Ripped Open– Worth (1.3.10)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

If I am to be my Self in the world, I must be for others as well as myself. There is no other.

I am willing to be receptive to the Infinite Love of All. I am willing to understand how I must rise above the struggles and pains of the world. I am willing to rise again and again with each call for help, each outstretched hand. I am willing to be the one to choose to change. I offer my pain, suffering, guilt and blame up for transformation, into the light of Love that I may see and give only the light of Love always.

Reflection

Mother, this is our only prayer: May no one in all the worlds experience pain or sorrow. Save us from out (inner) enemies. Om Tat Sat. (Sapta Sloki Durga)

Compassion is the understanding of suffering. There is no peace, joy, or hope until those who suffer are understood. Compassion is the soul of these words; without it, they are empty. Compassion fills them with truth, honor, and purpose. (From Medical Medium by Anthony William)

There is so much here today.

  • Being willing to see others as yourself (walk in someone else’s shoes).
  • Being willing to feel pain and suffering–and walk through it.
  • Being willing to feel the pain and suffering of someone else, and respond to it with compassion.
  • To release pain and suffering “up for transformation”.

As I’ve mentioned several times now, I have been working more with the Holy Spirit, and the Divine Mother/Femine energy. I’ve been praying, chanting, and doing other devotions specifically to connect with this “Shakti” energy.

When I wrote this Guiding Thought a couple of years ago, it meant something different to me than it does today. Then, I thought it meant that I’m supposed to “be the strong one”, or “help people through something”, or “take on the pain and suffering so others don’t need to”.

Not today.

You see, I’ve been digging deeply into my own pain and suffering (which has come out at odd times, mostly in the middle of the night as anxiety and panic, with tears, many tears). I feel frozen, I feel defeated. I feel hopeless. Sometimes I feel like I am going to die.

And there is nothing can do. The feeling is, “I’ve tried everything. I’m at a loss. I don’t know what to do, or where to turn”. There are prayers written for this feeling.

From the Orthodox tradition:

  • Suddenly the Judge shall come, and the deeds of each shall be laid bare; but with fear do we cry at midnight: Holy, Holy, Holy art Thou, O God; through the Theotokos, have mercy on us.
  • Grant me not to fall asleep in the death of sin, but have compassion on me, O Thou Who wast voluntarily crucified, and hasten to raise me who am reclining in idleness, and save me in prayer and intercession
  • It has been a lesson in asking for Divine intervention, Divine help, and giving up…really giving up. When the feeling is deeply that “there is nothing I can do to help myself”, there is comfort in turning to the Divine Mother/Holy Spirit.
  • heal the perennial passions of my soul. Guide me to the path of repentance, for I am tossed in the storm of life. Deliver me from eternal fire, and from evil worms, and from Tartarus. Let me not be exposed to the rejoicing of demons, guilty as I am of many sins. Renew me, grown old from senseless sins, O most immaculate one. Present me untouched by all torments, and pray for me to the Master of all.

From the Hindu tradition:

  • I have fallen in the ocean of birth and death, and I fear their sorrows. I am trapped by my ego, with its countless desires, greed, pride and lust.
  • I do not know how to be righteous or find your abode. I do not know how to achieve freedom by dissolving my ego. I am devoid of the will to fight; I surrender. I am not strong enough to make any vow.
  • My mind is always engaged in worthless thoughts and actions. My intellect has become dull, enslaved by old habits. I am unable to behave honourably and my intentions are self-serving. My speech is harsh and hurtful.

I have asked for this; I have asked for transformation. I have asked to be cleansed and purified, so that I may be a pure vehicle for the Holy Spirit. Ask and ye shall receive. But be prepared–it ain’t all smiles and roses.

My current experience is that when I allow myself to really feel these things, it is like I am just ripped open and stuff I didn’t even know was there (and that I don’t know what it is, necessarily) pours out, and keeps pouring out. This is when it’s not all happy and pleasant.

The good news is that this is the death of the ego, and there is Divine aid. Jesus is there to help. The Divine Mother is there to help, along with the Holy Spirit, and any/every other Divine being who you call to.

They are the embodiment of today’s Guiding Thought. They are fully for others, and they know there is no other. They are the embodiment of Infinite Love of All. They have already risen above the struggles and pains of the world, and they are here to help us do the same. They accept our pain, suffering, guilt and blame and transform it, into the light of Love that we may see and give only the light of Love always.

 

The Middle Prayer: Journey of Peace 2017– Day 39

Copyright Tam Black 2017
for susanwithpearls

Guiding Thought

The purpose of Life for all beings is to experience happiness, peace, contentment, and safety, Knowing the Oneness and Immortality of the Divine Self. Such Knowledge is beyond speech, beyond thought; it is found in the depths of the heart where communion (co-union) with All is reality. I bring the unifying force within my heart to all people and experiences and thus Know myself as the happiness, peace, contentment, and safety I Am.

Reflection

More and more I’ve been pausing throughout my day to “bring the unifying force within my heart to all people and experiences”. I haven’t even been thinking about the Journey. I just want to do it. (you can see a couple of my recent prayers here and here.)

“Anytime, anywhere” is what I thought about this today. There is no place inappropriate to ask the Divine into the heart. There is no time that is inappropriate (At first I had to get over myself on this particular issue. The first time I was on the toilet and the prayer came up into my mind, I thought… “I can’t do this here“. But I got over it. There is no place God isn’t. Even the toilet. So if you can bring yourself to say a prayer while in the bathroom…you have an understanding beyond “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” about a relationship with God, congratulations!).

Wanting to pray throughout the day is quite new for me. I have done formal (Russian Orthodox) morning and evening prayers. I do mantra. I say the Our Father and the Hail Mary. I used to “just talk” to God as prayer. I lost that when I was still young, maybe around age 16. Formal prayers became the substitute.

I love formal prayers. I love the assurance of knowing that these prayers have been used for millenia by lots of people who want to communicate with God. It’s as though someone else has figured something out, and all I have to do is say the words to reap the benefits. I can relax; I don’t have to think about (as, of course, I would) if I am “doing it right”. Formal prayers have already been tested and approved.

“Just talking” to God is murkier for me. I want to communicate clearly–all the time, but especially when I am talking to God. When I “just talk” I seem to get lost in my thoughts and the talk turns to distracted musing, wondering, or worry.

The prayers that I now do are kind of an in-between. I use a semi-formal structure (see the links above), then through that structure I invoke and/or ask for Light, Love, Healing, Peace, etc., using my own words, whatever comes to mind, whatever the situation happens to be.

The bridge that helped me find this in between spot–not formal prayer, yet not distracted musing–was the idea that before every prayer, I simply invoke my Christ Presence, the Holy Spirit, my I Am Presence, my Divine Self–whatever you choose to call It, It is that Presence that mediates between your personality and the Divine. With this invocation, every word of the prayer becomes filtered through this Presence, so I can’t “do it wrong” and every word is purified before it reaches God’s ear, so God understands what I mean, even if it’s not what I am saying or if it’s gibberish.

The Holy Spirit/I Am Presence listens to my heart, to my deepest self, and offers that to God on my behalf. Can you see now why I “just want” to pray throughout the day?