Feelin’ It (Heart- 1.1.9)

Journey of the Heart – Day 09
©Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls

Guiding Thought

Gratitude strikes my heart like a bell, resounding love through my being. Gratitude opens my heart to Love’s purity, my very own essence! I experience such deep gratitude for my heart, my essence, my ALL of Life!

Play the Guiding Thought here (loops automatically). Journey of the Heart audio created by Brad Vanlandingham for Susanwithpearls:

Sharing

There was something rhythmic and steady about drawing repetitive lines while listening to the Guiding Thought. I felt my mind let go so that the words were able to quite literally resound through my body, carrying with them the feeling behind the words. By the time I was finishing the picture, I felt gratitude that was in my body, visceral and organic. I’ve never experienced that before.

Cool.

Thank YOU– Journey of Gratitude 2017, day 09

It’s sometimes hard to explain, when I feel the words of the Guiding Thought flowing through me, giving me a sensory experience of their meaning. I hope, perhaps, today, you will feel it with me.

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Copyright Tam Black 2015 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2015
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

Gratitude makes all things new! When I am aware of my Source in Love, I see its activity everywhere. It is the Substance of Life itself! I am in the flow and create and expand with Love, in Life!

Reflection

There are so many people doing enlightening (in-light-ening) work. There are so many people learning to do the work of healing, forgiveness, caring, compassion, loving, reconciling. People are waking up; Love is bustin’ out all over! Thank YOU for your contribution.

Whatever brought you here, whatever your self-perception is, YOU are one of these people. You are waking up; you are enlightening yourself and others; you are a necessary and important part of everything that is happening in this world; your light contributes to everyone’s light, to my light. We bless each other. We support each other. We encourage each other…even if we don’t know each other, ever meet, ever talk, or ever interact at all.

I see its activity everywhere. 

Even when there is nothing obvious, like when I can see (or understand, or feel) how we enrich each other, without knowing each other, I can see its activity everywhere. This is a hint of the seeing that I have been writing about.

I feel SO thankful for you, for us, for our being here, now. I feel such Love for you, for us, for our being here. Does it matter, “which comes first”, the love or the gratitude? Do I tap into the love, because I feel such gratitude, or do I feel such gratitude because love fills me?

I feel so excited about the work we are doing. I feel optimistic. There are SO many amazing people doing the work, doing their work, shining their light. What’s not to be excited about? (I guess to answer that, all you have to do is tune in to the political conversations, but…even despite those conversations…I am excited!)

Speaking of the political climate, I should say: Now is a time for us to continue with full dedication and commitment to our Purpose, to being the Love we are, to bringing in the Light. We need each other. The world needs us. Dig deeper. Be more focused. Commit more time. Stand up. Do the work. Shine your light. Be the Love you are.

Thank you, for being.

Highest Vision for the World (what’s yours? Tweet it! #pearlsofvision)

Hands reaching out to help. Everyone helps everyone, or anyone. No divides, no divisions. Just willingness to be there for another human being.

“Heroes Is as Heroes Does”: Journey of Fulfillment 2.0 – Day 39

Copyright Tam Black 2014 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2014
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

 

Guiding Thought

May those who seek help others find;

May those who sorrow be compassionate;

May those who are lost, light a path for another;

May those who question or doubt give guidance;

May those who worry lift the burden of another;

May those who hide see their own light in the eyes of a stranger;

May we all give peace, no matter what.

 

Sharing

I made it home from work last night, no problem, like any other day—well, ok, there was more traffic than usual, it took me 90 minutes for a drive that usually only takes 50 minutes, and it was rainy—but other than that, no problem, like any other day. Realizing there was nothing for dinner, I had to run to the store—again, not so unusual, although not all that frequent.  About a mile away, the store normally takes about 20 minutes to get to and come home.

Not this time.

I make the turn to the store and accelerate to get up the incline…my car barely moves, and my engine revs. Come on, come on…what the hell… come on come on, make it up there. I barely make it to the parking lot. When I get there, I do some tests: car in Drive, press accelerator…NO GO. Car in Drive 2, press the accelerator…NO GO. Car in Drive 3, press the accelerator…NO GO. SHIT.  Car in reverse. GO! Ok. Back into a parking spot.  Turn engine off. Turn engine on. Car in drive.  GO! SLOWLY. BARELY. OK. Maybe I’ll be able to make it home. Turn car off, go in, get dinner, head home with a bit of trepidation. The drive home took 5 times as long as usual, going about 5 miles an hour with flashers on. At one point it stopped completely and I thought I would be walking the rest of the way home, but by some miracle, it went again, after I turned the car off and back on.

My mood bordered on cranky and annoyed…but I was doing my best to stay positive.

Then, I remembered. I talk sometimes about forgetting, and how I should know better, and why do I forget when I really know better… this time, thank my lucky stars and the god of All that is Good, I remembered: I said to myself, “This is all perfect. Everything is going exactly as it needs to go to put everything in place for exactly what needs to be right and perfect.” Which is good, because the next day (today) was a big day already.

The transmission going out threw me into a completely different mode of expectation. That is to say, the way I thought today was going to go, what I had planned, what I expected, was thrown completely OFF.  (and I have to say: I had some very important plans today).

In addition to getting done all that I had planned, I had to figure out how to get my car towed, get the rental car, find a transmission place that works with my warranty, and still get everything else done.

And everything turned out perfectly. Several scenarios that would never otherwise have happened, happened; I met new people who I never would have otherwise met, and engaged in conversations that would never have taken place—which unexpectedly prepared me for one of the very important points of my day. All the while, I maintained my thought from last night, “everything is perfect”.  Indeed, I recalled a dream that I had about 10 months ago, in which, in the midst of a flood I literally held onto a buoy, and floated heedlessly along, while lots of other stuff was swept away all around me.

I completely let go of how I thought I was going to approach today. Instead, I decided to “go with it”, and float as though atop a buoy in a flood.

It was amazing. Everything worked out synchronously, in a very unexpected but interconnected way—in a way that I could not have planned, in a way that I could not have orchestrated. And I realized…THIS is what Dirk Gently is talking about. He really is my hero.

“Closer I am”: Journey of Fulfillment 2.0 – Day 37

Copyright Tam Black 2014 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2014
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

My joy unifies! Accepting my own joy—acknowledging it, sharing it, and expressing it—heals myself and others. To be wholly joyful means to be wholly love…means to be wholly my Self.

Sharing

What do you love? What brings you joy? What is it that you need to accept within yourself that will allow you to express that quality/characteristic that brings you joy? Or are you doing it already? What is unique and original within you? What do you do with that?  Who are you?

In a way, today’s Guiding Thought is really about honesty. It’s about being deeply, truly, honestly your Self. It’s about releasing anything that prevents you from expressing your Self. It’s about the simple pleasure of knowing who you are (acknowledging), and sharing that part of you that only you contribute to the whole.

How close are you? How close are you to your Self? How much Truth do you tell yourself? How much Truth do you live?

For me, it feels like I have spent a lifetime uncovering, discovering, and striving to live as my real Self (that’s probably because I have…).   It started when I was around 9, with Plato’s quote of the Oracle at Delphi, “Know Thyself”. It progressed to Shakespeare’ s “This above all, to thine own self be true, and it must follow as the night the day, thou canst then not be false to any man.” One of my favorite books as a pre-teen was The Real Me by Betty Miles; in college I studied identity politics, authenticity, and alienation (among other things); after college I (basically, for all intents and purposes) “dropped out” of society to “find myself” (I know, it’s cliché, but that’s what I did—it worked!).

And here I am, doing Journeys, which I LOVE, which are unique to me, which I share, which bring me great joy.

And still I feel like I have so far to go, so much to learn about myself, so much to discover, so much to share.

The bucket is never full. Every drop matters, but the bucket is never full. There is always more to do! More to learn! More to share! Despite how far I go, how far I feel I have come, I look ahead and see how far I have yet to go.

Even though this might sound a bit defeatist, it’s not! It’s inspiring! It’s motivating!

To experience your Self as infinite, take an inner- step in every direction! How long will that take? FOREVER. Is it worth it? Absolutely.

“Pea-Shooter v. Iceberg”: Journey of Fulfillment 2.0 – Day 34

Copyright Tam Black 2014 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2014
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

My Self wills only to extend itself. Extending, sharing, and creating as Divine Love, through Divine Mind, is my sole (soul) purpose. My Self knows its fullness in Divine Love and wills only to liberate me to fulfill my purpose and my joy.

Sharing

I think one reason that I am able to do “this work” and be honest about my doubts, skepticism, “negative” experiences, or struggles, is because at a deeper (much deeper) level, I feel assured that those doubtful, skeptical, “negative”  thoughts or struggles have absolutely no “real” basis. In other words, at that very deep level, I trust the Truth of Love, which cannot be diminished in any way, especially by my small doubts, etc.

For example, when I read the Guiding Thought, some part of my always knows that it gets at a Truth stronger than anything I can overcome or vanquish. My doubts, my insecurities, my small thoughts about me in my little life are like trying to chip away at an iceberg with a pea-shooter. It just won’t happen.

I’m safe. I can’t assail the Truth. There is nothing that I can do to the Truth which will overcome the Truth.

Since I am safe, I might as well just be honest. I might as well take hard looks. I might as well ask questions. I might as well throw every doubt, negative thought, worry, anxiety at the iceberg of Truth. Truth is not going to go anywhere. It’s not going to be impacted by my mushy pellets.

The only thing that will happen is that I will open myself to the Truth to teach me of itself.

Why is that? In using my pellet gun against the iceberg, I willingly expose what is going on within myself.

Or, to switch metaphors: I willingly open my hidden-places to transformation. I shine the flashlight in my own darkness.

You see, Knowing the Truth is as simple as allowing Truth’s light to shine within you. When you keep things hidden, you keep out the light. The hidden becomes less scary to face, when there is assurance that Divine Love is always with you. Divine Love always cares. Divine Love loves you always. Confident in this, I can willingly, at my own pace, in my own time, with my own intensity, shine the light, learn the Truth, reveal the Truth within me. Better that I do it willingly, of my own accord, because Divine Love will bring me to the Light. Better I use my choice, my free will to begin to approach Divine Love within me, to begin to allow Divine Love to be the Truth within me.  Better that I use my free will to go willingly; I can’t change the course of an iceberg, might as well join it or it will pull me in and carry me with it whether I like it or not.

“Getting There: Fulfilled and Free”: Journey of Fulfillment 2.0 – Day 04

Copyright Tam Black 2014 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2014
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

 My Self wills only to extend itself. Extending, sharing, and creating as Divine Love, through Divine Mind, is my sole purpose. My Self knows its fullness in Divine Love and wills only to liberate me to fulfill my purpose and my joy.

 

Sharing

If you remember from Journey of Abundance, I was working with the thoughts

ALL in All

All is Love

ALL in All is Love is ALL in All.

Another way to think about this is simply, “God is All; God is Love”. Sometimes it’s easier (more accessible), for me to think of “God”, sometimes I am more comfortable with “All”. Recently, I’ve learned a new, deeper meaning of another option, the word “Ishwara”, which I may also use: “In the Yoga Sutras, the word for God is Ishwara: the Lord, Ruler, Master, or Controller, possessing the powers of omnipotence, omnipresence, and omniscience.” (Om Yoga Meditation, Its Theory and Practice, Abbott George Burke, location 93, Kindle edition).

This concept (God-ALL-Love), however you want to formulate it for yourself, has become somewhat of a foundation, for me on this Journey.

If God is ALL, then I am part of God. If God is ALL, then my Self is a Self of God. Everything I do is God; everything I think is God; every interaction is God…Everything is God.

>>brief aside< You know by now that I’ve been working on surrender/trust/letting go/living God’s Will. There is a phrase from A Course in Miracles that I have used in this regard, “I need do nothing”, which has helped me to relax into allowing the activity of God.  In today’s context, I have changed this thought to “God does everything”. This removes the emphasis on “I” and places it on God. If God is ALL, then God does do everything. It’s become another way for me to release, let go, surrender my mind to the activity of God. <

Everything is God. Now, look again at the Guiding Thought with this in mind:

My Self which is One with God

 wills only to extend itself . God wills to extend; God is extending through me!

 Extending, sharing, and creating as Divine Love, because God is within me, this is the activity of God, through me….

through Divine Mind, which is already God’s mind, within me….

is my sole purpose. Because this is the ONLY purpose God has, which is also my purpose, because of my Oneness with God.

My Self knows its fullness in Divine Love of course it does! My Self Knows itself as God, and God’s Divine Love.

and wills only to liberate me …this is all God Wants for all of us, to Know our Selves as Divine Expression, in which we are One with God,  fulfilled and free.

to fulfill my purpose and my joy. Because the purpose of Life is to remember our Life in God, which is the only life of Joy.

Do you see how, when you begin to think of God as or in everything, the perspective shifts just that little bit, to actually see the activity of God in All, including within yourself?

“Are we what we do, or are we what we think? ”: Journey of Abundance 2.0 – Day 37

Copyright Tam Black 2016 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2016
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

 

Guiding Thought

My consciousness is the gateway through which Divine Love flows, materializing my infinite Supply. I am now conscious of my own Inner Divine Presence—Infinite Love—expressing through me, providing me with the means to be aware, to understand, and to know It as my Self– more and more!

Sharing

It’s Sunday and I’ve been working hard today, and I started early. I hope you are enjoying a long weekend with good food and family/friends!  (and not working hard, like me!).

Are we what we do, or are we what we think?

In his book Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart: Thirty True Things You Need to Know Now, Gordon Livingston says these two things (at different points):

  • Nearly every human action is in some way an expression of how we think about ourselves.
  • We are what we do. We are not what we think, or what we say, or how we feel. We are what we do.

In other words…We are what we do, which is (nearly) a direct effect of how we think (about ourselves).

Isn’t that pretty close to saying “we are what we think”? What do you think about this?

One of the main points of doing these 40-day Consciousness Journeys is to raise the quality of my thoughts, so that I can have a better quality of life. In other words: to change my physical reality through having “better” thoughts. This would certainly correspond with thoughts affecting actions. The better I think about myself, the better my actions toward myself, the better I would treat myself, the better choices I would make, the more good I would allow into my life.

But does this make who I am? What defines “me”? Who is doing the defining? Do I define myself? Do my thoughts define me?

My consciousness is how I think about myself, myself in relation to others, even how I think about others in relation to me. My consciousness is the filter for the definitions for “who I am”.

But I was defined before “I” existed. All “I” can do is open my consciousness to the fullness of who I AM.

“Peace be with you”: Journey of Abundance 2.0 – Day 15

Copyright Tam Black 2016 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2016
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

 

Guiding Thought

Your Inner Divine Love Presence Knows what you need or desire before you do. It is constantly providing you with ideas, material goods, situations, and interactions to fulfill all your needs and desires. Relax! and allow the Presence Within to supply you with everything you need.

Sharing

Today was a day for relaxing! A day for trust! A day for feeling good! A day for joy and satisfaction and simply being. I hope you have had a peaceful, relaxing day full of that natural communication with Self/Spirit, which simply carries you buoyantly through your day, through your life.

As you know, there are ways to communicate with Self/Spirit that are not verbal or mental. I have been so relaxed and in the peace of the moment all day that I wanted to continue it through the doing of the Journey—contemplation (thinking) would have taken me out of the flow.

Since I have the option of communicating with Self/Spirit through my coloring, I chose that today.

In my picture, I am relaxed with all my needs fulfilled. I am in a beautiful place, surrounded by beauty, with the perfect head/back rest, showered with sunlight. I am so thankful for this. I feel so much gratitude for all my needs being met, for feeling so at peace, so comfortable, surrounded by beauty…all I can do is thank God, thank Spirit, thank Self/soul/the Divine/the ALL that IS that surrounds me and contributes to my being. The blue from my heart is this thankfulness. I can’t tell you how calm and peaceful and right it all feels.

I wish for you an amazing, peaceful, trusting, relaxing day. If you didn’t have one as I did today, I wish it for you right now, or tomorrow, or when it is right and perfect for you (every day!!). Peace be with you, now and always.

IMG_20160813_172740

Lost in Translation: Journey of Abundance 2.0 – Day 05

Copyright Tam Black 2016 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2016
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

My Inner Divine Love Presence Knows what I need or desire before I do. It is constantly providing me with ideas, material goods, situations, and interactions to fulfill all my needs and desires. I relax and allow the Presence Within to supply me with everything I need.

 

Sharing

So far in my coloring, squares have represented the “unknown” material goods, situations, and interactions that Divine Source sends my way. I wonder how that relates to my picture today? I did not make a conscious decision about what the squares represent today, as I have other days. I did not intend for them to represent material goods, situations, or interactions. In fact, if I was intending anything, it was that the squares represent what Divine Love Knows I need or desire.

Hmmmm. Maybe that does make sense symbolically. If squares in previous pictures have represented Divine “outcomes” in my life, then it makes sense that in Divine Mind, those outcomes could be represented in the same way. There a singular perfection for my life, for everything and anything material or physical. The squares today represent that singular pattern for perfection which Divine Mind holds just for me.

Journey of Abundance 2.0 - Day 05 Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls
Journey of Abundance 2.0 – Day 05
Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls

It flows to me, through me, and out into my life (the light blue “bar” represents the threshold of relaxing). The flow comes through me, as I relax, and then shows up as a celebration! That’s what the stars and bursts and streamers are…a celebration.

Because…(and this was big today)…because Divine Mind is constantly providing me with ideas, material goods, situations, and interactions to fulfill all my needs and desires.

The importance of this:

If Divine Mind is constantly providing me with ideas, material goods, situations, and interactions to fulfill all my needs and desires, then my needs and desires are constantly being met.

If my needs and desires are constantly being met, then every situation I encounter, every material thing I have or receive, every person, event, situation is something that fulfills a need or desire.

I am constantly fulfilled. Constantly, constantly, constantly. This is the activity of Divine Mind. This is the way of Divine Love Presence.

You mean the bubbles on my screensaver are fulfilling a need or desire? YES.

You mean rush hour traffic fulfills a need or desire? YES.

You mean these fluorescent lights fulfill a need or desire? YES.

Why don’t we recognize these things as fulfilling a need or desire? Why do we think they are contrary to our nature, to our desires? Because Divine Mind fulfills ALL our needs or desires—conscious, subconscious, known or unknown. It gives us what we ask for, so what do I ask for that a bubble screensaver, traffic, or lights is the answer? What am I seeking? For what am I asking, that these are the answer?

This is why it’s important to

  • Get clear
  • Surrender to Divine Will
  • Find and remove obstacles, illusions, obfuscations

When  we can align ourselves perfectly with the pattern of perfection Divine Mind holds just for us, we will recognize everything as a gift, everything as the perfect fulfillment in our lives.

“Mind Moving”: Journey of Healing 2.0 – Day 15

Copyright Tam Black 2016 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2016
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

Your own Loving Presence is your personal connection with Divine Mind. Attuned to your own Loving Presence, Know yourself as Whole and Holy. As you feel your Inner Unity, Know: this is all you want; you have found all you seek.

Sharing

I’ve been working with a big idea lately. The idea is that anything I want, or anything I want to feel or be, already exists. It is. Somewhere. Even if it’s not here, in my conscious awareness, it exists. All I have to do is move my mind to it. It is there, in Divine Mind.

This is a bit like a tool I have used called the Behavioral Barometer, by One Brain. On the barometer, there are words on one side of the paper that correspond to a feeling. I find the word that most closely describes what I am feeling, and I repeat a dozen or more times, out loud, “I feel >blank<”. Today the “right” word was unimportant

I feel unimportant. I feel unimportant. I feel unimportant. I feel unimportant. I feel unimportant. I feel unimportant. I feel unimportant. I feel unimportant. I feel unimportant. I feel unimportant. I feel unimportant. I feel unimportant.

Feelings flow through me. Feelings are not me, they are not who I am. I can feel without claiming the feeling as an identity, getting bogged down in it, or being overwhelmed by it. “To feel is to heal”, as the saying goes. Feelings need to be acknowledged. Feelings need to be expressed. Sometimes just saying the words is enough to release the feeling.

Once the feeling is released, there is a corresponding word on the other side of the barometer, to “fill in” the space (the neural connections), where that feeling just vacated. That word today was Unified. So I repeated, “I AM Unified”. This statement is used to claim the quality (Unified) as a State of Being: in other words, proclaiming, this is Who I Am.

I AM Unified. I AM Unified. I AM Unified. I AM Unified. I AM Unified. I AM Unified. I AM Unified. I AM Unified. I AM Unified. I AM Unified. I AM Unified. I AM Unified. I AM Unified. I AM Unified. I AM Unified. I AM Unified.

Being Unified, or being in the State of Being Unified, already exists in Divine Mind. Thus, thinking this thought I AM Unified confirms to my mind the Truth, unlike saying I feel unimportant, which is passing, and not something that even exists in Divine Mind.

When you tell yourself, tell your mind, the Truth, you move your mind that much closer to what already exists, to the Truth of You. This is becoming Being and Being becoming.

ANY time you feel weak, or unimportant, threatened or unacceptable, unloved or rejected, KNOW none of that is True. You are an amazing, loved, appreciated, invigorating, creative, caring, essential, protected, purposeful person.

Know that.

Acknowledge your feeling. Then move your mind to what already exists: the Truth of YOU. You are all you seek.

I love you for you, for the Truth of you, for all you are, all you are becoming, all you give, all you seek, all you do, all you strive for, all you love, all within you, just You.  Thank you for being.