Hold Fast– Worth (1.3.32)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

I love myself for the Truth within me. The Truth within me Knows me for who I am—Pure Love, Only Love, beyond all valuing of the world. In Love all are equal, for we are One. This is how Truth Knows me—Pure, One, and Free. This is my Truth; this is our Truth; this is the Self I love.

Reflection

A friend wrote this to me in an email earlier today:

we both know only too well that while we are here things seem important to us, that ultimately we are doing not cos we have to, but just because we can, and when we stand back sometimes we can see that human life is mostly much ado about a meaningless nothing.

This is the key today: sifting the meaningless nothing from the Truth, and making human life about the Truth within.

People go through rough patches, but as my friend points out–it’s mostly of our own making “because we can”, and it’s also mostly meaningless nothing. Why then, oh why, do we do it to ourselves, and buy into it, and then not know how to get ourselves out of it?

I was reading a Christian blog on tithing also earlier today. The author referred several times to points in his life when he was “tested”, and when he went through a “crisis of faith”–and he was currently experiencing such a crisis.

Last weekend, I binge-watched several episodes of Naked and Afraid XL: All Stars, the shows from the Amazon, in which Chance, an Army Ranger, stayed with Russel because “you never leave a man behind”, then Russel turns around and leaves Chance because he was “only thinking of himself”, making for a (pretty severe) mental crisis for Chance.

Pretty much this whole Journey I’ve been in and out of my own crisis–which I’ve called “panic” and “anxiety”. From the two above examples, and my own experience, it seems like when these crises are happening, it’s not like there is anything specific to do, except to get through it. The Christian blogger prays, Chance repeated his military creed, and I’ve been doing mantra.

There’s an element of acceptance here, “there’s nothing to do, but to get through it”.

At the moment, I am thinking that acceptance is the key. But acceptance, to the mind, is difficult because it feels like what you’re accepting is something you don’t want i.e. panic and anxiety, or personal crisis, or betrayal. But this is the trick of the mind, right? The panic and anxiety are caused by not accepting–they are caused by resisting the Truth within.

The Truth within Knows the Truth of us.

In crisis, we remind ourselves of that Truth, however we can, and by doing so, align with It. When we align with Truth, we align with what is Real, not the meaningless nothingness our minds have constructed.

The Christian Blogger reminds himself of Truth through prayer. I use these Journeys, and mantra. Chance used the Ranger Creed (below). Any method that points you to your own highest ideal–the strength within, a higher cause, responsibility to be the best human being you can be–will increase the influence of that Ideal, and decrease the grip of the mind which presents us with meaninglessness.

Cling to the ideal. Cling to the highest vision for yourself. Do whatever you need to do to get through it, with the Truth of your Self intact. Hold fast. This too shall pass.

I am thankful for friends with wise words. I am thankful for friends who keep me afloat. I am thankful for friends who anchor me. I am thankful for friends who know when to tell me to breathe! By being their Truth, they remind me of mine.

Ranger Creed

Recognizing that I volunteered as a Ranger, fully knowing the hazards of my chosen profession, I will always endeavor to uphold the prestige, honor, and high esprit de corps of my Ranger Regiment.

Acknowledging the fact that a Ranger is a more elite soldier who arrives at the cutting edge of battle by land, sea, or air, I accept the fact that as a Ranger my country expects me to move further, faster, and fight harder than any other soldier.

Never shall I fail my comrades. I will always keep myself mentally alert, physically strong, and morally straight and I will shoulder more than my share of the task whatever it may be, one hundred percent and then some.

Gallantly will I show the world that I am a specially selected and well-trained soldier. My courtesy to superior officers, neatness of dress, and care of equipment shall set the example for others to follow.

Energetically will I meet the enemies of my country. I shall defeat them on the field of battle for I am better trained and will fight with all my might. Surrender is not a Ranger word. I will never leave a fallen comrade to fall into the hands of the enemy and under no circumstances will I ever embarrass my country.

Readily will I display the intestinal fortitude required to fight on to the Ranger objective and complete the mission, though I be the lone survivor.

Rangers, lead the way.

 

 

This IS It: Journey of Freedom 2017–Day 05

Copyright Tam Black 2015
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

How can I live apart from God? God is indivisible. God is my Source and the Life within me. My Oneness with All through God was established at my birth, at the creation of my being. The realization of this Truth is the foundation of my freedom.

Reflection

I spent 5 minutes today contemplating the Guiding Thought, and was pretty focused the whole time.

However, it was one of those days where my emotional energy was in a state of disarray, which means even though I was focused, my emotions inhibited clarity, and actually (I felt that they) worked against me the whole time.

Even though I understood the Guiding Thought intellectually, my emotions fought me. It was as though for every “positive” statement in the Guiding Thought, my emotions were there feeling the opposite.

So then, I felt like a hypocrite.

How can I be reading/thinking about my inherent Oneness with God, when I am feeling things that are definitely not similar to Love, patience, compassion, or kindness? To myself of anyone else?

I kept trying to talk myself down. After all, the Guiding Thought is “supposed” to offer reassurance, right? It’s supposed to be the light in the darkness that leads me on an illumined path toward my Divine Self, right?

But each time I tried to talk myself down, it just seemed like more of a reason to give myself a hard time; the contrast between where I want to be (represented by the Guiding Thought), and how I feel my emotions (those “negative” -bouncing-off-the-walls-emotions), was intense and stark, and only served to make me feel like I did not deserve, nor could I achieve the Guiding Thought. Ack.

There were moments (probably only seconds, since the whole thing lasted just 5 minutes), where I felt like the emotions were explosive—as though if I were in contact with another person at that moment, I would lash out.

I (pretty much never) feel that way.

I then tried to tell myself other things that I often respond to, as a way to get my emotions (or my head) out of my ass: namely, that these are really intense times, that there is a lot going on—energetically, emotionally, spiritually, cosmically… Since I know there is a lot going on I know I can have patience with myself.

That did not seem to work.

Then I told myself, “come on, since you know this, you know what to do…use your tools, transmute the energy, be the transformer toward Peace you know how to be”.

But interestingly, I rebelled against that. It was like I didn’t like where I was but also didn’t want to get  myself out of it.

I (pretty much never) feel that way (anymore). There have been times over the years where this was very much my modus operandi. But I’ve matured; I’ve grown out of it.

Or have I? I guess I haven’t grown or matured out of it completely. Damn.

So then that brought up the final thing that I told myself to get myself out of the emotional spin: This old shit is coming up to be released. Yes. Yes, it is. Just remember that.

But then I thought, “but what if I don’t release it? What do I need to do to release it? What if it doesn’t happen? What do I need to do? How do I actually do it since I am in this total funk? ACK!!!”

Seriously, there was panic there. What if I don’t release it? What if I don’t “work hard enough at it” to get the job done? What if I fail?  Added to my feelings of hypocrisy and panic I felt guilt because I was not doing what (I thought) was necessary to do, what is needed to be done. “I am so lame. I am so lazy. But on top of being lazy I can’t even motivate myself to not be lazy.” Oh crap.

There was, fortunately, a very small, very distant voice that said, “It’s happening. This is it. Just get through it.”

Thank you, dear One Who Knows.