of Spiritual Idea’s manifestation–flows through me and externalizes in my experience. Divine Presence appears as the perfect fulfillment of every single form, experience, situation, event, circumstance, condition, relationship, and sequence that I could possibly desire.
Sharing
Welcome to Round 4!
See this page for information on the rounds and an explanation on how the Guiding Thoughts change for this round.
There are only 10 days left. We’ve done so much these past 30 days; do you realize how far you’ve come? Can you feel it? After all, it’s not everyone who can think in terms of Oneness and expansion for 30 days in a row (and by the time we’re finished…40!). It’s not everyone who can think about blessing all 7.125 billion people on the planet. It’s not everyone who is actively involved in uplifting themselves and all of humanity. Give yourself a pat on the back…or a hug!
Speaking of hugs…I spontaneously gave myself a hug this morning. Before I knew what I was doing, or why I was doing it, I had my arms around myself, telling myself, “I love you”. It was kind of weird because it was so out of the blue, and for no reason. Who does that???
It seems to me that this is evidence. One of my obstructions recently has been the impatience, the wanting to see results. I think, “Oh, yeah…show me…show me ‘perfect fulfillment of form, experience, in situations and events’…show me.”
I am aware there is difference between what I think I want and what the Perfect Spiritual Idea is. If I really KNEW the Perfect Spiritual Idea as my life, there would be no impatience, no wanting it a particular way; there would be just peace and going with the flow…so I do not KNOW it, really. I keep looking for It. I keep wanting to see that perfection in my life, which means I do not think my life is perfect, that I do not trust that things are exactly how they should be. And all of this is a clue to how I need to evolve, what I need to heal, things I need to work on: Trust, acceptance, relaxing (sound familiar?).
But then, out of the blue, I hug myself! And it’s real. I’m not just standing in front of the mirror telling myself “you are strong, you are beautiful, you are smart” to try to make myself believe it. The hug is because I AM strong and beautiful and smart and kind and loving and worthy of SO much love.
It was like a moment where there was no looking for it. There was simply being the expression of my Self as the Perfect Spiritual Idea of myself! What more evidence could there be?
But, dang my skeptical mind! I am actually hearing part of my brain saying that doesn’t mean anything. It’s not real. It’s not really evidence. There is nothing there; you still need to see something in the circumstances of your life–until that happens, I don’t believe it.
It’s amazing to me how patterns of self-sabotage work. Even when I consciously acknowledge the evidence, a part of me can be denying it at the same time. DILIGENCE. This is why I need to be diligent in confronting and denying the nay-saying part of my head.
I AM LOVE. I AM AWESOME. I AM WORTHY and WONDERFUL. I LOVE MYSELF. So there!
I thought when I started Journey of the Heart, that when the heart opened it would open to love, joy, celebration, awe, and creativity–the things that I identify as “positive”. But I have discovered that when the heart opens, it also opens to those things that need love, i.e. those things that feel alone, lonely, hurt, distressed, ignored, neglected, painful, and suffering.
Sometimes what I experience is painful, or difficult. Sometimes there is something that happens–someone does something, says something, or something turns out in a way I did not expect, and I feel hurt and sad.
Recently though, there are times…when I just feel my heart open and I feel a pain that comes from nowhere and has no apparent cause.
It’s as though there is just something within that needs comfort and understanding, something suffering that wants to be held and loved. I don’t feel like it’s “me”, it’s just something.
This morning when this happened, I thought about the Four Noble Truths (basic teachings of Buddha Dharma):
The Truth of Suffering (Suffering exists)
The Truth of the Cause of Suffering (Suffering has a cause)
The Truth of the End of Suffering (Since suffering has a cause, we can find it and eliminate it)
The Truth of the Path leading to the End of Suffering (Buddha Dharma teaches how to find the cause of suffering and eliminate it)
At the same time I thought about the Four Noble Truths, this thought was immediately juxtaposed with those Truths:
I feel One with the Source of the Law of Life
It was as though the ideas were overlaid, inseparable, but how? What does this mean?
My first thought about this was, “Life encompasses everything–even suffering; suffering is part of life itself.” Then I thought, “Suffering can be eliminated, so life can also encompass the possibility of there being no suffering.”… “So, how can life exist both with suffering and without suffering?”… “Life is the unity of everything, including every possible possibility, which means the possibility of two opposites existing at the same time.”
WHAT???
I decided my brain was too small at the moment to continue the line of thought; however, as with such types of brain teasers, my mind felt a little bit bigger for it.
I changed the direction of my thoughts and thought more about the elimination of suffering. One of my favorite stories about the elimination of suffering is the story of how Green Tara came to be:
Tara is the mother of all Buddhas. One Buddha is Avelokiteshvara (also known as Guanyin). Avelokiteshvara/Guanyin is the great God/Goddess of compassionate action, and is often depicted with hundreds of arms. The arms depict action here! Action there! Action everywhere! This depiction is much the same as cartoons (think of Wile E. Coyote) which use many legs or arms to depict speeds or multiple actions.
Avelokiteshvara spent eons in compassionate action, helping people and souls find peace and freedom.
After eons of compassionate action, Avelokiteshvara paused a moment to look around, to see humankind’s progress, how much he had helped.
In looking around, he saw endless suffering, as though his eons of aid were for naught.
In his despair, a tear fell.
From the tear, Tara (Avelokiteshvara’s mother) manifested herself as Green Tara, who said to him, “Despair not! I will help you!”
Sometimes I feel despair with the state of the world. Sometimes I look around and see the cruelty, the ignorance, how we humans treat each other, animals, and the planet, and I feel so terribly sad.
There is an end to suffering. There is. The best I can do is strive for it, open my heart, learn, “be the change”, do the best I can to be the best person I can.
I would rather put my efforts toward assisting Avelokiteshvara and Green Tara, than making more suffering in the world.
Journey of the Heart – Day 40 Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls
Guiding Thought
My heart-love establishes my inner-peace.
Solidly grounded in my own inner-peace, I approach all of life with love, compassion, and wisdom.
I live as my Self, shining with the beauty of the Love I AM.
-Play the Guiding Thought here (loops automatically). Journey of the Heart audio created by Brad Vanlandingham for Susanwithpearls-
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Day 40! Let’s celebrate! Seriously! It’s a day for flowers and lights and dancing. Be free! Sing! Shake your body! Wave your arms…kiss the one you love…hug your pet!
I feel relieved. I feel happy. I feel like I am ready to jump into the next Journey. I am ready to re-commit to you, to us, to this process, to what’s next.
I think I have just decided on the *NEW* song for ending a Journey. It is appropriately joyful and sorrowful all at the same time. It expresses thankfulness for the past and what has transpired; thankfulness for friends, family, and all those who we love. It speaks of depths and mysteries, weathering life in all its forms; it resonates with endings and success and moving forward again! How appropriate.
Here you go (lyrics at bottom of post):
I am so grateful to everyone who has been with me on this Journey. I love that you are here. I love that we are doing this.
I’d also especially like to thank Brad Vanlandingham for recording such beautiful Guiding Thoughts for all of us to utilize as we connect with our hearts, while simply listening to his smooth voice.
I want you to know your own inner joy. I want you to know your freedom, feel your release. I want us to move forward together in good will, in warm-hearted kindness, in tolerance and patience and acceptance. I want us to be successful in the best ways possible, with peace and joy and love!
So. Let’s do it!
I’ll be writing an afterword post about Journey of the Heart in the next 7-10 days then Journey of Purpose will begin February 22…and it will be another day for celebration!
“Journey’s End” By: Clannad, from the album Macalla:
Blue waves are rolling
Visions in my mind
Of a strange voice calling
Journey’s at an end, journey’s at an end
(Journey’s at an end, journey’s at an end)
Hear the anchor sinking
Voices ringing clear
Farewell from my kindred
And friends I love so dear, and friends I love so dear
Journey of the Heart – Day 39 Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls
Guiding Thought
Gratitude strikes my heart like a bell, resounding love through my being.
Gratitude opens my heart to Love’s purity, my very own essence!
I experience such deep gratitude for my heart, my essence, my ALL of Life!
-Play the Guiding Thought here (loops automatically). Journey of the Heart audio created by Brad Vanlandingham for Susanwithpearls-
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I was reminded today that Journey of the Heart is supposed to be out of my mind. I was remarking about feeling “off”, feeling like I’ve been having an out of body experience during this Journey, and my dear, wise friend said, “No, just out of mind”.
It’s amazing to me, how learning new things, shifting into something new, can feel so wrong. I mean, it makes sense. I am a very mental person; it absolutely makes sense that I feel “off” being with my heart as much as I have been for the past 38 days. I am comfortable in my head, but being in my heart pulls me in ways that are simply unfamiliar. Unfamiliar can feel uncomfortable. But there’s nothing wrong, it just feels weird—but I admit, I’ve been inclined to label it as “wrong”.
I catch myself from labeling it as “wrong”, and stop, and remind myself…this is an example of little lettings-go. This is the slow, gentle process of detaching from myself.
How do I identify? Who do I think I am? A lot of my identity is wrapped up in myself as an intellectual, thinking person. And what happens when I lower the importance of that part of myself and privilege my heart? The discomfort I feel has to do with a readjustment of my self-identity, removing emphasis from my mind, giving emphasis to my heart and feelings. My mind rebels with discomfort; but the process is slow enough that I can deal with the little rebellions each day and keep going.
What’s neat is, the letting go and discomfort has been rewarded in ways that make it worthwhile. The work I’ve done, and my heart expanding has (apparently) opened me to new energies. I do several energetic healing modalities—Reiki, Rebirthing, and Jharra. Mostly, I use them for myself as “meditation” or relaxation techniques, but I also give them to friends and family. I was giving a friend Jharra, before any session I always invoke “Highest Divine Love and Light” and invite representative beings to aid and assist the session. As I was doing this, I felt this huge “rubber stamp” come down on the screen of my mind and it left the stamp “Raphael”. I thought, OoooooK… and went on with the session.
The next day in another session, the same thing happened. At the end of the session, I said to my friend, “WHO is Raphael!?” … “He’s an Archangel” … “What does he do or represent?” And I had to Google him. Apparently, it’s very much in his (outgoing) personality to announce himself in this way, and he is an Angel of Healing (Raphael means, “it is God who heals”). All of this made sense in the context.
Since then, I’ve been just thinking about Raphael, and inviting him to be more a part of my life. This is all new to me. And I like it. And I’m grateful.
Journey of the Heart – Day 38 Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls
Guiding Thought
Love-as-light streams from my heart to your heart!
We are connected by Love; we are One in Love.
I imagine this stream of love-as-light connecting with everyone in time and space.
I imagine receiving this stream of love-as-light as it returns to me from everyone in time and space. This is enough. We are One.
-Play the Guiding Thought here (loops automatically). Journey of the Heart audio created by Brad Vanlandingham for Susanwithpearls-
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It was when I got about a third of the way through this picture that I realized how relevant it is to the Guiding Thought. Minus the first line, if you replace “love” with “water” the Guiding Thought makes good sense:
We are connected by Water; we are One in Water.
I imagine this stream of water-as-light connecting with everyone in time and space.
I imagine receiving this stream of water-as-light as it returns to me from everyone in time and space. This is enough. We are One.
Water connects us. There’s water in the air and in our bodies. Water recycles all over the planet, interacting with everyone. They say we breathe particles that were part of Jesus or Buddha; we probably drink water that was too.
There’s so much about how we are “all the same underneath” throughout time and cultures; words spoken by philosophers, writers, even fighters.
Watersheds on mountains are places where water flows naturally, coming together to form streams, then rivers, then the rivers flow to larger bodies of water, which flow to larger bodies of water, until the water reaches the ocean. Along the way, some of the water evaporates, makes clouds, travels by air and wind to fall hundreds or thousands of miles away and starts all over.
In the meantime, we are drinking this water, bathing in it, using it to cook and clean. Water touches all of us, at least in privileged countries.
This is a moment where words don’t really describe this feeling about water, but I understand in a new way how sacred water is, how beautiful the water cycle is, how it really does connect us internally and externally. Water is like fluid light all over the planet.
Journey of the Heart – Day 37 Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls
Guiding Thought
I focus my heart-love in the service of others.
As I serve others through my deepest heart-love, my own love expands and becomes amplified.
There is always more love to share, to give, to experience!
Such joy and gratitude fill me, when I open to my heart’s love!
-Play the Guiding Thought here (loops automatically). Journey of the Heart audio created by Brad Vanlandingham for Susanwithpearls-
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I guess “crazy-eyes” is what happens when I trace a bunch of infinity signs and add spirals around them. I wasn’t trying to do another crazy eyes; I just like infinity signs and spirals. The purple in the middle is infinity signs, symbolizing my heart-love focused in the service of others, infinitely. The blue infinity signs represent my own love expanding and becoming amplified. My love expands out from the action of being in service to others. The greenish, gold, and pink represents the energy that is generated from the expansion of my love. Then, when it expands far enough, it explodes in flares, spewing love out to everything!
What’s interesting, of course is that if the middle represents infinite love and service, infinitely, and the explosion represents the love going out infinitely, then love is coming out from infinity and going back to infinity.
I love infinity.
I should say that I love concepts that can make my head feel like it might explode if I think about them too long (like infinity).
The other day, I thought to myself, “What are God’s thoughts…what are the thoughts of God?” and I just sat there and thought about God’s thoughts. This is what I came up with, before I felt too much like my head was going to explode:
ING image release,13 December, 2013 Planetary Nebula Sh2-71 Photo courtesy of the Isaac Newton Group of Telescopes, La Palma
I think God probably does not think in words…they are too limiting. The image I had in my head was not static, however, it moved; it was dynamic, there was swirling and shifting and waves and billows. It only lasted a couple of seconds, but it was a great thought-experiment; it felt expansive, like I really was somehow “getting” an answer to my question.
Sometimes I ask myself what Jesus thought, or what Jesus prayed. This feels a little more accessible than asking what God’s thoughts are. We know Jesus prayed. And we know Jesus taught us the Lord’s prayer. But is the Lord’s prayer what Jesus himself used to pray? Or is it the prayer he gave to the masses, because so few have eyes to see or ears to hear? I am inclined to think he prayed differently than the way he taught us. I mean, if he actually prayed in the way he taught us, and his prayers were answered, and we are using the same prayers as him, then why can so few of us multiply loaves and fishes, heal the sick, walk on water, or raise the dead? So what did Jesus pray? Or, what are we missing? And, even more…how do we figure it out? After all, He said, “All of this and more than this shall you also do…”
I ask the questions so I can figure it out. I believe Jesus; I really think he was telling the truth about what we are capable of. If we’re not doing it, there’s just something we’re not getting. But we can.
Journey of the Heart – Day 36 Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls
Guiding Thought
I listen to my heart and with my heart.
My heart pays attention to others, listening to their inner voice, their unspoken words.
I care, and attend with love to their deeper, silent needs, asking their heart, “How may I strengthen you and raise your energy?”
-Play the Guiding Thought here (loops automatically). Journey of the Heart audio created by Brad Vanlandingham for Susanwithpearls-
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Everyone has what is today known as “self-talk”—the voices in your head, mostly mimicked from past authority figures telling you about yourself. I’m reading the Mistborn Trilogy by Brandon Sanderson, and Vin, the protagonist, “hears” the voice of her dead brother, Reen, telling her, “If you trust anyone they will betray you.” “Ruthlessness is the most practical of emotions.” “The only reason to be subservient to those with power is so that you can learn to someday take what they have.”
Unfortunately, like Reen’s words, most self-talk is self-destructive, self-punishing, or self-denigrating.
When we hear other people’s self-talk, we can usually recognize it and say to ourselves something like, “Well, that’s not really true, that’s just something you tell yourself.” Would any of you believe trusting always leads to betrayal, or ruthlessness is a practical emotion? Probably not, but Vin (at this point in the story) believes these things; they are part of her life-outlook.
But, people tend to believe their own self-talk. Most of the time it’s been given to them by other people they trust and probably, most of the time, those people have given those words to help. Reen told Vin these things to protect her.
Today’s Guiding Thought is about listening to your heart, then caring about others enough to be willing to listen to their hearts. What if when you listen to your heart, instead of hearing its love, you hear your own self-talk?
That’s sort of what happened to me this morning. I couldn’t make the coffee. I failed at making coffee. It was probably karma coming back to bite me. The
If I could make out the name on this… I would credit it! “Sweatpants & Coffee”
other day, a friend of mine posted this picture, along with the comment, “No I can’t. That’s why we have a coffee maker that I can fill & program the night before to make coffee for us the next morning”. When I saw this, internally, I was laughing at her, “Really? You can’t make coffee before coffee?? HAAAAAAA!”
But this morning, I could not make coffee. Three times. I made coffee three times and each one was a failure. First one was too weak, the second one, I forgot to put the carafe under the spout so it spilled all over the counter, and the third one, the filter folded down so the coffee was weak and had grounds in it. I thought, “I am a failure. This is so simple, and I’ve failed. How can I not be able to make coffee??”
My self-talk was about failure. I could feel it. I could feel that on some level, I was telling myself I was a failure. I knew, consciously I was just giving myself a hard time, but there was something more subtle going on.
But I recognized it, thank God. And I changed my dialogue.
One of my personal favorite thoughts is, “I learn things quickly”. I pay attention to lessons life is trying to teach me, and I learn—quickly. My philosophy (borne from experience) is if I learn things quickly and easily, life does not have to bang me over the head. Think about it: if you don’t get it the first time, it comes back more severely…and more severely… until you start to listen and get it. I listen and learn as quickly as I can, because I really don’t like hard lessons.
So when I couldn’t make the coffee this morning, I thought, “This must be something I need to pay attention to. This is SO easy, and I am not getting it! There must be something deeper I need to learn, something subtler than just coffee.”
Now, I am paying attention. What lesson am I learning? What is the coffee teaching me? I am successful. I will not allow coffee to tell me otherwise!
This song from Godspell went a long way to strengthen my thoughts about learning things quickly…enjoy!
“I can see a swath of sinners sitting yonder and they’re acting like a pack of fools—gazing into space and let their minds wander instead of studying the good Lord’s rules you better pay attention, build your comprehension. There’s going to be a quiz at your ascension. Not to mention any threat of hell, but if you’re smart you’ll learn your lessons well.
Every bright description of the promised land mentions you can reach it if you keep alert. Learning every line and every last commandment may not help you but it couldn’t hurt. First you gotta read ‘em, then you gotta heed ‘em.. You never know when you’re gonna need ’em Just as old Elijah said to Jezebel, you better start to learn your lessons well.”
Journey of the Heart – Day 35 Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls
Guiding Thought
I bring my awareness to my heart and resonate with its love.
Naturally and easily my heart-love radiates through me.
Love is present now—rippling in to the future, releasing the past.
-Play the Guiding Thought here (loops automatically). Journey of the Heart audio created by Brad Vanlandingham for Susanwithpearls-
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The movie the Odd Life of Timothy Green came out in 2012. It’s about a couple who can’t have children, so they accidentally “wish” for one, burying a small box in the backyard which contains every attribute they want in their child written down in it—everything they could wish for. A boy suddenly shows up who exhibits everything they wrote down! Their every wish come true!
The movie is about fulfillment and loss, with one lesson in “be careful what you wish for”.
There is a lot of talk these days about the energy of attraction, magnetizing, manifesting, and generally using energy to get what you want. I’m in. I like figuring this stuff out as much as the next person.
But, I don’t see a lot about the caveat “be careful what you wish for”. It almost seems like quite the opposite, as though people think when they learn this attraction-magnetizing stuff all their problems will be solved and they can have whatever they want. Maybe that is right and I just haven’t figured it out yet. But, maybe there’s more to it.
Here’s what I mean. Let’s say for example someone says, “I want to be a millionaire by the time I’m 30”. This person then proceeds to work 80 hours a week, sucking up to anyone who they think will give them tips (monetary or intellectual) or money, and treating anyone else as inferior. The work hours take their toll on this person’s health, and they certainly don’t have time for friends or a meaningful relationship. They’ve made their first million by age 30…but at what cost?
I have no doubt that we can manifest what we put our minds to. I just think it’s important to think about implications and consequences, for ourselves and others, as we do.
It’s a really good reason to use the phrase, “with free will and for the highest good of all”.
This is a protection phrase. When you add it to your “I want” statement, it assures you nothing is going to come back to harm you or others (not “bite you in the ass”, in other words). It protects you from yourself and protects others from any action you may take through ignorance or thoughtlessness in your pursuit of getting what you want.
If I have to hurt anyone to get what I want, why would I want it anyway? There’s already too much of that in the world.
We are setting the stage for ourselves to move forward in this year of Journeys. The heart always wants the highest good for all. The heart always wants your-my-our highest good. In the heart, this is natural; in the head, we have to use the words, literally to think it as a tag line so that our minds get on board with what is already natural for our hearts: With free will and for the highest good of all.
SusanWithPearls 