Journey of Worth

Journey of Worth 2.0: Afterword

susanwithpearls Being, Cause & Effect, Choices, Enlightenment, Inspiration , , , ,

This has been a really, really good after-Journey break.

I generally use the Afterword to assess “how I did” on the recently ended Journey. One thing about assessment: This is not a time to be critical of yourself in a negative way! Assessment does not mean judging something as “good” or “bad” (at least in this case); it does mean thinking about “where I was” and “where I am”, then using that as a springboard for “where I am going”, in a completely, open, loving, and accepting way. That’s right: I am saying to be open, loving, and accepting of yourself and your process. Assessment also looks at what I committed to at the beginning of the Journey, and if I followed through; in other words, did I keep the agreements I made with myself?

I am finding more and more that the “where I am going” becomes revealed through the Journey. The Journey itself becomes a springboard for the next Journey. The “where I am going” is not so much that I am deciding where I want to be, as it is that I am allowing myself to be lead to where I (really) want to be.

Let me demonstrate by going through my own process, so you can see it:

Assessment

Where I was: There were two main points that I focused on, when I began Journey of Worth 2.0:

General self-esteem and overall self-value (Self-love)

Understanding that just because I am not as “good” as I want to be (“expectations”), I should not devalue who/what I am now (i.e. valuing the being equal to the becoming)

Where I am: I am different than I was when I started this Journey. This is the first time that the difference from beginning to end is so clear to me. Here is what I have been experiencing, which is different than it/I was 8 weeks ago:

There have been several times over the past 8 weeks when I spontaneously and for no reason have thought, “I love myself”. Then, realizing what I have just thought, I began to think about how that is actually true. I love myself. I think about who I am as a person; I think about how I have good will toward others; I think about my personality, my general demeanor and I actually like and love myself. Now, this only lasts for a few minutes in that bubble of realization, but nonetheless, there has been a bubble of realization a few times, without trying!

It has been easier to center myself in Love in both “normal” and “difficult” situations. This is what I mean: when I am going through my day, with family, colleagues, random people in stores, etc., I do my best to hold love in my mind and heart during the interactions, asking Love to be present, offering myself with a quick thought of, “how can I be helpful?” I don’t always remember, and I do not always sustain it for the entire interaction. BUT, I’ve been remembering more; it’s been easier (effortless) to remember; and I can remember to hold it longer. In addition, there have been a few stressful/difficult situations where I was able (simply) to do it–remembering Love while being stressed has not always been quick or easy, but it seems to be becoming more so.

I don’t seem to be as worried about the future. I seem to have less personality-investment in what I want, or in how I want something.  Let me take a moment to explain why this is important for Journey of Worth: The ultimate worth is Divine Love, and allowing Divine Love in my life. When I allow Divine Love, then Divine Love is what I experience. Divine Love is bigger than me, bigger than anything I can currently understand; It has a much better idea of what is best for me than I do. When I am worried about the future, I am not allowing Divine Love to flow, with its greater knowledge of what’s best for me. Not investing myself in my future means allowing Divine Love in my life, and all of the worthwhile things it brings.

Did I keep my agreements with myself? In the Commitment and Dedication, I committed to these things: 1) a daily prayer for Divine Love and Light for all of the 7.125 humans on the planet 2) a change to the practice of earth, and working out.  How did I do? 1) I did accomplish the prayer for Divine Light and Love for all humans on the planet each day. However, there were days when I “didn’t feel it”, days when it was difficult to accomplish, days when I felt like my mind and heart were not “fully into it”. On these days, when it was difficult or I wasn’t fully “there”, I acknowledged how I felt, acknowledged my feelings, acknowledged that I was doing the best I could at that moment, did the prayer, and then moved on, with the intention of being able to do it better. 2) I have been working out, although I have missed some of my scheduled days. I have also not maintained the “very healthy” diet I had wanted to (somewhat, mostly, but not completely). I am satisfied with what I have done, but I recognize the need to continue, and the need to continue to improve.

Where I am going: During the 10 days of rest, there is a deceleration on the one hand (from the just-ended Journey), and an acceleration on the other hand (the Journey that is about to begin). In this case, I have felt the acceleration in the form of recurring thoughts from the recent Journey. Which thoughts? These:

Transformation through the light of Love is the only way to change the pain, suffering, guilt, or blame in anyone, at any time. Transformation, transmutation changes everything. This is the secret to dispelling karma, this is the secret to unraveling death, this is the secret to getting out of the birth-death cycle: Love. Transformative, transfiguring, transmuting LOVE. The old is gone. Love remains. Love is all there is. (See Of Course, Of Course)

This is where I leave you in suspense. This is the springboard to Why a Journey of Healing. June 6th is the day I begin; I hope you join me!

P.S. I just realized my days are off. June 6 gives me an 11 day break, instead of a 10 day break. Ooooops! But, it has been June 6 on the calendar since January, so June 6 it remains. See you then! With Love to you and happiness and gratitude for all you are!

“Of Course, of Course”: Journey of Worth 2.0 – Day 40

susanwithpearls Be who you are, Being, Cause & Effect, Choices, Dignity, Enlightenment, Everything changes, Heart, Inspiration, Integrity, Kindness Matters, Love, What happens here , , , , ,
Copyright Tam Black 2016 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2016
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Cracking The Oyster

Happy…Wednesday (apparently)! Welcome to Day 40!

It’s the final day of Journey of Worth…and it’s been a bit of a nail-biter here towards the end. I can’t think of another Journey that’s gone quite the way this one has. That’s not to say it was bad, it wasn’t; it was different, that’s for sure!

Information on the next Journey is in here too, for those who are following along! And now, Sus takes the next 10 days to ruminate and recuperate!

So, grab yourself a temperature appropriate beverage (I’m thinking something COLD), get to your favorite cushy reading spot, and as always…

ENJOY! 😀

-Tam

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Guiding Thought

If I am to be my Self in the world, I must be for others as well as myself. There is no other.

I am willing to be receptive to the Infinite Love of All. I am willing to understand how I must rise above the struggles and pains of the world. I am willing to rise again and again with each call for help, each outstretched hand. I am willing to be the one to choose to change. I offer my pain, suffering, guilt and blame up for transformation, into the light of Love that I may see and give only the light of Love always.

 

Sharing

Thank you for being here, for sharing this Journey with me. Here we are at day 40! I have to acknowledge something: I never did come back to addressing what I wrote on day 25. That day, I wrote:

Here’s the bottom line: Material things (like a physical body, food, water, shelter, loving relationships) are necessary to live as human beings. We can use things to seek the Divine or we can use things to support the ego-lower mind. The more things we devote to seeking the Divine, the more we are given to use to seek the Divine. How responsible are you? How do you use the gifts you have? Are you grateful, or do you always want more?

This will be the direction for the rest of this Journey, bringing all this together a little better.

This never became the direction and it’s been weighing on me a bit, because I really strive to do what I say I am going to do, and in this, I did not. The good news is: we have this discussion to look forward to!

I hope you have enjoyed your inner exploration these past 40 days (or however many days you participated). I know I always enjoy it. Today, remember to pat yourself on the back, give yourself a hug, be glad you are giving yourself the gift of your Self.  Then, take a few days off, then do an assessment/review in the next week or so; write about how you feel looking back over these 40 days… You’ll see my assessment in the next week or so by way of the “Afterword”. Then, gear up for Journey of Healing! I’ll be here with you–we start June 6.

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A couple of days ago, I illustrated how my consciousness has changed (I Epiphanied Myself). This is more pronounced today. When I started this Journey, and before, I would read this Guiding Thought and work at understanding it, and how to apply it in my life. Now, I read it and think “of course”.

Of course, there is no other–we are all one, all in this together. Anything I do for myself is inherently also for you; anything I do for you is inherently also for myself. It does not matter what I do or who I do it “to” or “for”–it all affects all of us equally in the grand scheme.

Of course I am willing to be receptive to the Infinite Love of All. How else can I provide Love to all, if I cannot first receive it?

Of course I am willing to understand how I must rise above the struggles and pains of the world. If I don’t rise above, how will you rise above? If I do not do it for myself, for you, how will we ever do it together?

Of course I am willing to rise again and again with each call for help, each outstretched hand. You are my brother; you are my sister; you are my Self. Of course I rise, I help.

Of course I must be willing to be the one to choose to change. People learn by example; I must be the change I want to see in the world. I must be true to my devotion to Love and Truth, and thereby be True to you.

Of course I must offer my pain, suffering, guilt and blame up for transformation. Transformation through the light of Love is the only way to change the pain, suffering, guilt or blame in anyone, at any time. Transformation, transmutation changes everything. This is the secret to dispelling karma, this is the secret to unraveling death, this is the secret to getting out of the birth-death cycle: Love. Transformative, transfiguring, transmuting LOVE. The old is gone. Love remains. Love is all there is.

Of course I may see and give only the light of Love always. Love is all there is. I must be the Love, give the Love, until we all be and give the Love we are Wholly, Equally, in perfect and holy Union.

“Timing A Jigsaw”: Journey of Worth 2.0 – Day 39

susanwithpearls Be who you are, Being, Cause & Effect, Choices, Dignity, Enlightenment, Everything changes, Heart, Inspiration, Integrity, Love, What happens here , , , , ,
Copyright Tam Black 2016 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2016
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

I extend the Love that I am, for that is all I truly am. As I learn to be aware, to understand and to Know my own will as Love, and make choices according to that will, my life experiences become worthy of me. Expressing my Self that is wholly Love and United with All is the only choice that is worthwhile. It is the only thing that brings me satisfaction, the only choice that allows me to experience my Self—the Love that I am. My-your-our- freedom depends on my right choices, depends on my choosing what is worthy and what is not; it depends on me, depends on you, depends on us.

 

Sharing

I am learning balance, and there’s a time/season for everything. There’s a balance between patience and rushing forward. There’s a balance between “putting it all out there” and being a bit reserved. There is a time for exposure and a time for protection, for applying my time/love/energy/will toward one thing, and for applying it to another thing.

The thing is, I don’t always have control over what the balance is or what the timing is, in fact, rarely do I! The “learning balance and timing” perhaps has more to do with learning to feel what the proper activity or inactivity is at any given moment.

I have been inwardly very active, but outwardly no so much. The inner activity is building toward something; I can feel it. The timing is not here yet, though. And I don’t know when that timing will happen. That is why I am learning patience.

When you do a jigsaw puzzle, there is most often a picture of the finished puzzle on the outside of the box: you know what you are working toward. Life is like a jigsaw puzzle with no picture on the box. There are just the pieces given to you, and the Universe says, “Take it or leave it; you figure out where the pieces go in your picture, or if you want them in your picture at all”.

The more attuned I am to the Universe’s flow, the more I can feel where or how the pieces fit, even if I can’t see how they fit. I just know the piece fits somewhere, somehow. Every experience, every moment, every relationship is a potential piece that I must figure out.

As I work with LOVE the more confidence I have that the pieces actually fit together: there is less that is random or that feels “off”. I express the Love that I am, for that is all I truly am–and then I experience (get pieces returned to me), more of the truth (more of the picture).

“Giving Effort And Patience The Finger”: Journey of Worth 2.0 – Day 38

susanwithpearls Be who you are, Being, Cause & Effect, Choices, Enlightenment, Everything changes, Heart, Inspiration, Integrity, Love, What happens here , , , , ,
Copyright Tam Black 2016 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2016
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

I am worth the effort it requires to move my mind to Love. I am worth the time of waiting, in patience, for Knowing to arrive. Every moment, every second that I open to simply being willing for Love to enter is a moment offered to Eternity; a moment offered to healing, a moment offered to Unity.

Love simply settles slowly, quietly, gently, beyond sense-perception. So I must wait in patience and take the effort to move my mind to join the quiet stillness of Love. Here I rest. Here is Peace. Here is all I want and need.

 

Sharing

Tam asked me recently if I was getting burned out on the Journeys. I responded, that sometimes I go through a period within the Journey where I feel pretty numb, brain-dead, deflated, or exhausted, but I just consider those days as part of the Journey–it comes; it goes. No, I am not getting burned out on the Journeys. If anything, I wish I had more time to give them; when I really get into them, they energize and refresh me. When I started the Journeys in 2013, I was doing a lot of research in conjunction with them, looking for lots of different perspectives on what “worth” or “healing” or “purpose” mean in different traditions, cultures, or thought systems. If anything, I want to do more of that–I want to get back to doing that kind of research for each of the Journeys, looking for more detail, understanding, interconnections, or more refinement. I am just one voice; there are lots of things to say about these topics, lots of ideas to explore–I’d like to be able to bring those to you as I trek along.

This is relevant to today’s Guiding Thought because in many ways the Guiding Thought is about allowing Divine Order, in Divine Time–waiting in patience. The worse I “do” patience, the more it seems like the universe makes me wait. I really want the time to do these Journeys (and more of all I do), more. But it’s not time, it seems, so I keep going as I am.

Recently a kindred soul wrote:

“If the Universe were to TRY to keep up with what YOU THOUGHT was the “RIGHT” timing, it would throw complete chaos into a perfectly running system.  We think we REALLY want something – BUT give us 20 minutes, or a day, or a month, and we’ve already changed our perspective, or altogether moved on to something else.

The Universe only does what We should do –  focus on IT’S Intent. IT’s been here a lot longer than any of us.  It holds Galaxies together!  It made sure YOU were the winning sperm and egg out of millions, didn’t it!!   IT knows when conditions are best for ALL parties involved!” (see: Momentum Mikey, Intention and the Finger)

He’s so right! This is why “I am worth the effort it requires to move my mind to Love. I am worth the time of waiting, in patience, for Knowing to arrive.” –Because the Universe knows what it is doing a heckuva lot better than I do.

Don’t confuse waiting with passivity, however. There is activity in waiting. The activity is “moving my mind to Love” or, in Momentum Mikey’s case, focusing on the intent of the Universe. The mind is active, while the body waits. The mind is developing, getting clearer, allowing Love and Intent. The mind is applying effort to meet the Universe where IT is.

Why am I “worth” this effort? Because Divine Will (or the Intent of the Universe), is the ONLY thing that will satisfy me. Momentum Mikey says, “We think we REALLY want something – BUT give us 20 minutes, or a day, or a month, and we’ve already changed our perspective, or altogether moved on to something else.” This is because even though those things might be easy and require little effort there is nothing except Divine Will, or the Intent of the Universe, that will satisfy us. Chasing anything less than the Divine ultimately ends in disappointment.

Either put in the effort to align yourself with Divine Will, or exhaust yourself in vapid, meaningless pursuits.

“I Epiphanied Myself”: Journey of Worth 2.0 – Day 37

susanwithpearls Being, Cause & Effect, Choices, Dignity, Enlightenment, Everything changes, Heart, Inspiration, Integrity, Kindness Matters, Love, What happens here , , , , ,
Copyright Tam Black 2016 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2016
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

I claim who I am, the essence of my Self, established in and by Love. My Self shines with the strength, beauty and power of its essence, Love. As I open to my Self, accept my Self, and Love my Self, the Life of Unity infuses all my activity and transforms my consciousness. Life as my Self renews my Joy and restores my trust in Life itself.

 

Sharing

Sometimes it’s difficult to understand the meaning of “transforming consciousness”. What is consciousness, anyway? What’s more, sometimes it feels like there is so little change, or the change is happening so slowly, it’s difficult to tell if this spirituality “stuff” is working anyway, much less working in the way it’s “supposed to”–I get hung up on this a lot. How can I talk about what this stuff is, what Consciousness Journeys are, when I have trouble explaining it to myself?

I had a bit of a breakthrough this morning in this regard: I understand a bit better how to explain consciousness, how it applies to these Journeys, and how these Journeys are moving me into a “higher” consciousness. Here it is:

Some of the basic precepts of this Journey, and all of these Journeys, are 1) Love is all there is. 2) I am Love’s image, established in and by Love 3) because Love is all there is, everything is equal in Love; everything is One in Love 4) as I come to understand Love’s Oneness and Unity, my life opens to Love everywhere and in everything 5) when I realize Love is everywhere and in everything, I only want to approach all of life as the Love I am, as the Love it is.

Simply put, the more I am aware of this, able to understand it, and Know it, so that my life is Love and expresses Love, the higher my consciousness.

How do you know where your consciousness “is at”? –How much love are you aware of? Are your thoughts, words, and actions loving, kind, patient (compassionate, forgiving, etc.)? How much love is in your mind and heart? Do you see everything as One and Equal to you? Think about these things, and any more you come up with, on a scale of 1-10: How loving am I today? You’ll start becoming aware of where your consciousness is.

These Journeys increase your awareness and understanding of your own relationship with your Self and with Love. That’s why they are Consciousness Journeys. These are Journeys because there is always more–Love is infinite, regardless of where you are, there is further to go. Simply doing these Journeys raises your consciousness higher; it is what this process does, inherently. Every day, I am increasing how aware I am of Love’s presence within myself and in my life.

I had a very tangible understanding of how this works today. I’ll illustrate for you:

How do you think about someone who has “done you wrong”?

  1. I take revenge with self-satisfaction
  2. I take revenge, feeling justified in providing “karmic retribution”
  3. I ask God to take revenge for me
  4. I think vindictive thoughts of revenge, but do not act
  5. I think “what comes around goes around” and know that somehow this wrong will be righted
  6. I wish/pray for bad things to happen to the person who wronged me, and want that person to reap what s/he has sown
  7. I turn the other cheek, forgive and forget
  8. I think/pray for the wrongs to be transmuted with Love, and wish for any wrongs done to that person, by me or anyone else, be righted through Love.

Now, I’ve never really been a vengeful, vindictive person. But…I have thought that I want someone else to experience their karma coming back on them; at its worst, I have actually wanted to witness this, so that I could revel in watching another person “get theirs”.

In my mind, I would think, “This is the Law of the Universe, right? ‘As you sow, so shall you reap’, so I am not wanting anything for this person that isn’t rightfully theirs, or that isn’t part of the natural order. I just want the Universe to do what it does…” And thus, the whole idea of karma was neutral in my mind: I didn’t need to do anything, and if I wanted karma for another person, it was acceptable, because I wasn’t asking for anything other than what the Universe would do anyway.

Sometimes this was the highest I could get: Neutrality (or so I thought).

At other times, I have been very good at forgiving–or, I prefer the term overlooking, because it does not have as much [potential] self-righteousness. When I overlook something, I get to a place of choosing my priorities (for example, “do I want to be right or happy”); I get to a place of seeing a bigger picture, of not blaming or judging, and I am able to act and feel like “it’s all in the past”. Many times I have done this purely. But forgiveness can have its own baggage, in the form of feeling superior (or self-righteous), or internalizing/suppressing something so that I don’t deal with it in that person or the situation (and this can have some self-righteousness to it). So, depending on how purely I am able to bring True forgiveness to a situation, it may or may not be high- or higher-consciousness.

These two things, Karmic neutrality and forgiveness have been the “highest” I’ve been, pretty much. I thought I was doing really well.

It was just this morning, that I realized that H) above, is even higher in consciousness. Here’s why:

If I want karmic retribution for another, then, I am really wanting it for myself (there is no other, we are all One). Despite thoughts of fairness and laws of the universe, I am asking for Karma to come back and bite me in the arse, when my time comes. Why would I want that? Especially if there is another option?

With forgiveness, even though I come to a place of harmony through forgiveness, it does nothing to stunt the “negative” or to bring Love to it. It leaves that energy “out there”, within the vibration or energy field of the other person, their life, continuing to influence them, and thereby influencing all.

What I know through this Journey is that no one is free until we are all free. So, anyone else’s Karma is also affecting me; anyone else’s energy affects me too, whether or not I’ve forgiven or overlooked. We are all equal in Love; Love is all there is; Love is Unity; we are all One.

What do I want for myself? Love. To transmute and transform anything that is not like Love into Love, through Love. How could I not want this for another? And now I do.

 

“Merit…And Then Some”: Journey of Worth 2.0 – Day 36

susanwithpearls Being, Cause & Effect, Choices, Enlightenment, Heart, Inspiration, Integrity, Kindness Matters, Love , , , , ,
Copyright Tam Black 2016 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2016
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

We are ALL One. I am not alone. Alone becomes All One in Unity and Healing. I am that which you are, which we become together. There is no separation—we mend the pieces: At One there are no limits, at One there are no boundaries. At One I am free—with you.

 

Sharing

Today is Saka Dawa, the celebration of Shakyamuni Buddha’s birth and parinirvana. It is said that the merit of any good done on this day is increased a million fold.

So, I began to wonder…does doing this Journey today count? Does taking special care of my dog count? Do all of the little things that I do today, that I also do on a daily basis, for the birds, the squirrels, my home, my family count? Do I need to pay special attention to the good that I am doing, and make any special prayer of intention today, in order for it to count?

I have come to the conclusion (and you may counter this, if you like), that it all counts—whether you put specific emphasis for Saka Dawa on a good deed today or not, any good deed counts.

I have, for a while, been working with the idea of magnifying merit. One of the daily meditations I do has the line, “Reach your great loving hands of light into all positively qualified energy of my earthly sojourn, and draw it forth a thousand times”. Why not a million times? Why not a billion times? The point is, that light and love undo any and all impurities or mis-creations.

The question is, how much is enough? When will all impurities be purified? When will all mis-creations be transmuted? When will the point come, when we no longer need a thousand, or a million, times the merit, because we all simply love one another?

Having enough, doing enough, being enough: this all exists (or does not exist) in consciousness. We all already are and have everything. It is only our consciousness that keeps us from it. It is with the consciousness of Oneness, Unity, Wholeness, that we know ourselves as everything. Until we all have the consciousness of Oneness, Unity, Wholeness, there will still be parts of ourselves that we need to bring into the consciousness of Oneness, Unity, Wholeness.  “At One I am free–with you.” And only with you. Freedom is not complete, until all parts know themselves together, as One.

May you be free! May you know Divine Love enfolds you, and transmutes all your mis-creations! May you trust Divine order. May you be happy today and always!

Happy Saka Dawa!

“My Spiritual Nerdism: Consistency And Intensity”: Journey of Worth 2.0 – Day 35

susanwithpearls Being, Cause & Effect, Choices, Dignity, Enlightenment, Everything changes, Heart, Inspiration, Integrity, What happens here , , , , ,
Copyright Tam Black 2016 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2016
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

There is only one Will. That Will is Love. That Will is my Love, your Love, our Love, together. Only when I will in Love is the outcome assured in Love. Only when I will in Love do I know the results are truly beneficial to all, including myself. Only when I will with Love am I Free and I affirm with certainty “All is as it should be”.

 

Sharing

“On a scale of 1-10,

how intense am I today?

how focused am I today?

how loving am I today?

how patient am I today?

how attuned am I today?

how balanced am I today?

how much do I feel in the flow today?

how connected to Divine Love do I feel today?

how clear do I feel today?”

These kinds of questions are always going on in the background of my mind. I am always checking in, doing a self-assessment. Thinking about where I am and where I am going. I’ve thought about keeping track of my numbers and then graphing them; that’s the kind of nerd I am. I really would do this (okay, I’ve even started it a couple of times).

I consider 5 to be my own personal neutral, normal. It takes some time to become accustomed to one’s own “normal” with these questions–everyone is different, and only you can decide what your “3” or “5” or “10” is.

 

Most of the time, I am a 5 or higher (pretty even overall) with moments of “better than normal”. There are of course, days like yesterday, when something happens and I just get all out of whack.

The goal is for your normal “feel good” to shift a bit higher up that 1-10 spectrum; your 5 becomes a 7 or 8, 90% of the time, a new normal “feel good”.

To do this, you have to first know how to get yourself “up”. You have to know what you can do to clear and balance yourself, how to get yourself into a flow, how to transmute disruptive emotions into peace, love, and harmony. You need to work at figuring out how to get yourself from a 3 to a 5, or from a 5 to 7.

Here are a few things that other people have suggested along the way:

Exercise

Yoga

Prayer

Prana/breathing

Reiki

Meditation

Walking the dog

Taking a bath

Painting or creating something artistic

Writing

The point is, there are things that people do, and when they do them, they just feel better. People do these things, for example, when they are at a 3, in order to get to a 5 (“I am really stressed out, I need to go for a run”).

People who do things consistently that make themselves feel better, are constantly walking around feeling better, because they are being pro-active to stay feeling better.  And if that is the case, if they did just a bit more, they could conceivably raise their “normal” to a higher normal by simply adding enough activity to make themselves feel that much better.

Why am I even talking about this?

Oh, yeah…because…I have been thinking about my intensity, especially that of my intention, this past week. I feel like I have slid back a bit on intensity, and am at…maybe a 3. I’ve heard stories about musical performers who go on tour, performing the same songs day after day, week after week, and they have to bring the same (very high) intensity to every performance, otherwise they will let their fans down. But where do they come up with that kind of intensity day after day, week after week (that’s not drug or alcohol induced)? It’s that kind of intensity I am talking about.

I expect myself to be thoroughly in it. Completely involved, intense, focused, attentive doing these Journeys. But, I am not there yet, not at a point where I can do that. I still deflate. There still comes a point that feels like I’ve had too much, and my brain shuts down, literally, it’s like my brain cannot lift itself out of whatever quagmire it’s in.

There are traditions and practices which require attention  24 hours a day, thorough immersion, unfailingly. In these practices, one is engaged with the practice with every breath, in every thought, in all speech and action. I strive toward that. And I know I am getting better, after all…I’m doing a 40-day Journey every 52 days; that is not the activity of a slacker! But I do wonder about my overall progress, and if I am moving up the scale toward 10 being a new 5.

 

“Show Me Your Teeth”: Journey of Worth 2.0 – Day 34

susanwithpearls Being, Cause & Effect, Choices, Dignity, Enlightenment, Everything changes, Heart, Inspiration, Integrity, Love, What happens here , , , , ,
Copyright Tam Black 2016 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2016
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Guiding Thought

My worth is inestimable, beyond compare!

I always know I have everything to give—thus, I may always give freely! I know my worth, I give it; I give freely, and I Know in the giving!

As I give, I learn, allowing Joy and Peace to lead and to guide me. I follow willingly for I know: Where there is Joy and Peace, there is Love; where there is Love, I am; where I am, I am giving my inestimable worth.

 

Sharing

HO! This Journey has not had a pattern like any of the other Journeys. I did NOT hit a wall in the first 14 days; I was pumped and feeling completed by the end of Round 3, and now…NOW… I am feeling totally, quite honestly, really annoyed and pissed off (yes, a reaction to something that happened) –something very unusual for me, and especially unusual at this time of the Journey.

So what do I do with this, this feeling? How do I get back on track? How do I clear my mind? How do I settle back into my Self, into my own sense of feeling Peace?? Argh! In this state, I must apologize; the Journey has gotten off track (which, on these Journeys… is still part of the Journey, the detour that takes me exactly where I needed to go and didn’t know it!)

“Allowing Peace and Love to Guide me”–that’s what I am (trying) to focus on now. Following my thoughts of Peace and Love; they can keep me on track, along with some appropriate music, Teeth by Lady Gaga, on endless repeat. (see below)

It was Richard Bach’s reluctant messiah who taught me to open a book to any page, read it, and see how it speaks to me at that moment. In this spirit, anything and everything can speak to me, at any moment–everything is a reflection, everything is my Self, everything shows me my Self.

In this spirit, I must ask Why this song? I thought I was putting it on because it’s got a good beat. But there’s more. It’s speaking to me.  >REALLY????<

This is what Lady Gaga says about this song: “It is meant to mean two things, the first one kind of juvenile sexual provocative connotation is about oral sex, but also the monster in the song is fear of the truth. ‘Show me your teeth’ means ‘tell me the truth’ and I think that for a long time in my life that I replaced sex with the truth.”

Wow, I totally get it now; it has only repeated 15 times.  Contrasted to the sexual lyrics are the lyrics about replacing religion (or, may I say “truth”?) with sex:

“Got no salvation

Got no religion

My religion is you…

No one’s perfect…

I just need a little guidance

Tell me something that’ll save me

My religion is you”

 

In the midst of sex, there is the insistence on “show me your teeth”, tell me the truth. By saying “show me your teeth”, the sex becomes like the reluctant messiah’s book: it becomes the reflection which shows the truth, it becomes the answer to the question that is asked, or the request that is made. You don’t get an answer if you don’t ask; if you ask, you get an answer, whether you like it or not.

OK, now we’re getting somewhere. What have I replaced truth with? It’s kind of like asking, “Would you rather be right or happy”? In my case, in this case, would you rather have >fill in the blank< or Peace and Love? What are my priorities? Where is my focus? What am I hiding from? What am I hiding behind? What do I think I am going to get from feeling annoyed and angry? What are those feelings replacing?

Now it’s repeated about 24 times…but who’s counting?

I do not have answers to those questions right now (but the questions themselves have advanced my processing of the situation). But I do have two thoughts in response:

1) A Course in Miracles says (paraphrased): it does not matter how big or small the disturbance. Every disturbance prevents the experience of peace. Just as there is no order of difficulty of Miracles (all miracles are created equally), there is also no order in the order of disturbance of peace: all disturbance of peace is equal. Either you choose to experience peace, or you choose the disturbance.

Sometimes the choice is not simple or easy. Sometimes emotions are just there and it takes effort to make the choice (like now, this). But it’s still a choice, either to go through the process to let those feelings go and allow Peace and Love, or continue wallowing in feelings that prevent the experience of Love and Peace.

2) One of the meditations that I do every day says this (paraphrased): Everyone has free will. Even when all of the blocks to Divine Love are removed, people can re-create their mis-creations by focusing on those mis-creations, rather than living in the standard of Divine Love.

It’s my responsibility. Maybe right now, right here, Divine Love has totally cleared all of my mis-creations, and is just waiting for me to turn my focus, my attention, my energy, my whole being to It, 100%.

It’s really all or nothing. Miracles or disturbances. I’m not there yet, not perfectly, not completely. Thank goodness I am not afraid to see teeth.
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And now, a word from our sponsor…CONTENT WARNING…

While deciding to include the video for “Teeth” by Lady Gaga, Tam and I had a rather lengthy discussion as to how we would go about sharing this due to the artist, content, and the fact this is a spiritual blog that reaches many different types of people across the planet.

Music is the universal language for a reason. While taking into account the video is very “campy”, we know the artist, herself, is considered quite controversial throughout areas that practice Islam, Catholicism, and even strong conservative Christianity. The video itself contains no nudity, there is no overly-strong sexual content (PG about on the scale of a Chippendale show where everyone keeps their pants on), or violence either, but we wanted to point out unless you are LGBTQ friendly, you will want to refrain from watching this particular video.

We value our readers here at WP and wanted to give you the choice, with full disclosure, as to whether or not you viewed this video. For those who wish to view it, it is available at the following outside link.

“Teeth” by Lady Gaga

“Do Right”: Journey of Worth 2.0 – Day 33

susanwithpearls Be who you are, Being, Cause & Effect, Choices, Dignity, Enlightenment, Everything changes, Heart, Inspiration, Integrity, Love, What happens here , , , , ,
Copyright Tam Black 2016 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2016
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

I know my Self when I share my Self. As I give my Self, I see my Source returned to me. All that is Whole, all that is Beauty, all that is Holy, reflects back to me in the Joy of Being, in the brilliance of Life, in the Unity of Self. I choose to share only the Self of Beauty, Wholeness, and Joy, that I may Know my Self as Beauty, Wholeness, and Joy.

 

Sharing

I’ve been living in tension these past few days. This does not mean that I feel stressed out, or that I am tense. I mean it this way:

There’s something pulling me forward through tension, antagonism, and strife. I feel the pull, I can even imagine the “ought” – I can see there is something better, right up there, just around that corner…I’m headed to it, I know I am; yet here I am, caught in the is that is the tension moving me forward. —Is, Ought, Kant, Can (Full article here)

It feels like the tension of transition. I’ve felt this before, when I’ve had the sense that there is an impending change. This feeling began with my near-panic attack a few days ago. Now, I feel uncomfortable; I feel unsettled. I feel like I don’t know what’s going on around me, like I don’t know how to interpret anything. Everything is swirling around me (figuratively) and I am really working hard to hold on to what is real and not get swept away in the uncertain chaos of my mind’s imagination.

This is also the tension I described at the very beginning of this Journey, which I vowed to work on during this Journey: “In the tension between becoming and being, I must maintain equal love and acceptance both of who I am and of who I am becoming” (see Why a Journey of Worth).  This is the growth of becoming, which means letting go of false-ego-lower parts of myself, clearing away and making room for more Truth of my Self.

In this space, this Guiding Thought is really hard to accept. There’s too much that feels erratic for me to see Beauty or Holiness around me. Yet, I know that it is precisely Beauty, Holiness, Wholeness, and Joy which are where I am headed; these are “the tension moving me forward”. The chaos and the swirling are all those parts of me I am letting go of, spinning off.

When I have been in this mental/emotional space at other times in my life, I’ve always taken time every day to do what I call, “getting my mind right”. What that means is praying in the morning, with great focus and intention for the highest, most loving outcome. It also means feeling incredibly small and ignorant because I have absolutely no idea what that highest and most loving outcome is, so it means strengthening my trust.

I am not unfamiliar with this feeling. Now just feels a whole lot more intense than I have ever felt before; I need to get my mind right constantly, every moment, not just for a period of time every morning.

As I was praying last night, I worked at sifting through my doubts, and figuring out what I know, and what I trust. This is what I came up with: I know with absolute certainty that my heart is “in the right place”, all the time: I know that I want to do what is right by God; I know that I want to do what is mine to do, with Divine Will. I also know with absolute certainty that God always comes through for me, in the best, highest, most loving way possible. It’s not always what I think, or what I think I want, but it’s always right.  And I thought, “God is always True to me”. And I realized, that regardless of what I know about where my heart is, or my certainty of wanting to do what is right, sometimes I am not True to God, equal to God being True to me. That hit me hard, so my prayer became, “May I be True to You. Give me the strength to be True to You, as You are to me.”

I know this is a transition. I know this tension. I am ok. I will get through this. Everything changes. Nothing is as it seems. To remind myself of this, I’ve been saying to myself frequently, “we’ll see…”

There was an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years.  One day his prized horse ran away.  Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit.

“Such bad luck,” they clucked sympathetically.

The farmer replied, “We’ll see…”

The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses.

“How wonderful!” the neighbors exclaimed.

The old man replied, just as calmly as before, “We’ll see…”

The following day, his only son tried to ride one of the untamed horses.  Alas, the wild horse threw him off its back and the son broke his leg and became lame. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune.

Looking at a distance, the farmer answered, “We’ll see…”

Soon after, a terrible war broke out with the neighboring country.  Military officials came to the village to draft all the able-bodied young men into the army.  Seeing that the farmer’s son was lame, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out.

The farmer said, “We’ll see…”

“Lead By Example”: Journey of Worth 2.0 – Day 32

susanwithpearls Be who you are, Being, Cause & Effect, Choices, Dignity, Enlightenment, Everything changes, Heart, Inspiration, Integrity, Kindness Matters, Love, What happens here , , , , ,
Copyright Tam Black 2016 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2016
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

I love myself for the Truth within me. The Truth within me Knows me for who I am—Pure Love, Only Love, beyond all valuing of the world. In Love all are equal, for we are One. This is how Truth Knows me—Pure, One, and Free. This is my Truth; this is our Truth; this is the Self I love.

 

Sharing

What do you do when you work really hard on knowing yourself as Love, on valuing that essential part of you and seeking only the Truth within…and so many people around you are focused on valuing money, climbing the business-success ladder, and material ambition? What about when those people judge you as lazy and complacent because you are not in their “climb-the-ladder-be-ambitious” mindset because they have no idea about the work you are doing on yourself to bring more love and light into the world?

That’s a rhetorical question. It’s aimed to get at how we–those of us working with Love and Light on a daily basis, in the world–deal with people and situations who “aren’t there”, and who value other things.

In times past, people who worked with the higher vibrations, the energy of Love and Light, were those people who took a religious-spiritual path, within churches and organizations, as monks, nuns, servants of God in an established tradition. In these scenarios, the time and space was carved out and constructed in order to worship, pray, and devote one’s life to God. These people were surrounded by others like them; there was an implicit understanding of people’s purpose, and everyone was devoted to that purpose.

While these scenarios still exist today, there are also more diverse ways of serving the Divine–so many people are doing the work of Love and Light, as everyday people, with families, jobs, school, etc. We are everywhere!

And we are everywhere because we need to be. There are so many people and places that need our light. So, we go there. No longer do we have the luxury of sitting in reclusive meditation for 8 hours a day; our work is within…and out in the world. We are the Light-bringers, which means, we go to where Light is needed–and that means to the dark places. We must be our light, the light of Love, the Light of our True Selves, everywhere we are, everywhere we go, regardless of what others think or judge us to be.

We cannot change people. We especially cannot change people who want to hold on to misperceptions, smallness, or errors in thought. What we can do is remember our Selves. We can correct our own perceptions, expand into infinite Love, identify with Source, invite Divine Will to act through us, and be the Love and Light we are.

It is a new era–we are out there, in the world, working. It is not easy; we must be vigilant to maintain our Love, amidst people and situations who do not understand, who do not want to know.

All are called. Everyone is your brother, your sister–they are making their way to Love and Light, just as you are, just as you have. If you are further along the path, you are their light, their guiding hand, wherever you go. Lead by example.