I Can Change– Worth (1.3.20)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

If you are to be your Self in the world, you must be for others as well as yourself. There is no other. Be willing to receive the Infinite Love of All. Be willing to understand how to rise above the struggles and pains of the world. Be willing to rise again and again with each call for help, each outstretched hand. Be willing to be the one to choose to change. Offer your pain, suffering, guilt, and blame up for transformation, into the light of Love that you may see and give only the light of Love always.


What’s the difference between change and transformation?

“Be willing to be the one to choose to change. Offer your pain, suffering, guilt, and blame up for transformation

There’s a lot that can be said about this, a lot of things to consider, but for current discussion, this phrase gives a clue to what I currently find significant: choose to change.

Here’s the difference: Most of the time it feels like change happens. It feels like change is happening “out there” or “to me”. Change just happens. I have to “go with it”, deal with it, but I can’t direct it or control it. …Unless I choose to change. Then it’s different; then I have a say; I have some semblance of control (or so I think).

Transformation first of all feels intrinsically bigger than change. Transformation is magical, mystical, alchemical; it’s something that happens deeply, thoroughly, completely. Transformation feels intentional (which corresponds to choosing to change).

Change has been a big part of the Journey so far, and it continues!

On day 8, I described how I recognized some thoughts that were creating a situation that I found unhealthy for me, and which I was interested in changing; I listed those thoughts, then I listed the thoughts that I was going to change those thoughts to, whenever I noticed the first thoughts coming up.

I’ve still been doing that. Recently, however, I’ve noticed that more, different, “destructive” (non-life-affirming) thoughts were coming up. These thoughts feel like they are at a new layer or level of release and healing.

At first, I still felt some resistance and denial when the new stuff came up. The work is so constant; there’s always more to heal, release…transform. Sometimes I get tired of it…but not for long, because I know that staying in a destructive mind frame will only make it worse. And besides, it has gotten easier and easier to shift my mind into love, light, healing, transformation (thank God).

I believe in Light. I believe in Light as Healing, as Love, as transformative, as a connection to the Divine.

I don’t know what Light does or how It does it. I just know that when I think Light, my mind changes; my situations change; my emotions about the situations change, and I have more peace, calm, trust overall.

In my recent-new level of stuff bubbling to the surface for healing, I’ve been using this thought as the replacement to the non-life-affirming thoughts:

Transmute, transmute by Violet Fire, all causes and cores not of God’s desire. I am a being of Cause alone; that Cause is Love, the sacred tone.

I am choosing to change. I am offering my pain, suffering, guilt, and blame up for transformation, into the light of Love.

I’m not a victim of change. I am not at the mercy of my thoughts. I am not a victim to suffering. I can change. I choose to change.

And it is so.



What does this have to do with– Worth (1.3.7)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

I claim who I am, the essence of my Self, established in and by Love. My Self shines with the strength, beauty and power of its essence, Love. As I open to my Self, accept my Self, and Love my Self, the Life of Unity infuses all my activity and transforms my consciousness. Life as my Self renews my Joy and restores my trust in Life itself.


“Change is the only constant”. Yet so many people resist change…or at least that seems to be the case.


One would think that if change is the only constant, then it is completely natural. And if it is completely natural, doing it should be easy…and natural.

So, why do so many people seem to have a problem with change? Here are some ideas:

  • Change is imposed from outside, or not chosen
  • Transition periods are associated with adapting to the change are difficult
  • The new/different situation will be “worse”

Even so-called positive change people seem to have a rough time with, mainly associated with the second point above.

If people have a conscious or sub-conscious aversion to change, I wonder how resistant people are to transformation?

And if people are resistant to transformation, then is there a resistance to today’s Guiding Thought, “the Life of Unity infuses all my activity and transforms my consciousness”.

I feel like this awareness is a valuable insight. Although I do not feel resistant to change, if there is a part of my mind that is–especially one that is subconscious–then it is working against what I am trying to accomplish with these Journeys. Transformation is the whole point of the Journeys.

I just remembered that I wrote about this very thing at the very end of the last Journey. That feels significant. I must be working on this in my inner mind, my subconscious, my inner self.

These Journeys instigate change. The whole point is to teach myself to think in ways that are more loving, kind, unified, compassionate. As I have been doing this, small changes happen in life–the Life of Unity infuses all activity.

But it does not happen all at once, and in some ways, it happens so subtly that the change is barely noticeable most days.

Then (and this is what I’ve experienced), you wake up one day, and realize something is different; you’re different. But it happened so slowly, and now feels so natural.

This is what it means, I think, about “in a twinkling of an eye”. It’s not that it happens all at once, that fast; it’s that when the changes are happening in incremental amounts, over a long period of time, it takes some time for the brain to realize it, and “see” it. Then it just seems like it happened so fast.

I’m going to keep thinking about this whole change/transformation thing. I think it’s much bigger than I am currently aware of it being, and I need to open myself to learning about what it’s teaching me. And what does this have to do with worth, anyway?

The Evolution: Journey of Creation – Day 02

Copyright Tam Black 2017
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

When I am aware of my own consciousness as Perfect Love, I am aware of everything as Love, and of Love as everything. In this state of awareness, I create naturally and easily in unison with Perfect Love, with all of existence.


First, a check-in: I can feel the bigness of this Journey. I’ve been feeling a little cranky, irritable, and very tired; tiny things seem to bother me. This is an indication to me that some of my “stuff” is bubbling to the surface, spilling over, making me aware. This happens sometimes…all that stuff that knows it needs to transform rears its head when it’s confronted with that which will be transforming it. To re-phrase the Guiding Thought, and add to yesterday’s: when I am aware of my imperfections, I am aware of the places within which need to be released! Thank God for imperfections and the tools to transform them.

With that said, onward!

I definitely like the idea of creating naturally and easily with all of existence.

Imagine that for a moment: Everyone and everything is on your side, working with you to create…

To create what, exactly?

To create Perfect Love? That doesn’t make sense, does it?

If everything is already Perfect Love, why would it need to be created?

Furthermore, if Perfect Love is all that has been or will be created, why don’t I see or experience it all the time? I should be able to look around me and see Perfect Love everywhere, shouldn’t I?

Either Perfect Love is everything and I just can’t see it…

Or everything is not Perfect Love.


I choose Perfect Love is everything and I just can’t see it. I may be wrong, but I’d rather move in the direction of Perfect Love rather than away from it.

How do I move toward it, especially if I can’t see it?

Perfect Love is definitely bigger than I am right now. Maybe someday I will catch up to It, but right now, I lag far behind (especially when my little crankies are showing themselves).

My awareness is up to me! The evolution of my consciousness is up to me! Another day down, another step accomplished. This is the evolution.



“I Epiphanied Myself”: Journey of Worth 2.0 – Day 37

Copyright Tam Black 2016 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2016
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

I claim who I am, the essence of my Self, established in and by Love. My Self shines with the strength, beauty and power of its essence, Love. As I open to my Self, accept my Self, and Love my Self, the Life of Unity infuses all my activity and transforms my consciousness. Life as my Self renews my Joy and restores my trust in Life itself.



Sometimes it’s difficult to understand the meaning of “transforming consciousness”. What is consciousness, anyway? What’s more, sometimes it feels like there is so little change, or the change is happening so slowly, it’s difficult to tell if this spirituality “stuff” is working anyway, much less working in the way it’s “supposed to”–I get hung up on this a lot. How can I talk about what this stuff is, what Consciousness Journeys are, when I have trouble explaining it to myself?

I had a bit of a breakthrough this morning in this regard: I understand a bit better how to explain consciousness, how it applies to these Journeys, and how these Journeys are moving me into a “higher” consciousness. Here it is:

Some of the basic precepts of this Journey, and all of these Journeys, are 1) Love is all there is. 2) I am Love’s image, established in and by Love 3) because Love is all there is, everything is equal in Love; everything is One in Love 4) as I come to understand Love’s Oneness and Unity, my life opens to Love everywhere and in everything 5) when I realize Love is everywhere and in everything, I only want to approach all of life as the Love I am, as the Love it is.

Simply put, the more I am aware of this, able to understand it, and Know it, so that my life is Love and expresses Love, the higher my consciousness.

How do you know where your consciousness “is at”? –How much love are you aware of? Are your thoughts, words, and actions loving, kind, patient (compassionate, forgiving, etc.)? How much love is in your mind and heart? Do you see everything as One and Equal to you? Think about these things, and any more you come up with, on a scale of 1-10: How loving am I today? You’ll start becoming aware of where your consciousness is.

These Journeys increase your awareness and understanding of your own relationship with your Self and with Love. That’s why they are Consciousness Journeys. These are Journeys because there is always more–Love is infinite, regardless of where you are, there is further to go. Simply doing these Journeys raises your consciousness higher; it is what this process does, inherently. Every day, I am increasing how aware I am of Love’s presence within myself and in my life.

I had a very tangible understanding of how this works today. I’ll illustrate for you:

How do you think about someone who has “done you wrong”?

  1. I take revenge with self-satisfaction
  2. I take revenge, feeling justified in providing “karmic retribution”
  3. I ask God to take revenge for me
  4. I think vindictive thoughts of revenge, but do not act
  5. I think “what comes around goes around” and know that somehow this wrong will be righted
  6. I wish/pray for bad things to happen to the person who wronged me, and want that person to reap what s/he has sown
  7. I turn the other cheek, forgive and forget
  8. I think/pray for the wrongs to be transmuted with Love, and wish for any wrongs done to that person, by me or anyone else, be righted through Love.

Now, I’ve never really been a vengeful, vindictive person. But…I have thought that I want someone else to experience their karma coming back on them; at its worst, I have actually wanted to witness this, so that I could revel in watching another person “get theirs”.

In my mind, I would think, “This is the Law of the Universe, right? ‘As you sow, so shall you reap’, so I am not wanting anything for this person that isn’t rightfully theirs, or that isn’t part of the natural order. I just want the Universe to do what it does…” And thus, the whole idea of karma was neutral in my mind: I didn’t need to do anything, and if I wanted karma for another person, it was acceptable, because I wasn’t asking for anything other than what the Universe would do anyway.

Sometimes this was the highest I could get: Neutrality (or so I thought).

At other times, I have been very good at forgiving–or, I prefer the term overlooking, because it does not have as much [potential] self-righteousness. When I overlook something, I get to a place of choosing my priorities (for example, “do I want to be right or happy”); I get to a place of seeing a bigger picture, of not blaming or judging, and I am able to act and feel like “it’s all in the past”. Many times I have done this purely. But forgiveness can have its own baggage, in the form of feeling superior (or self-righteous), or internalizing/suppressing something so that I don’t deal with it in that person or the situation (and this can have some self-righteousness to it). So, depending on how purely I am able to bring True forgiveness to a situation, it may or may not be high- or higher-consciousness.

These two things, Karmic neutrality and forgiveness have been the “highest” I’ve been, pretty much. I thought I was doing really well.

It was just this morning, that I realized that H) above, is even higher in consciousness. Here’s why:

If I want karmic retribution for another, then, I am really wanting it for myself (there is no other, we are all One). Despite thoughts of fairness and laws of the universe, I am asking for Karma to come back and bite me in the arse, when my time comes. Why would I want that? Especially if there is another option?

With forgiveness, even though I come to a place of harmony through forgiveness, it does nothing to stunt the “negative” or to bring Love to it. It leaves that energy “out there”, within the vibration or energy field of the other person, their life, continuing to influence them, and thereby influencing all.

What I know through this Journey is that no one is free until we are all free. So, anyone else’s Karma is also affecting me; anyone else’s energy affects me too, whether or not I’ve forgiven or overlooked. We are all equal in Love; Love is all there is; Love is Unity; we are all One.

What do I want for myself? Love. To transmute and transform anything that is not like Love into Love, through Love. How could I not want this for another? And now I do.