My Purpose is to awaken to the Truth within me and share it. The Truth within me–My Inner Divine Mind–flows constantly and purely. As I go deeper in my awareness, the current of this broadens, strengthens, and brightens. It fills me and pours forth. This is My Source, the Source of all my good, all my happiness, and all my abundance. I awaken to My Inner Divine Mind and invite it to express itself as every person and event that will increase my awareness of it.                        

Initially my mind was pretty distracted. I kept reading the words, but they had no oomph, no substance, and no presence. My (distracted) thoughts were “good” thoughts—they were not of worry or strife or stress—they were of care and concern for friends who are having a difficult time…but still…those thoughts were not aiding my awakening to my purpose today.

“Focus,” I told myself. “Feel it!”

So I began to hone in on the words “broaden, strengthen, brighten.” Ah, yes. There it is—the flow (more like a long-drip). It grew to a trickle as I kept thinking about broadening, strengthening, brightening…and from there I was able to feel it fill me.

I kept reading the words, feeling it, and at “pours forth constantly, purely”, it really began to flow, though most of the words were still filler. The substance of my experience was in feeling the words “constantly, purely”.

Think how amazing that is…”constantly…purely”. Divine Mind, Divine Substance – the Source of all my good, that Knows my heart and wants me to be happy – is flowing constantly and purely through me, out of me, through my Own Loving Presence…sharing itself with you, with All, always.

Wow.

When I really think about that, feel that, I understand the word “awe” a little bit more.

And it’s pure. PURE. Clean. Undefiled. Unadulterated. And it comes through me—small, little, insignificant, silly me. It must have a sense of humor.

Ooooooohh. Wait.

…“small, little, insignificant, silly”…is that how I feel about myself? Am I? Do I feel that way? Or was that just a dose of healthy self-effacement? I did think it half-jokingly but it’s been said, the best jokes are funny because they have a touch of truth to them.

How can I awaken to my purpose if I’m not enough to handle it? How can I live my purpose if I am not worthy of it? If I think of myself as small and insignificant?

Ouch.

Divine Mind, Divine Substance, the Source of all my good, that wants me to be happy believes I am worthy of it.

What do I need to do for me to believe I am worthy of it?

My Inner Divine Mind is always expressing itself in all ways through my Own Loving Presence. This is its True Nature, thus this is my True Nature. I turn to my Inner Divine Mind as the Source of my happiness, my purpose and my fulfillment. I allow it to flow through my Own Loving Presence and appear as all my activity, as every visible form and experience I desire.

I did say that for this round, the goal was to go past words. How does one write when what is to be written is “past words”? I can describe or tell you what I saw or experienced, but that’s not really the point, is it?

How does one describe stillness, flow, and sensing life in “right order”? How does one describe feeling Divine Mind as the Source of happiness, as the source of right circumstance?

—

Often to begin, one of my starting points, as well as one of the points that I return to frequently is to ask myself questions like:

What is Divine Mind? What/who is God? What is Christ? Is it “the” Christ? What is Life? Who is Jesus? Who is Buddha? What is One Mind? What is Divine? What does it mean to be Holy? What is Oneness? What is Infinity?

And I try to get a sense for the answers to these questions.

The questions are not to raise doubt. It is rather like I am reaching out to these people/entities/concepts and saying, “Tell me about you. What do I need to know to understand you? What can you tell me now that I can integrate into myself and my experience…right now, today?

The approach is wonder, curiosity, and genuinely wanting to know.

Sometimes the questions provoke tears—feeling so small and insignificant that I wonder what matters, why I matter. What can I possibly contribute to a conversation with a Jesus, a Buddha, or Infinity? Often there are tears.

An answer always comes; a stillness, a peace, a calming reassurance; no words, just calming.

There is always an answer. It may even be the answer. It may be the answer that conveys eternity, infinity, and omniscience. But I am not yet at a point in my consciousness to hear eternity, to live infinitely, or to Know omnisciently.

So I keep asking…and integrating…and remembering to breathe and smile and live.

I am now fully conscious of my own Loving Presence which seeks expression through me. My Own Loving Presence Knows my heart and Knows my happiness. It Knows how to fulfill my heart and bring me joy by placing me in right situations, with right people, at right times where I may fully express my purpose. I submit my mind and heart, all my thoughts, words, and actions to my own Loving Presence to be lifted to her/his vision and plan for my life.

This round so far is less about the “words” than any previous round. It’s about feeling, connecting, and Knowing the truth, presence, and power of the words. That means: pausing with almost every phrase to let the words settle in, over, and within me.

This round is also about solidifying my choice. This is my choice! My purpose is my choice! I choose joy and peace—“peace which passeth all understanding”. It is also about extending that peace through life activities. Life activities are a learning tool; they teach me how to live in Peace. If I am not in peace, I must change—first within, then without; as within, so without. And when I have learned the lesson… life activity no longer becomes necessary as a teaching tool.

When all of life activity becomes the expression of Divine Mind, when all of life activity is the natural integration of Divine Will and life activity, when love and peace are the default (and only) approach and mindset… that is Living!

My own Loving Presence is my Self. I turn my attention inward and become aware of my own Loving Presence. With my focused awareness, my own Loving Presence fills me, grows brighter, and grows warmer. I claim my Self with these words:

I AM My Own Loving Presence.

My loving Presence is the Self of myself.

I love my Self!

I want to give my Self everything it desires–and my Self wants the same for me. What do I desire, but total Peace, Freedom, Love, and Harmony? These are the infinite and eternal qualities of my Self! I am now aware of the inner activity of my Own Loving Presence and I invite it to express itself through me and externalize in my life as circumstances, people, forms, and events that fulfill my desires.

If I am my own Loving Presence, then I am not:

My feelings,

My body,

My thoughts,

Or

My activities.

Although, these may all be ways that my own Loving Presence expresses and extends itself in the world.

If I do not love something about me, in me, expressed by me; I need only remember it is not me. I need not claim it or hold on to it or own it. I can let it go and claim only the Self that I love–the Self that wants my fulfillment in Love, Peace, and Freedom. If I am not experiencing love or peace or freedom in an activity, I can choose a different activity or choose to change my mind about how I approach that activity.

Introduction to Round 4

Welcome to Round 4. This is it, days 31-40, the final stretch.

In the first round, you affirmed your purpose for yourself, using “me”, “my”, “mine”. In the second round, you affirmed someone else’s purpose, using “you” and “your”. The third round gave you the choice to affirm to another using “he”, “him”, “she”, “her”, or to have someone else affirm you as the third person. Now in round 4, we come full circle and return to “you” as the subject, and repeat the Guiding Thought with “I”, “me”, and “mine”. Now that you have reached out to others to support their attainment of purpose in the second and third rounds, the words “I”, “me” and “mine” will take on a new tint. With the infusion of the all perspectives—“I”, “he”, and “you”—you will now no longer see yourself as separate or apart from others. Now, in claiming your purpose for yourself, your consciousness is attuned to claiming it for others as well. You will “see” others attaining their fulfillment with you.

In this round, there are two new points of focus. First, as you think about your Own Loving Presence or your Inner Divine Mind as the subject of the Guiding Thoughts, the goal is to move beyond the words and sense a direct connection with your Own Loving Presence and Inner Divine Mind. If only for a second or a moment, these direct experiences will fortify your mind and emotions, acting as assurance throughout your life activity that you are living in alignment with purpose.

The second point of focus is to allow all of the Guiding Thoughts to infuse each other. Allow your mind to link to other Guiding Thoughts as you go through the one for the day. For example, on the third day of this round (day 33), the Guiding Thought says, “It Knows how to fulfill my heart”, at that point, you may think back to day 32 that says, “What do I desire, but total Peace, Freedom, Love, and Harmony?” Or a second example might be on day 34, the Guiding thought says, “This is its true nature, thus it is my true nature.” You may then recall the 9^th day’s Guiding Thought that says, “I am Love. I am Kindness” and link that in your mind to your true nature. You need not think too hard about this, or try to make it happen. These Guiding Thoughts are designed to build on each other, to carry over into each other, and to interlace, building your awareness and understanding slowly as you repeat the practice.  Let this process happen naturally and organically.

This is it. Now is the time. Strengthen your commitment. Bring your intention to the front of your thoughts. For these moments, dedicate yourself completely to being willing. Total success is not the point, for your barriers are not all down and you still have limitations. Choose only to be willing to surpass any current blocks, any part of you that stands in your way. Then feel the current of your commitment and intention to live your purpose carry you forward.

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There is a Perfect Spiritual Idea of Perfect Fulfillment. My Inner Divine Presence Knows every form, experience, situation, event, circumstance, condition, relationship, and sequence that fulfills my desires. When I am diligent about maintaining my focus of desire on the loving benefit and fulfillment of all sentient beings, Divine Substance–which is the source of Spiritual Idea’s manifestation–flows through me and externalizes in my experience. Divine Presence appears as the perfect fulfillment of every single form, experience, situation, event, circumstance, condition, relationship, and sequence I could possibly desire.

I went through the words meticulously today, pausing with each word, each phrase, really feeling them…asking my Self, “What does this mean?” “How does this fit?” I allowed the words to sink in; I visualized what the qualities of a perfect spiritual idea might be, what the qualities of perfect fulfillment might be (Peace…Harmony…Love…). What does it feel like for Inner Divine Mind to Know? What does Divine Substance feel like flowing through me, as me? What does it mean for Divine Substance to externalize?

It was here I found a bump. I felt the quality of my thoughts shift—they became more intellectual, more cerebral, more questioning not just wonder and curiosity. What does it mean to have Divine Substance externalize? How does that happen? What does that look like? How do I know when Divine Substance shows up in my life? Trying to figure it all out hinders the flow.

I reminded myself “how it happens” is none of my concern. My concern is to focus on the loving benefit and fulfillment of all beings. So I shifted away from these questions about how and what it means and turned my attention to loving benefit. How does it feel to be a vehicle for the loving benefit of all sentient beings? I saw crickets and grasshoppers benefiting. I reached my attention to include all earth and non-earth entities. All is ALL…All is not just some, not a segment, not just these people or those people. What does it feel like…in this moment…that this thought, intention, desire, motivation, or action is for the benefit of all? That is the point. That is the focus. Everything, at all times, that comes through me benefits all.  I may be speaking only to you just now, but these words, this interaction is for the benefit of all. That is my purpose.

Overall, I feel so much more confident in my path, so much more clear in my purpose; I am focused, productive, and everything seems to be well-oiled.

The world awaits His expression!  He is here to align with his purpose, participate with life, and share his Self. With each moment he spends cultivating his Own Loving Presence to be attuned with Inner Divine Mind’s expression, the more he encounters the Perfect Spiritual Idea in his life activities. He chooses to be aware.  He chooses to understand. He chooses to Know. He chooses Life!

I started thinking, “Are we there yet…?” 30 days, with 10 more to go; this is feeling like a LONG drawn-out process. I am wondering who (in their right mind) does this?! 40 days of consciousness journey, what am I doing? I thought about slacking; I thought about reading the Guiding Thought quickly, just running through it to get through it, doing what I said I would do, but doing it minimally…

These thoughts came and went. Then I became aware of them.

In response to that, I thought, “YOU do this.” It was almost accusatory, reproachful, as though I could not believe that I was considering slacking. “You DO this” I thought again more persistently to myself. “You are relying on you. You must give all.”

So I pushed and I dug and I focused. I felt my mind shift—not a lot, but enough. I felt myself go deeper, feeling what’s real, feeling the point where I know I’ve pushed past something that was a limitation, nudging my consciousness into more, and out of lazy-indifferent-stuck-comfort.

Sometimes I am able to push hard, go really deep, and challenge my consciousness to move further and further into the infinite well of being. Sometimes I am, but not today. Today was a small step, a tiny step. Nonetheless, it was expansive. I did not stay within my own limits, I did not constrict. Even the smallest of movements forward are still movements forward.

I could have taken the easy road, which was really a tread mill taking me nowhere, or I could have relaxed and allowed my lazy-mind to convince me that less is more. Instead, just the smallest bit of effort—of remembering I want to transform, of remembering I want to live my purpose, of remembering I am happy when I am expanding—took me over the hump.

And it made a difference. I can feel it.

She is. She is Love. She is kindness. She is filled-full. She has all she seeks, for all she seeks is within her. Now she can be who she knows she is. She shares her Self with all and holds nothing back; she gives All Love. The Fullness of her Self returns to her as every form, person, situation, circumstance, and event that renews her fullness. She need not worry or think about what may be…her Self Knows and orders her life for perfect fulfillment. All she need do is remember her Self…and smile, and breathe, and live.

Today I started by imagining acquaintances and colleagues as the subject of the Guiding Thought in order to expand how I approach it. It was hard. For the people I chose, the collage in my mind, there was a voice in my head that insisted, “They don’t care! They don’t care about being fulfilled, or being kind, or loving for that matter. They have lots of nice things, and want nice things, and don’t even begin to care about being aware of the type of fulfillment I am talking about.”

I know the purpose of choosing “unlikely” people is purposeful for a couple of reasons:

a) It expands my conception of who those “likely” people may be.

b) It helps me to uncover/discover some of my own biases and barriers.

It was difficult but I did it! And I accomplished both (a) and (b) through the six people I chose, but it was a struggle to “see” them caring at all.

Two thoughts arose out of this: 1) I reminded myself of the truth that everyone, regardless of my own bias wants to be deeply fulfilled in Love, Peace, Harmony, and Freedom. If I am to help people “get at” their inner fulfillment, I must be open to “giving All Love” and breaking down my own biases. 2) I had to pause and ask myself, “Am I wholly willing to accept and to live my highest purpose?” If I am “seeing” resistance in others, there may be some resistance within myself. So, I took a moment to commit, dedicate, confirm, invite, and welcome (again) my purpose.

From this point of my re-dedication, I became the subject of the next repetition of the Guiding Thought. With the strength of my re-affirmation, I was able to see myself giving All Love as light-streamers extending from my energy field.

I was reminded of John Randolph Price’s description of one of his visualizations: “I saw the visible supply returning to me in waves…and I watched it coming from all around the world, closer and closer until, in my imagination, I felt the waves engulf me and almost take my breath away.”* I realized that in most of my visualizations, I don’t ever “see” the supply returning to me. So in this visualization, I saw the love-as-light, as traffic, on a two-way street (yes, really…a little mundane, I know, but it worked). All of the cars-as-love-as-light were going out from me, and returning back to me as everything that I want/need to fulfill my purpose.

As I was solidly feeling this, my visualization concluded with two friends (much more aligned with their purpose than the colleagues from the beginning) who joined me in the radiating/receiving.

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*Price, John Randolph. The Abundance Book. Quartus Books, Boerne TX. 1987. P. 49 http://www.hayhouse.com/details.php?id=2348

Today he erases all he thinks he knows of his Inner Divine Mind. He is changing. He is changed. All is new. With a blank slate of pure luminescence, he waits, simply feeling his inner glow.

Transformation!

He wants this! He invites this! He welcomes this!

He allows himself to change, to become more attuned to his Self, more aligned with his Self, and more congruent with his Highest Purpose. As he waits and watches his Highest Purpose appears as his activities, as people, and circumstances. He breathes, he smiles, and he lives.

I did the statement three times, with a different visual for each time.

In the first, I was an ethereal observer of the “he” in the thought. He was sitting on a high hill, in a meditation pose. I was floating above him speaking with a wise being about him. When I came to the sentence in the thought that says “he waits, simply feeling his inner glow”, I paused and watched him. I felt the calm peace of his waiting and the vibrancy of his inner glow. I could feel his inner and outer awareness—of the breeze gently blowing his hair, of the rocks on which he sat pressing into his flesh and muscle, of his passing-noticing of these things without dwelling on them, moving with the movement of his mind. I felt his awareness of the inner glow and feeling of wanting to remain in that glow, but knowing that there would be a time for getting up and performing life’s activities, and being aware of him letting those thoughts pass too.

The second repetition, I did much the same as the first, with a different person as the “he”. It was (as it often is) interesting to me that the feeling of my mind touching this person was different from the first person. People always “feel” different. There is, I think, an element of imagination, or creative thinking, or visualizing that I control or “insert” into the thought, the meditation, the mind-extension, but it also seems there is an element of really touching the essence or energy of another person. It’s palpable, tangible, but it’s not at all physical.

The third repetition of this one was like having hundreds of still-shots of all sorts of people flipping through my mind as the “he”. They were all “him”. Every second, there were 4-5 different people “sitting” in front of me, each one participating as I spoke the thought out loud, to the world about  “him”.

Of herself she is nothing, yet in union with Inner Divine Mind, through her Own Loving Presence, she is everything and has everything. As she infuses her consciousness with Knowledge of her Inner Divine Mind, her activity expresses this Union and she experiences life. She breathes in this life. She smiles with Joy and Gratitude, and she affirms:  “I LIVE.”

The life that she breathes in is the life that is the union of her and Inner Divine Mind.

Yet, the union of “her” and Divine Mind is really Divine Mind expressing through her, as her. There. Is. Only. Divine Mind. Ever.

The life we share with Divine Mind is not “shared” at all, but the only Life there is. It is the same Life experienced and expressed as each of us, within each of us.

Joy and gratitude for Life! No wonder I smile!

Today he relaxes with confidence in the activity of his Inner Divine Mind. He allows it to express its true nature of all-sufficiency and all-supply in his life and affairs. Today, his only responsibility is to protect his Own Loving Presence from thoughts that block its flow. If he feels uncertain, he remembers his Source; if he feels weak, he remembers his Inner Flow; if he feels doubt, he assures himself of his Inner Knowing and is free.

I had several different visualizations today involving “him”.

First, I chose men I know, but men, I think, who are not much drawn to the spiritual ways, and thought of them as I repeated the Guiding Thought.

Then an ancient sage and I met in a field and he repeated the Guiding thought to me as images of the world’s political leaders passed in front of us.

Finally, the same ancient sage and a friend were standing on a small stage/platform in front of a small audience—maybe 20 people—like at a small meeting-house, or in a large living room. The audience was seated on folding wooden chairs with red velvet cushions and the ancient sage was saying the Guiding Thought to the audience about my friend.  While he was speaking, my friend seemed very passive. I was in the audience watching. My expression and excitement level were that of as watching something fascinating. I sat wide-eyed and excited. I reacted as though watching the most mesmerizing magic show I had ever seen. I then noticed my friend’s energy field had become effervescent, like he was carbonated. All these little bubbles were rising up within him, bubbling out of his head and “popping” as they rose. They began rising from his head/neck, then from his upper spine, and finally, slowly from lower down his spine; the bubbles began to rise up.

After all this, my thoughts made a tangent and I felt a life-long recurring theme/feeling of wanting to help people, wanting to help people heal, wanting to show people there is a different way, a way out of pain and suffering.