Allowing vs. Making -Healing (1.4.38)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for
Guiding Thought

Today I decide to be aware of my Whole and Holy Self working within me, expressing through me. As I move through the affairs of my life, with an open mind and empty hands, I look first to my Whole and Holy Self for guidance. My only decision today is to be aware of my Whole and Holy Self—all other decisions arise out of this, in conjunction with my Self.


Always remember that nature refuses to be rushed. She can only be made to evolve and that takes time. Take heart! -Dharma Mittra

I have so far to go. There are so many people in the world doing such great work, advancing themselves, teaching, being loving and compassionate, sharing it, bringing all that into the world. Wow. Om Namo Namah. I bow to you. Thank you for your contribution.

This is why I needed to add the quote at the top. It’s a reminder to myself that evolution takes time; I may not be as far along the path as I think I should be, or comparatively as far as some people, but I must remind myself: this is my path, no one else’s. I have to walk it as only I can. and, as I say, “every drop counts, every step matters”–each day, every little thing that I do to contribute to my growth and evolution, to becoming the person I know I am, matters.

And, honestly? I love my path. I love what I do and who I am…but I also get frustrated and impatient with myself because think I “should be” doing more. This Journey is really helping me with this. I am allowing myself to evolve (heal), rather than trying to make myself evolve.

Can you feel that difference? Allowing vs. making? One is an easy opening, the other is a forcing, prying. What happens when something is allowed? It happens gently, naturally. What happens when something is forced? There is resistance, pushing back.

It’s the same feeling when I decide to be aware of my Whole and Holy Self working within me.

How do I make my decision to be aware of my Whole and Holy Self? Do I do it with an attitude of allowing or making? Do I open myself joyfully to my Whole and Holy Self, or do I feel like I have to really work at making myself decide to be aware of my Self’s inner activity?

When I am “too hard” on myself, when I think I am not going far enough, fast enough, I try to make myself go further, faster.

There is a certain amount of “pushing” myself that is positive/healthy: that is a pushing through the ego, not pushing against the process or the Inner Self.

So there is a level of awareness that I must bring to pushing myself, to make sure I do not overstep pushing through the ego into pushing through the process. The first subdues the ego, the second sabotages the process, through creating unwanted resistance.

I am often very hard on myself. That is one of the reasons that the goals for this Journey were simply to be kind to myself. I need to learn to be more gentle, loving, and patient with myself.

Although I am often hard on myself, I rarely overstep, and most often, I am pushing through a block or an ego-construction. But, when I do overstep and sabotage my process by being too hard on myself, I must step way back to recover.

It’s possible that I have been in a position for much of this Journey of stepping back, learning to allow, which has not been a “normal” thing for me. Perhaps one of the things I have been accomplishing, not even realizing it, is creating a new pattern, new neurological pathways for allowing. This would include being patient with myself, being gentle with myself, being accepting of myself.

…Which would be good, because I have a long way to go!


“Learning to Live with Perfection”: Journey of Purpose 2.0 – Day 17

Copyright Tam Black 2016 Designed for
Copyright Tam Black 2016
Designed for

Guiding Thought

Of yourself you are nothing, yet in union with Your Inner Divine Mind, through Your Own Loving Presence, you are everything and have everything. As you infuse your consciousness with Knowledge of your Inner Divine Mind, your activity expresses this Union and you experience life. Breathe in this life. Smile with Joy and Gratitude, and affirm: “I LIVE.”



Life is so amazing. I haven’t been on a “life is amazing” kick for a while. But really, think about it. LIFE IS AMAZING. Here we are. Living. Breathing. Playing. Working. Feeling. Being. Amazing!

I was thinking about what I wrote yesterday about learning and hard work, and today fits right into this: One of the things about this learning is that it is abstract. Divine Mind is abstract. Loving Presence is abstract. Even consciousness is abstract. Abstractions are really difficult to pinpoint, to say, “this is it” (thus–abstract!); it’s not like a jump shot, a kick, a run-pattern/catch, that we can practice and see tangible results or improvements.

We don’t have a coach telling us, “You used too much wrist and not enough arm”, “Follow-through”, or “Your timing was just half a second off”. No. We do not see immediately so we can’t do an assessment/critique of our learning in the moment.

Or…maybe we do get immediate feedback, we just don’t notice it. Maybe living is the immediate feedback and if we paid attention to our own inner coach (intuition?), we would be able to make little adjustments, and do it better…do life better.

Do we need to do life better? Aren’t we perfect as we are? Yes. Yes! We are! And all you have to do is accept that and believe it and live it: YOU ARE PERFECT right now.

The thing is…I apparently don’t yet believe it. Because I still think I can do it better. Until I wake up one morning, resting peacefully, in the full and complete knowledge of my own perfection… I’m going to keep learning about my own perfection, keep learning to love myself more, keep learning to do life better.

And I’m ok with that, with myself for it. I love life, and love it as a process.

Journey of the Heart – Day 38

We are on round 4! These last ten days, the Guiding Thoughts return to using me and I for the pronouns. See how your perspective of your self has changed through using you or we the past twenty days. See if your sense of self is bigger; if you can include a broader vision of “you”.

You may also choose to continue to take a moment before the Journey to listen to this quickly—it is a thought for others, so that the effects of this Journey ripple out!


Spend about 15-20 minutes with the guiding thought, and then let your heart speak through words, pictures, colors, shapes, whatever feels right. I’ve supplied a link below to an audio of me doing the guiding thought–use it if you like to create, while listening to it play on a loop (that’s what I do). Scroll to the bottom for my sharing…

Day 38 Guiding Thought

Love-as-light streams from my heart to your heart!

We are connected by Love; we are One in Love.

I imagine this stream of love-as-light connecting with everyone in time and space.

I imagine receiving this stream of love-as-light as it returns to me from everyone in time and space.

This is enough. We are One.

Click here to access the audio file.

You can download this and play it in a loop while you allow your heart to speak to you :).   I suggest Windows Media Player (I have not tested other players).

Journey of the Heart - Day 38 Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls
Journey of the Heart – Day 38
Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls


It seems that lately, the pictures have very little to do with the words of the Guiding Thought. I knew that as I was drawing this, but I kept coming back to the words, “this is enough”—and I knew that it applied to the moment of the drawing, as well as any further implications.

This is something I have had to remind myself over and over on this Journey: the drawing is not just about drawing; it’s about spending time being tuned in with my heart, my creativity, my imagination. In this sense, none of the drawings matter. The drawings only truly represent the time that I have spent with my inner self. If the drawings communicate something, if I see something new because of the drawings, if something becomes more clear to me as a result of the drawing…which are great by-products…but it’s those other “things” that are the essential thing. The thing is…opening to my heart, being with my heart, making time and space for my heart. Yes!

It just so happens, this picture is about opening, like a flower. This geometric, somewhat off-kilter flower speaks to me of unfolding and expansion. When I enfold my heart (within), I unfold and expand (without). When I accept myself, (“this is enough”) everything becomes acceptable. This is the foundation of easily and naturally connecting with others through light and love, being One in Love.

No love is possible without first Self-Love.